Thursday, May 19, 2016

Love the One You're With


I'll be the first person to admit the faults of my gender. Of course I'll also be the first to admit the faults of the opposite gender, and don't get me started on that new gender out there making bathroom visits a bit more of an adventure. No, you see I am here today to talk about a fault of my gender, and if any of the faults of other genders come out of it, it is purely coincidental. I mean, the reason things become a stereotype has a lot more to do with being stereotypical than someone actually trying to ridicule someone. This is why I try to stick to insulting myself or outwardly insulting someone who at least shares a stereotypical behavior that I happen to have.

Facts are facts folks, but men (meaning me, but I usually see it in other men too) have a tendency to be thoughtless. To make myself clear on this one, I don't mean they don't have manners, they don't appreciate things, no they just don't think about a lot of the things they do. At the very least they don't think long and hard about things that one of the other genders would. A man reading this might be offended until I throw out the example of photographs. Yes a man wouldn't think twice about taking a picture of their wife, and posting it to social media. The women reading this just gnashed their teeth, and are thinking "Oh he's one of those people who doesn't understand the rules," and yes you are correct. I am after all thoughtless.

Every married man out there has had their wife storm in from the other room to remind them that the picture they took over the weekend is NOT allowed online and YOU better take it down. You know, the picture of you standing by your freshly waxed truck, that you were posting to Facebook so that all your buddies can be jealous of how awesome your truck looks. The one that coincidentally she noticed has a blurry indecipherable reflection of her on the back bumper. Yes my friend YOU have broken the rules. You learned about these rules years ago when you took a picture of your wife bowling and thought she looked beautiful in her bowling shirt, only to narrowly escape divorce court after she saw it (the ugliest picture of her ever, just ask her) in your photo gallery. You'd be better off having naked photos of your ex girlfriend in there (because then she can at least remind you of what a cow she was) than even a wedding photo of your soul mate in there.

Now of course you may ask, "What stupid point are you trying to make today Mr Crow?" or you may just assume that I am trying to take a jab at my wife, and I assure you that it is the former and not the latter. I may not survive this obvious example of my thoughtlessness, much less trying to make a point to my beautiful, sweet, loving, little gift from heaven that I come home to everyday. No if anything I am trying to make all of you men out there feel better about yourselves and in turn possibly make the women in your lives a little more comfortable with YOUR level of thoughtlessness considering that they could have been married to THIS GUY. By clicking that link you are wisked away to the man who recently decided to post a Facebook Live video of his wife giving birth, AND THEN FORGOT TO MAKE IT PRIVATE! Yes that is what we would call Thoughtlessness 2.0. Thoughtlessness 3.0 was what he passed when he decided to NOT delete the link after someone pointed it out to him.

You're welcome ....