Monday, February 29, 2016

My Head Will Teach That Wall

Life is simply a series of events that give you the opportunity to demonstrate that you aren’t as smart as you think you are. You can quote me on that if you want, but the last few months have been a long series of training myself to think differently than I had before, and for anyone who thinks this is a difficult maneuver; try doing it when you are a few short months away from your forty-sixth birthday. Yes, there are an awful lot of tendencies that have been ingrained into my very sense of being that are, well, just wrong. I happen to hate admitting that as much as anybody else.

You see this all started a couple of months ago when I finally had to admit that I am not a very good driver. I had spent a lot of years telling myself that I was, and the fact of the matter is, I am not. Very few people in this world will admit this, but then again very few people have had three very expensive accidents, that were completely their fault. It’s not exactly a club anyone, including myself had wanted to join anyway. Sure there were bad road conditions in all three of these (although the last one might be more my denial of being a bad driver and less the black ice I swore I hit) but my decision making skills are also in question here. We can also throw in the fact that driving to the gym at 2am didn’t always mean I was awake for it. I digress. The fact is I had to admit that I wasn’t going to do that anymore.

All cannibalism aside (eating Crow, get it?), I slid into a pretty good bout of depression. Financially I was harming my family by repeatedly having to pay deductibles. Of course with my birthday in a few days I have all the crap of registering cars, etc etc so financial dire straits are pretty common this time of the year. I didn’t help. I was also not very thrilled with giving up my best habit (although arguably my worst as well) of going to the gym every morning, and start using my home gym. My home gym as many of you know is a used BowFlex and a used pair of Building Blocks, as well as scattered other cheap accessories that could be considered “gym like” in nature. My own thoughts aided along by the general opinions of others being that using a BowFlex means bodybuilding is pretty much finished.

Now of course don’t get me wrong, I had already been through the battles with the bodybuilding Nazis over the fact that I couldn’t afford a better gym than Planet Fitness. In other words I “learned” to avoid idiots who looked at the color of the equipment you used and then dismissed you as worthless. It’s why I started my own “Health Whacko Page” and then later on “Health Whacko Community” so that idiots could just be booted out of my way. The BowFlex was my own stigma that I would never get a good workout with it. Again I was wrong, and worse than that I was really wrong, and probably would have had a better couple of years working out had I just used it to begin with and would have saved myself a few car accidents too. I hate proving myself wrong, but better late than never.