Wednesday, October 7, 2015

What Comes Around


Here I am the other day donating time to my favorite charity (it’s an organization of wingless birds who need your help rescuing their eggs from the descendants of Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy) and out of nowhere comes one of the people who swears they can do my job better than I do. Now of course they don’t come right out and say this, but the way they constantly try to train me to do my job (it’s called the “What are you an idiot?” method) you would think that they are trying to get a promotion. From what I hear around the shop he uses the “What are you an idiot?” method to try and train everyone how to do their jobs and rarely seems to have enough time for his own job.

Now of course his job doesn’t seem all that hard from the outside looking is. He wanders around all day sticking his nose in everyone’s business, and when someone comes along to question his work ethic, he employs another work strategy we call the “Under bus” method. We’ve all had a turn “under bus” as far as this person is concerned and yesterday while trying to do noble deeds for charity (I have rescued an awful lot of eggs for my wingless bird friends thanks to my trusty slingshot) he felt it necessary to demonstrate some things I have done horribly wrong. This would mean that the person who is technically in charge in the area (although he would be my equal in the hierarchy so to speak, and from what I have seen he doesn’t wield a mighty slingshot or do all that much for charity as I do) must be standing in the area he is taking me to. This is usually more of a “show” moment than it is ever a “teaching” moment.

Covering the floor were broken bolts, nails, insulation and a whole pile of other things that made the area all that more unsightly than usual. More to the point the area that these things were strewn about isn’t exactly my responsibility but I stood there tapping my foot to see where the point was taking us. He did the dramatic Jesus Christ pose to demonstrate to everyone in eye shot that he couldn’t believe I could leave this area in such disarray. I reached over and grabbed a hard hat and put it on his head, less dramatically, but still demonstrating a different point since we were standing in a hard hat zone because of the crew on the roof above him stripping down the old insulation and sheering the bolts from the top so that they could lay down a new roof. Then of course I walked away, he had wasted enough of my time for one day, and I have charity work to get back to.

Today I walk in and the smartest man I work with, was sweeping up the large pile of rubble, and most of the crowd he was trying to impress with his superiority over me, were standing there watching him. It appears that the person who is technically in charge (although my equal, let’s not forget I get an office to do charity work in too) decided that Mr. Know-It-All was going to use the “What am I an idiot?” method to teach Mr. Peabody and Sherman how to sweep up a huge mess that came from the roofing crew. I of course decided to be humble in my small victory as I walked by, pointed to a spot on the floor and said, “You missed a spot.”