Wednesday, September 16, 2015

The Yearly Denial Session With Dr. No

Yesterday was the day I had my yearly physical. For those of you who don’t have a yearly physical, it is the thing we do where we spend a year thinking up all of the excuses for what we didn’t do better since our last physical. My doctor of course doesn’t completely get the bodybuilding thing, so when I walk in there weighing 175 lbs she wonders aloud why I can’t be at the bottom weight cycle for my yearly visit instead of the top weight cycle. I may not have that problem if I didn't tell her that I usually am around 165 at the beginning of summer. Amusingly enough she does make note of all the supplements that I am on each given cycle so that she can read up on them by the next visit, and I almost always have an extra one or two that she has never heard of.

In all fairness she does like to hear all the amusing stories about what I did in the past year to feel less old. This year for anyone that has followed along with my health blogs was the year I tried to eliminate the fat around my waist and deal with the lack of flexibility in my hips. Last year it was the pain in my back, and I am thinking this year will be the pain in my knee. The pain in my hips was caused by strengthening and working out the pain in my back, and would you like to guess how I got the pain in my knee? The fact is that when you get older you better be willing to accept that you are getting older, and now you are paying for when you were young and dumb.

In a nutshell for every action there is a separate and equal reaction or something like that. I can’t stress enough to the youngsters at the gym that it is just better to work on your flexibility from day one, instead of playing catch up later. Yes when I was young and immortal I wouldn’t have listened to a dinosaur like me because after all we didn’t know anything. Its good to check with your kids every once in a while to see how stupid you truly are, they always seem to have a pretty good handle on that. Flipping the coin over and looking at the other side, I am not your average parent in the fact that I find sufficient and satisfying humor in watching them learn the lessons that someone tried to explain to them ahead of time too.

Well as I have another year to ignore all the things the doctor would like me to work on like my intake of junk food, the fact that I like to hang out with the smokers because second hand smoke is yummy and of course the aches and pains I give myself by picking things up and putting them down all the time. I will of course ignore at least, well all of them and work on all the things that I personally would like to work on, I am a clean slate today and the world is my agony. For example lately I have been building up my tolerance to soy, so that I can stop having “surprises” when there is soy in things that it shouldn’t be in. Trust me everything has soy and I blame the vegans because I like to blame the vegans. I have finally gotten myself to the point where I can function with soy in me. The doctor found that amusing too, and was happy that I didn’t explain to her the battle leading up to this point. Trust me you should be happy that I am not writing the next paragraph on how soy reacts with Jeremy too.