Saturday, July 18, 2015

You Got Another Thing Coming

You may find this hard to believe but I used to be pretty cool. I mean you have to go back to the last century and have the ability to see what the generational opinion of “cool” was to see it, but I’m pretty sure I was all the same. Unfortunately like with most people there came a day when I woke up and made the realization that I would take comfort over cool, because I was basically out of the loop on what cool is. I can even tell you the major warning signs that cool had slipped out of my grasp, and it was around the same time when I started listening to AM radio instead of FM radio.

Don’t get me wrong, the FM radio around here has always been pretty bad, and I still couldn’t turn on the radio around here without country, classic rock or top 40, which makes up the entire FM lexicon here in New Hampshire. Obscure stations that would carry something modern but not Taylor Swift blow out at about 150 watts, and you are lucky if you can get them outside of the building they broadcast from. Finally in my mid 30s I simply decided I wasn’t playing radio station roulette anymore (mostly because my eyesight was going and I was probably going to get myself killed) and just moved it over to the AM band and started listening to talk radio or sports. Yep, that took away my cool card.

Then of course came the satellite radio. 200 stations of music and you guessed it, I was on the talk stations or the sports stations because that ship had sailed already, if I was ever going to get my cool back. I had the buttons programmed so when my wife gets in the car I can pop it over to 80s on 8 (because she’s old too) and we were ready to rock and roll, or I guess not rock and roll officially. Unfortunately this was a problem when we took her vehicle because she had the satellite radio turned off, and we were back to carpal tunnels from changing the stations so often because as we all know, the next song ALWAYS sucks.

Here’s where I cut off my nose to spite my face (because let’s face it that’s what you all come here to read anyway) as I got a new car, which cancelled my old Sirius subscription, and placed me in the driver’s seat to get a new one. The genius in me made a deal with my wife that I would get the cheapest package if she would get the same for her car so I wouldn’t have to play FM bingo anymore, and she agreed. The “Mostly Music” package was installed in both of our radios and it is just that, mostly music. No more talk radio or sports for the old fart writing this and I have had to resort to driving around listening to music again.

Now the good news to all of this is that I have been listening to Octane which keeps me more in the loop with the modern hard rock, which is almost cool, but I had a slip of sorts today. I was cruising around listening to Ozzy’s Boneyard which plays all the music that I listened to when I was pretty damn sure I was cool. I had it jacked, and was rocking out to Thunderstruck, then Fantasy, then Balls to the Wall, then Rainbow in the Dark. Man I was in the zone, and feeling like the coolest thing since last century. I maxed out the volume when You Got Another Thing Coming came on, and was full bore bucket seat dancing when I pulled up to a stop light, and in the car next to me were a bunch of college age girls, and they were practically peeing themselves laughing at me.

I can only imagine what their blogs are talking about right now.