Friday, July 10, 2015

The Truth Is The Best Part of the Story

I think it’s kind of amusing that I get the bulk of my followers in the social media world from my blogging tips. My blogging and writing collection is more popular than I am by about 1000 followers, and now it appears that my people and quotes collection is about 500 followers more popular than I am. It’s kind of a hoot actually, but the most amusing thing about all of my blogging tips, is that they took me forever to figure out, and I just want others to get them about a decade quicker than I did. I don’t know why the quotes I post are popular but the gift horse thing yanno?

Well as I was reading other people’s blogs someone had pointed out that she wanted everyone to follow her blog, and she would follow our blogs. It’s a feature that you can add to your blog so that Google Friend Connect can link them and put them into a usable format within your blog feed, and it’s easier than poking through G+ or Facebook or whatever. Did I mention I have been at this for 10 years this Wednesday? You know, been there, done that, t-shirts and all of that yadditta yadditta? For the life of me I couldn’t figure out how to add the “Follow” gadget to my blogs if my life depended on it.

I did the typical “man thing” of course. I poked around in everything, broke a few templates, completely screwed up the format of at least one blog. I think I lost a few posts somewhere along the way. This went on for near a week, and what was more frustrating than that? There were people that had figured out how to follow my blog without the gadget, and I couldn’t even find the gadget! Well I applied some more “man logic” and started looking at the code of other people’s blogs to see how they got the widget, found the snippets of code and tried to install it using my ingenious knowledge of HTML (that I accumulated over the last decade because I am after all a man and would never think to ask for help) and completely wiped out the formatting of one of my blogs. Looked like a really bad RSS feed only really cool colors.

To make a long story short, I finally handed in my man-card (I am expecting the menstruation to start any day now) and typed into Google “How do I get the Follower Widget” and OMFG I had to go through 100 blogs on how to Follow a Wordpress Blog. Really? Really? I mean is this something that is buggling the rest of the known world? I guess I should talk at this point. Once I got past all of those and then past all of the ways to Un-Follow a Wordpress Blog (insert another really really) I found how-tos on clicking the “Follow” button in a blog. UGH! I wanted the stupid “Follow” button on my damn blog! Then the real fun started as I was forced to go through the “Blogger Help Forums” which is like going into an S&M parlor and asking for the extra brutal clad in latex treatment.

I managed to find my way through a whole bunch of forums talking about how some idiot wanted to know how to add a “Follow” button, and then they all took turns comparing him to something between a vibrator and moose nose jelly on the depth chart. Glad I wasn’t, oh wait I am that guy, DAMN! A few dozen more of these, and I found one where someone accidentally said, “To think these idiots don’t even think to look on the next tab …” WHOA! There’s a next tab? Well lookie there, down at the bottom of the next tab is the “Followers” gadget. I have since added them to all of my blogs, and the good news is that I can now give blogging tips and talk about how I have been blogging since George Washington got a whoopin for chopping down that cherry tree, and everyone can go to my blogs and say, “and in all that time he has 6 Followers?”

I never told you all I was good at it!