Wednesday, June 17, 2015

The Legend of Skippy the Metalhead

You ever have that watershed moment when it finally dawns on you that you really are getting old? This happened to me in the form of an expression that was hilarious to me and my friends back in the late 80s early 90s and now is basically so old that nobody can really get it if you explained it to them. I was listening to the Hairspray channel on IHeartRadio (see I’m hip I can operate a smart phone and stream music!) and a song by Fastway came on (If You Could See) and one of those whippersnappers um young punks uh kids that I work with came in and commented on how my music sucked. This was where I decided to take an awkward situation with an idiot who listens to hip hop and give him material for his blog on old folks. Well if he can read and write I assume that is what he will do.

My dumbassery knows no bounds as I said, “You don’t remember Skippy the Metalhead do you?” My mind should have taken over where my need to be cool was failing because of course he doesn't know who Skippy the Metalhead is. This asshat wasn't even born during the dark ages when we paid under a buck for gas and “Skippy” was a character on a show that was already dead, and showed up in a movie that was already out of the theaters. No, the asshat typing this right now thought he would catch on to one of the things that made this so funny to me. “The show Family Ties?” or “The movie Trick or Treat?” and I finally got some vague recollection from him about the Honda Commercial where they were all doing “Crazy Train,” but he didn't get the humor of Ozzy Osbourne playing a priest in the movie. This was a Jeremy EpicFail from start to finish.

This was almost as bad as the day that I heard Van Halen’s “I’ll Wait” on the oldies radio station and nearly had a fit because that song wasn't old it played at my damn prom, and was reminded by someone that that was 25 years ago. You know, back when MTV had music videos, and yes it is hard to convince a 20 year old that that ever happened too. Of course as the salt in my hair is starting to really outweigh the pepper I don’t think I am really fooling anyone. Unfortunately it has been a few years since my company has had a summer outing so that I can walk around with my shirt off and look younger than the people half my age, so I think that is starting to make me stir crazy as I get less cool and less, well I was going to say hip, but that’s probably about as old and tired as the rest of it.

Well here’s to you Skippy the Metalhead. I guess in the real world if I have it bad in the old and tired category it’s probably worse to be Marc Price (the guy who played Skippy and the Ragman) because I just looked him up, so that I could see what he has been up to. Once you get past his role in Trick or Treat, it doesn't really even say if he is alive or anything anymore. Nobody really cares enough about him to update his Wikipedia page. That’s kinda sad really, but if you get right down to it at least I looked him up and remember that he existed. In the end that is probably one more than will be looking me up 20 years from now. Oh boy, I better come up with a new expression.