My wife and I have made it a habit to go for a walk together just about every day. Of course we have allowed the big stupid dog, to dictate the way we do this. The second she notices my wife putting on her walking shoes the old bird (the dog not my wife) starts jumping up and down, to the best of her ability, barking like to drive everyone insane. Next thing you know she is in a harness (well as soon as you can get it on her, as she lumbers around like a lunatic barking) and our walk is now a threesome. Well for a lap around the circle we live on anyway. She can barely make it through a circle and then we drop her back off at the house, and my wife and I go for a bit longer of a walk.
Yesterday was pretty much the same thing, as we decided we were going for a walk, the dumb dumb (the dog, not my wife) starts going mental, we wrestle her into her harness, and then she stomps around barking at us until we finally leave. We walk out the door, the fluffy piñata (the dog, not my wife) bound down the stairs like she always does before she starts dragging me around for the first hundred or so yards of the walk, which is usually followed by us encouraging her to make it the rest of the way. I led her between the cars, as I always do so her toxic pee doesn’t brown the lawn, and she just stops at the car. We’re completely baffled as to what she is trying to accomplish.
Well we joke about her going for a ride and then start the “dragging her along” a hundred yards early. Realistically speaking, the dog usually gets in the car and then starts whining because she knows something is up. It’s usually a trip to the veterinarian or a trip across the country when she is being moved from one house to another. She hasn’t had very many good experiences in the car, but when we finally gave up on giving her a drag in lieu of a walk she went right back to the car. I opened the door and lifted her into the car, and told my partner in crime (the wife not the dog) that we were apparently going for a ride.
She didn’t look out the windows the whole way and just laid down on the back seat, but she seemed to be enjoying herself. We made a quick trip to Dunkin Donuts where I got an ice coffee and my wife got a Coolatta. The dumb dumb (the dog not my wife) got a couple of munchkin donuts, and we drove around in a big circle for a half an hour or so. Once we got back to the house, I took the dog inside, and my wife and I finally had our walk. I still have no idea what got into the old girl (the dog not my wife) but she apparently wanted to have a day out of the house but didn’t feel like walking anywhere. This just goes to show, that no matter what I do with my life I continue to be bossed around by women. Old habits die hard.