Thursday, May 14, 2015

Here a Cap There a Cap Everywhere a Bump Cap

When my company was purchased by a larger company, there were cultures that had to change. The most glaring was the “seat of our pants” method of operation, but there was also a safety culture that was brought in. We can all pretend that the board of directors sits up late at night worried about all of our safety, but common sense will tell you that they probably sit up late at night worried about insurance premiums. That’s perfectly ok depending on how you look at these things. I personally worry about my insurance premiums too, but I also worry about being able to walk upright, and make it home in one piece, so it is pretty much a win-win for me. Some may find it to be a pain in the rear to be so safety conscious all the time, but I have my own reasons for taking it seriously.

A good example of this is the “bump caps” that they brought in from day one and distributed to all of us. They are basically a plastic shell that is placed inside of a ball cap that keeps you from minor blows to the head. The brim of the cap keeps you from getting particulates in your eyes as they fall from dusty machines. Some were not too happy with this, some were like “hey a free ball cap,” and many others were just able to comprehend that employment often has its rules. I was indifferent for the most part, but didn’t mind wearing a ball cap with a bump insert in it. That’s where it gets pretty interesting though because it wasn’t until I had something protecting the melon, that I realized how often I knocked the melon against various things.

Let’s be real here, there are people in this world that are the very embodiment of stamina and grace, and I have accepted that I am not one of them. I think it has to do with the Taurean Moon that was in the sky on the day I was born, that I have always been more susceptible to just run into everything. I can’t exactly be trusted in a china shop if you know what I mean? The fact that I was also born into a Piscean Sun makes me a complete scatterbrain to boot. The combination of the two whether you are into astrology or not, is basically what describes the inner workings of Jeremy, and the fact that I have what is mostly a “desk job” doesn’t change the fact that I am an accident waiting to happen. I put my bump cap on when I get to work and I take it off when I leave. I should probably wear it at home too, but baby steps people, baby steps.

I watch the other people with an office, and a desk, and a computer where they do the bulk of their work, walk into their offices and discard the bump cap. I have learned the “new tricks” that us “old dogs” are supposed to be immune to. My cap stays on even when I am sitting at my desk because in the frame of twenty minutes I could do all or at the very least part of these things. Knock something off the shelf above my desk and squarely on my head. Stand up from my desk turn around and forget to open the door before I walk through the door. Walk to the other side of my office and smack my head into the shelf that has been there for about three years. Let us not forget all of the opportunities I give myself to trip over my feet and land ever so gracefully. Yeah this is me, warts and all, and the bump cap has helped me even in an office environment.

I don’t see it coming on the horizon too soon, but there will probably be a study that demonstrates that we should all wear knee pads, elbow pads and shin guards (oh man I could use some shin guards) and I won’t be one of the people making Voodoo dolls of the EHS Leader. I’ll probably pretend to be grumpy about it when I’m in the break room with all the disgruntles, but in the back of my head I’ll still be a little happy that my company is protecting me from me. Somebody has to after all.