Friday, March 13, 2015

You Think You Got It Bad

A good marriage isn't something that I am exactly an expert on, but I have some training and appear to be getting better at it every day. My wife is without a doubt my best friend and I am pretty sure that I occupy that space in her life as well. Of course with any best friend you share a certain level of intimacy that doesn't pertain to anything romantic, but more on a base level of something that you would have seen in Revenge of the Nerds. Humor about bodily function, or even just plain honesty with a comrade in the battle we call life, is a best friends job. It isn't always the job of a spouse.

Well one of the things that my lover, my mother, my co-conspirator and my best friend (all of which are roles my wife has had to fill over the years) also has to deal with is my willingness to write, often, unabashedly, and of course publicly. This adds another level of humor into our lives, because during those times of particularly hilarious banter that we have throughout the day, is my off the cuff remark of, “I can’t wait to blog this,” which is usually met with the response of, “you better don’t!” Yes the mere mention of blogging something particularly infantile or perhaps downright humiliating, has now also become part of our “relationship.”

I want you all to remember this when you think your spouse is the most humiliating creature to ever walk the earth. Some people, like my poor wife have it a lot worse. Let’s throw out there how I never cease to amaze people with how I just bring out the worst in some people. I’m not above a good burping contest for example. There of course was that time she begged me to not post a video of British girls who were off to join ISIS, with my wonderfully blunt commentary about how it would strengthen the gene pool if that kind of stupidity was all concentrated in an area where a lot of bombs are being dropped. Yes what probably makes me a semi-decent writer at times is my lack of a filter, but truly does make for scary times if you do something funny but private around me.


In her defense, she is getting a lot better when she honestly tells me about something “private” and while cracking up I tell her she needs to blog it. She doesn't hit me like she used to when I say, “if you don’t I will,” because she is a real trooper, and has the ability to adapt. I wouldn't be half the man I am today without her, but she also needs to understand how much I sacrifice for the art of good writing (not to mention good comedy) for the sake of our marriage. I’m sure one of these days I will be asleep or stuck at work while she is leaving comments on my blogs with the “real” story behind my stories, or changing my cover photos on my Facebook page (oh wait she did do that) and I will know that she is truly my equal in this game called life. Well to be fair I guess she already is.