Monday, March 23, 2015

A "Business Class" Meme

We have all had fun at the expense of a meme that has been posted to social media here and there, but real life memes also exist that form the basis of a run on joke among friends. The term “business class” has been well over used over the last few years, and if you don't believe me then just watch any of the new Comcast commercials these days. “Business Class Internet” they talk about, and “business class” has become a meme.

If you are unaware of what a “Business Class Asshole” is then you probably don't run in my circles. The best way to describe a business class asshole is that jerk that goes to the gym and has places to be. They are in a hurry and their hurry means they are going to be in your way at every opportunity. They are going to look at you like you don't understand that as a business class asshole they have to get their workout in and then get to the important things they do. You of course would not understand but you should understand that they are important and you are not.

These people strike at the worst of times too. You are at the grocery store, and they make the noises behind you while you are trying to pick out the soup you want. You're in their way, and you shouldn't be. You're not a business class asshole, so you should just move out of the way. Important people have things to do, and it's down right embarrassing that you would occupy the same space as them. Now mind you, I am not singling out business people, I am singling out a class of people that have a certain level of self absorbed that requires ridicule.

Now of course I don't just write these things because I want to create new terms in the common lexicon. I happen to be moderately important in my place of employment. I mean I am one of the biggest hurdles that anyone is going to face if they want “business to get done” at my facility. I maintain a level of class that doesn't require my time to be taken so seriously. Actually I am a very busy person and all but I just can't go there. It's a sanity issue, where I just want to get things done right, instead of right now.

My workout will be perfect regardless of how long it takes me or who I have to work around. My grocery shopping will get done. I actually am building a pretty impressive website on the side, and I just stop and do other things. It will get done when it gets done. I felt I had to sit and write a blog, so I am. There is a moral to the story I assure you, and it might even be worth revealing. The important thing to remember is that you don't judge a book by it's cover. OK that is a story moral older than me, but I shall place it into context.

One of our favorite “business class assholes” at the gym, he has it all, attitude problem, argumentative, ego problems. He has personally told me off on three occasions and often talks about all the things he hates about me within ten feet of me with anyone that will listen. The fact of the matter is he absolutely hates me because I pay no attention to him when he's in full bore “business class asshole” mode. He always needs to use the equipment I do, and always finds issues when I ask to work in. He then gets in his BMW and leaves pissy every time I see him.

I saw him for the first time ever outside of the gym this week. He was walking into the conference room where I work to promote his business to the person in charge of purchasing, which happens to be me. I actually enjoyed watching how uncomfortable he was the entire time, and I made it so much worse on him by being polite and professional. His presentation, as awkward as it was could have been pretty good, but unfortunately the cost and reliability didn't meet the needs of my company. I can only imagine what he'll be like the next time I see him. If he is fully engaged in business class asshole mode, I may find it more amusing than usual.