I used to get confused about these things too, because let’s face it, I’m a guy. It started with what people told me was “all that” to anyone that would be seen with me, to logical decisions, to inner beauty. I mean now a days when I see someone that others would proclaim to be “all that” there are an awful lot of filters that naturally get put up. Will they be able to listen to me when I prattle on about things like politics, sports, health and God knows what else bores most people to death? Will they accept my brain that never shuts off, and probably has some form of untreated ADHD? Would they see that I have feelings and emotions that tend to be hidden by my arrogance and self-righteousness?
I think I have learned pretty well over the years that my faults are really bad. I have also learned that my upside easily outweighs those things, so as I got older I stopped accepting that my faults are all that I am. I work on them of course, but looking at someone who thinks or knows that they are “all that” doesn't get me any closer to being better for someone. Hell it doesn't help me to even be better for me. Does this version of “all that” understand this? Does she push me (OK sometimes nag me) to be a better me for her and me? Why should any of this matter you egotistical jerk? It does and that is all that matters.
Now after the aesthetics, does she have the most beautiful eyes that God has ever placed on a woman? Does she have such an incredibly sexy mind that it covers up every last one of her physical imperfections? Does she have what it takes to be a part of my favorite daily ritual? (the cuddling in bed before going to sleep) Would I miss her the entire time I am at work, and call the last hour of work every day “happy hour” because I know I get home to her in an hour? Do you get my drift that “all that” can’t be measured in a moment, or even a lifetime of looking at someone?
The answer to all of these questions is pretty simple, because nobody else is into the category of “all that” theory, because “all that” is lying upstairs asleep while I type this. My personal “all that” will get up in a little while and see the Valentine’s Gifts that I got for her, and hopefully the story I give her about each one will make her smile. Just to name a couple there are the assorted Hershey’s Minis that I got her because she always wants chocolate, but these aren't really good enough chocolate to make her devour the whole bag and the canister of almonds because that was the first thing we snacked on constantly together during our first dates.
Today being Valentine’s Day, I just wanted to make sure that I threw out my own personal theory of “all that” and hope that everyone out there has found their “all that” to spend the day with. If you haven’t yet, then for the love of God go out there and start working on it. It takes time and it takes effort, but the benefits of it are too numerous to list. Even for a long winded bastard like me, who at times will make a stab at it, and my beautiful wife Carrie who at times will sit and listen to me try too.