Monday, July 18, 2011

And Then There Were Two - Volume 2

I have been going through all of my old blogs in an effort to write a book using as many of them as I can, and hopefully make some money, for both of you that are wondering what I am up to. At this point I had to take a break because I have 350 pages [11 pt font to boot] of copy, paste, edit so far and my wrists are killing me worse than that time I found porntube! I have only gotten to the beginning of 2008 at that point as well, and as I had been telling myself the whole way, “You stop writing as much and you stopped writing humorous stuff,” I am finding out that I don't remember myself all that well either. To be honest with you I have been learning more about my last 6 years than I had thought I remembered even.

First I noticed that I had the big draw time when I was on Yahoo. My ego went insane and I crashed and burned. We all know this. Then came the Myspace time. Ego, crash, burn and a trend is born. What I hadn't realized as if I had put it out of my mind was something that had happened after the whole 2006 campaign of self destruction. I watched as my blogs got more political, excellently written to be fair, but horribly boring to the people that read me, and as I was there I was expecting it to get easier. Well it didn't because I had forgotten that I had a renaissance period where my popularity and writing came back in full force and I had totally blocked it from my mind. Of course again I waned and went more political because I am a moody son of a bitch, but 2007 believe it or not was my biggest writing year, and I had written so much more brilliantly than I had in the beginning that it was almost my self destructive side that was taking me off game.

It was also the most emotionally complex year for me, and I often forget about all of that too. It started with my destruction of an entire online community as many people out there in Cyber-ia remember, some fondly, most angrily. That still makes me smile, I'm sorry but it was a great closure to my whole “look at me look at me” attitude, and I have since gotten over that, thank GOD. It went for a while with a great hay-day to my writing, and then as I looked through the archives it all crashed and burned, and I was trying to figure out why? Well I know why as I was looking over a blog entry called “Superdaddyman Takes on the Iron Triad – Part 1” and was trying to figure out why there never was a part 2. Initially I read through it and said to myself, “Self, you need to finally write that Part 2” but when I was done I couldn't remember how the story ended. Go figure?

That's when it all dawned on me. In a span of about 3 months after I had written that I had rushed off to Florida to take care of my father who was in a coma, brought him back here, and spent a good portion of an already over-taxed life taking care of him and all of his affairs. Mix this in with the single father responsibilities, the full time employee responsibilities, and everything else, and I was basically done as a publicity hound. For the last 3 years I have basically accepted my mediocrity and written purely to amuse myself. The story itself also basically demonstrated the official end of my integrating my fans, girlfriends, and nemesis' online into my blogs, and I know exactly why that was. The woman I had been carrying out my online love life with off and on for almost two years finally smartened up and left me. The people who still looked at my blog to see what was up every once in a while finally forgot about me {except for Don and Cathy of course, as I noted they were the two in that story that still check in near daily, cuz they LOVE ME!! insert big grin smiley here} as they should because I am not very dependable. Most of all I had finally fallen to that state of obscurity that I wasn't worthy of stalkers anymore, and I have to say ego or not I am THRILLED that I am unworthy, trust me.

In all it wasn't worth all of my foibles, and more over it is kinda good that I had shrunken down to nothing so that I could take all of the crap I had written {I totaled it all, and it would equal 22,000 pages of 11pt type, son of a bitch did I do some writing over the years} and draw out all of the humorous, with a small amount of un-humorous background material that fits in with the time line and helps explain some of it, into a book that might be new and fresh to someone. I'm way more than half way there after 2 days of working on it, and the hard part really will just be formatting it and thinking up what it is realistically worth for a 700 page book of recycled crap. I'm also reasonably happy that my best writing went wholly unnoticed in the last two years and will be a welcome surprise in the whole kludge. In the end it doesn't matter because it is just a first step to finally being what so many have thought I could be. Sometimes even myself. ;8o)