Saturday, September 18, 2010

The Truth About Cats & Dogs - Volume 14

DISCLAIMER - This is going to be one of those types of blogs that might be slanted in a direction that some could find offensive. A thick skin would come in handy here but I realize that many have a hard time with such concepts, so I am placing this disclaimer at the beginning so that I can cover my ass, and use the art of teasing and ridicule should this be taken to heart unrealistically. As always, but more so in a case like this I would like to remind you that crying to Blogger, the thought police, Gloria Steinham, you mommy, or me will do you no good because, as I am trying to get the point across here ahead of time, I didn't give a shit when I wrote this and I will give far less of a shit after you have read past this warning. Thank you and have whatever type of fucking day you would like to

Misogyny ~mi-sog-y-ny~ -noun- ~hatred, dislike, or mistrust of women~

These are usually the easiest blogs to write and the hardest to publish, but let me tell you all about a problem that has been growing in scope and clarity for a while now and it involves the most evil woman I have ever known. Someone might be reading this and assuming that Jeremy is going to go on another rant about one of his ex wives or an ex girlfriend or even one of his daughters, but those that truly know me know exactly who I am talking about. It's hard to believe that she has managed to stoop to an even lower level unless you have known this woman for forty years as I have, and the real burden on my head is that I hate myself for being shocked.

Let's get down to some brass tacks here, so that if there is someone reading this that hasn't known me for a long time and figured it out on their own, but I absolutely hate women. That's not a flippant statement it is a fact, I hate women, the gender with just about every fiber of my being. When I sit alone at a keyboard, or working, or just about anything that involves sitting alone in my own head for a while, I think about how much I hate women and why. It isn't too hard realistically, but I am sure that someone out there is wondering how this can be true. I mean I have a very good record of defending women against misogyny at every level, and I am very outspoken about when someone is a flat out misogynist in their word or deed, and have often been called a voice of reason for a woman's rights. There is a reason for this though, and that is because my mind can “go there” so I can spot it from a mile away. As a matter of fact I spend an unusually large amount of my rationality and patience trying to NOT be outwardly misogynistic, and that is EXACTLY the reason that the Keith Olbermanns, Bill Mahrs, and other flaming misogynists who get praised for that behavior get under my skin. You could call it jealousy I guess but perhaps unjustified self righteousness could be a better explanation.

Many of the women who know me very well give me the proper credit for my ability to work on this issue as hard as I do. I have tried to accept the issue and simply move on, but that is foolhardy to not acknowledge what makes anyone the way they are. It's worse to simply use it as an excuse to get worse. The very first woman in my life is the grand example of what makes me the way I am in so many ways it makes me want to scream. She left when I was 5 or 6 years old, to go be “famous” and came back from time to time when she needed a son as a prop for whatever reason, and in her own inability to be a parent she inevitably made everything worse for that son and then left again. I got over that believe it or not, because I learned about 20 years ago that you are what your parents make you, and thanks to free will if you choose to stay that way then BLAME YOU! The problem in this instance is that I am now 40 years old and I have my own children to protect from this monster, and there are OTHER women that are aiding her in her quest to finish me off.

I happen to have a grandmother {as many of you know} who uses guilt and horrible irrationality to control environments around her. Being a man born into my family I am not only susceptible to guilt, it will kill me as it has every other man in my family before I reach 70 years old. The women of course all live to be 100. I have an aunt who believes that most of what I do is wrong and it is because it is in my DNA. Misogyny is the least of my problems with the looming threat of a murder trial hanging over my head every time I am compared to my grandfather {the racist, sexist, homophobe that HE was} and thus brushed off as invalid, and unworthy of listening to. These two of course are always in collusion with my mother to let her live how she wants and bring it here every few years to create chaos. They of course will assure me that they will deal with her, never do, make me miserable, and then a few weeks after any of these events pretend that they did. Then they will emotionally abuse me if I evven intimate that they are full of shit about the whole situation either before hand or after the fact when things like “proof” are available. Enough with the background, lets get to the rant.

I was informed a few weeks ago that my mother would be coming to stay with us for a week. Now this of course makes me miserable because I don't want to see her, but I can at least handle this every two years as it goes now. She usually comes here, sleeps the entire time she is here, and leaves with just enough damage so I can explain away to my children why their grandmother so obviously doesn't love them in a week or so. My children are very good at being let down so as the years go on, and they are ever closer to their own future drinking problems they are adapting. Initially I was angry because she {as she always does} scheduled her time to be here around the time that my father is going to be here. They can say what they want but I know one of these days she is going to try and con a boatload of money out of him AGAIN. Let's keep in mind that any time I borrow {or should I be honest and say “get gifted”} money from my father she makes a huge family tragedy out of it to demonstrate what a bum I am. Let's not factor in that I am his son and she is his ex-wife who already ruined him once. None of her fucking business to be honest with you but it is always the mark of a bad person to transfer their own guilt onto others. The women in my family are far superior to it than your average human though. I digress because again this is far worse than what it appears so far.

Now {in typical Jeremy's relative gender female} it was a few days ago when they let it slip, the real reason my wonderful mother is coming up here and staying with us for a week. She's getting a facelift. My cries poverty, miserable, lives on SSI, fantasyland occupant mother is coming here after not seeing her grandchildren for two years to have a major surgery and let us deal with her for an entire week. No big deal huh? My mother, the writer, the drama queen, the irrational, is going to be under my roof, after crying poverty and making us miserable {not to mention MY money that my grandmother sent her to start a business that failed} is going to do a Frankenstein monster appearance for the benefit of what? NOBODY BUT HER! I have been so furious for the last week that I have barely been able to deal with everyday human interactions! I can't escape this bullshit either because I am poor after all of the kids birthdays etc, so I can't even take the kids out of this shithole over the weekend of bullshit that this woman is going to put me through. It get's worse.

I did last night at work finally formulate a plot that would involve a huge leap of faith, but might have lessened all of this for me. Of course you all know that this isn't going to work, and you also know the reason why. Women! I was proud of coming to the conclusion that I would take the kids to their mother's house, and leaving them there for the weekend. Let's keep in mind that my ex-wife hasn't had an overnight with the kids for over 4 years since the night I dropped them off and found out her boyfriend was in jail for beating her up and could get out at any minute! In general this would have been a huge leap of faith, and also a gigantic pain in my ass because I would have to drive them an hour and a half away, drive two hours back to get to work on time, but it would have kept them safer than the woman that will be HERE! I could then spend most of my time at the beach reading over the weekend wishing I lived somewhere else, but NOOOOOO that's too fucking easy isn't it? My grandmother started slamming me with guilt because her and my aunt had made plans with the kids over and over again the whole weekend.

You would think that this would solve the problem, but you have to know these people. None of these plans will happen. They will make alternative plans without the kids at the last minute, and they will leave me stuck here in single daddy hell with kids, that wish their mopey grandmother with the swolen face didn't hate them, and would go home. Keeping in mind as I said before I have NO MONEY to entertain the kids elsewhere. Kids are wonderful too, because they will insist on hanging out in the common areas of the house getting on everyone's nerves until I hear “Jeremy, come get the kids they won't listen to me” from one of these fucking harpies in my family chain. Over and over and over again.

Of course anyone who knows me, been reading me for a while, or understands these types of scenarios is shaking their heads in pity right now. Many women probably haven't comprehended a word I have written because they are too involved with thinking up reasons I am wrong. Others are thinking that I am just fatalistic, but in the end I will get through this. A few more gray hairs, a couple of more years taken off my life, a month's worth of damage control and ulcers, but I also have to deal with the fact that my father will be coming into town early, and should be here to enjoy this weekend with us as well. More fucking guilt! I just hope that the police get some good mug shots of me when I finally murder one of these people. I need a new image for my Facebook profile anyway ;8o)