Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The Never Ending Battle of Megalopolis - Volume 1

It was a warmish to muggy night on the streets of Megalopolis, with the fear of rain just over the horizon. This can be a rather perplexing situation for our brave young {zip it!} super villain turned super hero, as he patrols the streets in the ever lasting struggle to keep watch over the fair maidens of this great city. Of course it is after all still summer, so the fair maidens are for the most part showing their gratitude for the Caped Pervader with their short skirts and short shorts all over the place, but the weather as it is tends to bring the hem lines down a bit. On this trip into the headquarters of the diabolical Pink Mafia {PMHQ} there requires a bit more imagination to browse the landscape but as we all know boys and girls the Superdaddyman is never lacking for imagination. Especially as it pertains to the fair maidens that he watches over with his very life!

Of course it has been a lot easier lately, since summer is almost halfway over. When the bastion of all that is good in this world cruises on over to the super secret training facility {Planet Fitness} every morning, there appears to be a much higher ratio of fair maidens to unfortunate shmucks who could only wish they are the Superdaddyman, and this gets the Superdaddymotor recharged a bit earlier than usual in the day. This of course is a common phenomenon, as the fair maidens have had a month to determine that they are gaining a few as they lay at the beach, and the shmucks have decided that beer and barbeque interfere with their ability to get in a good workout. This doesn't matter much to our favorite young {sheesh, get your own blog if you want to criticize!} super hero, as his life removal surgery was a complete success years ago, and he really has nothing better to do that go to the super secret training facility and lift a weight or two while utilizing the mirrors to avoid being caught spandex gazing. Life is good if you accept what you have!

Of course this diversion aside this is about the long and arduous trek to the PMHQ {with another side trip into the scenery because that is what the Superdaddyman does} which can usually be a tedious one. Most of the common folk driving their non super vehicles and forming that long line between the Superdaddyman and the PMHQ seem to have no respect for those that are trying to keep an eye on the fair maidens. If it weren't for the keen reflexes that only a super villain turned super hero possesses, the Superdaddyman could find himself permanently attached to various automobiles tapping their brakes for no apparent reason. This doesn't even take into effect those that seem to just wander out into traffic, because as we all know, pedestrian laws will always protect you from a couple of tons of rolling steel. The Superdaddyman, despite his good nature, amazing temperament, and shockingly good reflexes finds it necessary to display his favorite finger at many of these obstacles preventing him from scoping out the fair maidens properly or get to PMHQ in a timely fashion. He is after all human albeit super at that.

As we find the Caped Pervader rolling up to the PMHQ there appears to be another treat in what would usually be a rather mundane day. The PMHQ elite {secretaries} are holding a special dinner and are beginning to file out of the headquarters. Most of them wearing their cute little business skirts {God does the Superdaddyman love those} smiling and waving to the Superdaddyman {at this point disguised as that simpering weenie Jeremy Crow} as he puffs on the only really bad habit he has left. Even in his disguise you can see how the pure animal pheromones of our brave young {damnit! Keep it to yourself k?} hero are overpowering to them. Many of them came scurrying over to make sure that Jeremy Crow was going to the PMHQ picnic in a couple of weeks. The poor confused little things tend to be taken in by the evil disguises of the evils's and even go as far as to find them “cute” or so they say in a veiled attempt to get closer to the real object of most fair maiden's desires. Of course the Superdaddyman had had absolutely no intention of going to this years PMHQ getaway, as it is being held in a place he would rather shoot acid out his butt than be seen at, so he replies, “Absolutely, wouldn't miss it for the world!”

With all of the hum drum of getting from the Casi Di Evils's to the PMHQ over with, we find our brave young {don't make me smack you!} super hero walking into the diabolical fortress for his true work of taking on the forces of evil in the name of good. It's a Monday which means that the place is completely trashed in an effort to show the Superdaddyman just how much they missed him while he was gone for a few days, and trust me he knows every time he walks in that door. His ability to speak several languages keeps him out of trouble during times like these as he can switch is innuendos and insults based on who his audience happens to be at the time. The good news in all of this is that the downpour managed to just barely hold itself off until he managed to get in the door, which would have interfered horribly with the drive into the PMHQ. Aside from the fact that the tourists drive a lot worse, the fair maidens tend to hide from the raindrops and that would have been no way to start the week, now would it? Time for the Superdaddyman to get some revenge and disguise it as work ;8o)