You can never put a price tag on depression. For those that don't comprehend the issue at hand it's simply put that, nothing is worse that having your own worst enemy living inside your head. My biggest problem is environmental variables and how they change, sometimes with my permission and sometimes without it. The end result is that when I get to that point I sit in my own shit because it is warm and comfortable, and never spend a thought on how bad it starts to smell after a while. In the end it still falls under the heading of things that are out of my control and the innate inability to simply change the things that are within my grasp because I simply want to micro manage things and pray that I can just get through the next big thing. I worry, I project, and in the end I get no closure, or at the very least I almost never get the closure that I had anticipated, and isn't that pretty much the same thing?
As I sit here I am just so completely at a loss for my sanity, and lord knows in the end it isn't anything more than that same old stupid committee meeting in my head at the grand tribal council with every intention to vote ME off the island. I should just feign ignorance but that isn't how I am made up, and realistically, my trust issues are getting the best of me. My trust issues that in the past have been watered and cultivated to the point that they look like that damn plant from Little Shop of Horrors. Who knows? The fact of the matter is that I am not half as clever as I think I am and don't think that that doesn't feed the monster under the bed as well. Of course I could throw myself into .. something? Who knows what I need to simply remove my mind from my own self loathing, but if I don't find it soon I am going to snap, and the responsibility involved with snapping just isn't an option. Perhaps I should check my schedule and see if I can pencil in a nervous breakdown for next week? ;8o)
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The Monster Under The Bed - Volume 4
This Is Me
I have been bouncing around online for just about 20 years, so I have been there and have done that. It doesn't mean I didn't like it and wouldn't do it again. As most humans, I am a social animal. To be a social animal on the internet it is social media that binds us all together. I prefer Google + and Twitter but have pages on the other ones that I ignore, so you probably should too.
I blog a lot. If you don't like people that blog a lot then I don't know how you got here to begin with. You may want to just move along.
Contrary to popular opinion I hate politics, but have political opinions ..
The easiest way to get under my skin is to apply the "all you talk about is politics" tag. This is a common knee jerk reaction some have when they see something political, and unfortunately I don't hold back sometimes. As a matter of fact, I share more about health, fitness and blogging than politics, which you would know if you weren't busy dismissing me. I actually follow and interact with more people that disagree with me than agree with me politically. The list of "other than politics" seems to be growing everyday and it probably looks a lot like this:
- Blogging (I am a blogger and I blog a lot. Get used to it.)
- Health & Fitness (Avid bodybuilder and diet guru)
- Photography (If I don't know your language now you know why I follow you)
- Android (I love Android, and wouldn't wipe my rear end with an iPhone)
- Humor (If you are funny, I am going to like you)
- Sports (Patriots and Red Sox mostly)
- Music (You'd be surprised how diverse I get here)
- Quotes (I love quotes from historical and hysterical figures)