Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Truth About Cats & Dogs - Volume 13

DISCLAIMER - This is going to be one of those types of blogs that might be slanted in a direction that some could find offensive. A thick skin would come in handy here but I realize that many have a hard time with such concepts, so I am placing this disclaimer at the beginning so that I can cover my ass, and use the art of teasing and ridicule should this be taken to heart unrealistically. As always, but more so in a case like this I would like to remind you that crying to Blogger, the thought police, Gloria Steinham, you mommy, or me will do you no good because, as I am trying to get the point across here ahead of time, I didn't give a shit when I wrote this and I will give far less of a shit after you have read past this warning. Thank you and have whatever type of fucking day you would like to ..

It was several months after my third wife left me that she came to me asking if I would take on the payments of the Ford Focus that we had purchased together, but mainly for her use. I have to tell you that by your third divorce you start having the inklings that women in general are bad news, but I have always prided myself on NOT becoming a misogynist despite my failures in the romantic arena. This is not easy, let me tell you because I have spent the last seven years enjoy the fruits of single father hood without support from the other half, and often still feeling the effects of what my past mistakes have “taken” from the relationship as opposed to given to it. This situation was no different.

The bank at the time was all to happy to switch the payments to the car from her bank account to my bank account. I diligently made the payments on yet another vehicle that I had never wanted {when you consider that she just had to have that piece of crap Kia Minivan I also own} and finally finished off the payments. My reward for all of this, is that they sent the title to her, and she promptly threw it away because it wasn't really of any concern to her. This was kinda her MO anyway as she had casually thrown me away when I was of no more use to her, and does this basically with anything else in her life. Again this comes back to my own horrible taste in women, but the real damage is my own innate need to be as responsible as I possibly can. She didn't ever have these problems when I was paying off her debt before and after the divorce, and now I am still nagging her on a near weekly basis just to get the title to the stupid car.

At one time stupid things like this wouldn't be an issue, but as it stands today, you can't get rid of a car that doesn't have a title. I often joked that I could just wait for the car to die and then take the plates off and leave it where it lay. “Well that would show her because she is the person who is the main owner on the title, right?” well you know the answer to that is WRONG. Here's where the hidden misogyny comes into it all whether I like it or not, and in reality does it make me a bad person or does it make me a student of history? We don't see, or actually admit how indoctrinated we have become to the fact that women are good and men are bad. The world treats a single mother like a martyred deity who is subject to many of the fruits of the social system, and treat a single father like he is simply “paying his dues” for the sins of all the other men on earth. Yeah I know, just saying that proves that I am a rotten person but I have SOME experience on this account.

If we go back about eight years I was a single father without custody of my three children. My ex-wife moved to Maine because the social services system there is slanted to social justice, and she probably would never have to work again as long as she held on to the kids. I was forced to pay my child support directly to the state of Maine and they would disperse TANIF and other benefits to the ex. The added benefits of a two hour drive whenever I wanted to see my children was never taken into effect and she surrendered her drivers license to make sure that THAT was one sided. During the one time I was laid off from my job I missed two child support payments and the wrath of terror came down on me. They were serious about the things they would do to me, threatening jail, loss of license, bad credit ratings, you name it, and of course within a few weeks I was gainfully employed and caught up again. In reality I never had a gripe about this because child support was a responsibility. In the last seven years I have gotten 3 child support payments, after the legal battle to get the kids away from their mother after they had all become homeless which completely stripped me of my life savings. That's fair isn't it? The average person believes that I have no right to bitch because after all I am the man. Of course this usually comes after the disbelief that as the man I should even have full custody of the children anyway. I digress.

We can take all of the wonderful times that I have had the audacity to be sick. We all know how a mommy never gets a day off, and we hang her out front on her cross, to be martyred proper. We note that a daddy is nothing more than a crybaby incapable of taking care of himself when he is sick. This is great on the single father crowd who spends the entire weekend sick, doing the grocery shopping, changing the tires on his minivan, driving the kids around to all of their important appointments, and the whole time listening to the youngest daughter tell him how he is a baby while he is sick just like all boys. Wonder where she got that from? I would be a complete and utter idiot to assume that the rule of law would apply blindly to any situation that involves a man and a woman even if it does balance itself out properly in the long run simply by the indoctrination that has been going on since I was a very small boy listening to all of my faults in an elementary school classroom ad nauseum and before I was even old enough to have any of those problems which never manifested anyway! No in reality I am not a misogynist but I am a realist.

I finally did go to the DMV last week and try to get a copy of the title, and despite the fact that my name was on the title along with hers, I am not entitled to apply for it because her name is first on it. More over I am not entitled to do anything with that title until she signs off on it, even if I have it. The credit-union knew damn well who made all of those payments when they sent the title to her, and they wash their hands of it all. Realistically this is all my fault because I trusted a woman to do the right thing as I had done all along, but with a daughter who just got her driver's license I had really hoped to give her that car, and let her insure it and get the thing off of my responsibility zone. That's not going to happen, and it is yet another God knows how much a year to place her on the insurance for it and ALL of my vehicles because I can't separate them if they are all in my name, even if they aren't because I can't get the title? See how fair this all becomes?

This of course translates awkwardly to the whole “intimate relationships” angle of my existence. I enter into absolutely NO relationship potential with anyone without being completely jaded to it. Not because I am a woman hater, but because I am a competent individual with three children that I am responsible for. Many women treat relationships by the basic credo of “I'm the woman in this relationship, so I am trustworthy by birth. Being the man you have no say in this and you are lucky to have a woman like me that accepts the fact that you have children,” which doesn't exactly fly on this end. I already admit that I am amazingly jaded, but don't take that for meaning the standard fare of indoctrination towards men, that I am stupid. As a matter of fact it was a long arduous process for me to get into the mindset that I don't need a woman to complete me {uh oh hateraid!} which despite what most women think, men suffer from even worse than women do. As a matter of fact a man is entitled to a much better life when they get over the, I'm getting older, I have too many responsibilities, who's going to want me, mentality that keeps us oppressed to the whims of women who exploit that. No I am not saying all of them do, but many of them can practically smell it on us.

All along the way, you have choices in this world of how to behave, how to think about yourself, and how to think about others. This also pertains to how you let others behave towards you. Self righteousness is a defense mechanism that I suggest for anyone that wants to get from point A to point B in this “life experiment” that God perpetrated on us all. I love it when someone treats me like I am a self righteous ass because it means that I have been given the right to go in for the kill on whatever fragility caused them to treat me like that. Usually I don't and that is because I am a good person. I congratulate myself on this. Those that push these things aren't living on planet earth anyway, and haven't a clue of what Jeremy has gone through to get to where he is, and pushed to the limit he treats the people that judge him exactly as they have begged to be treated. The ones who haven't got a clue what it was like to be a fat man with a life altering back injury, who spent many years of hard work to look like he does. The single father who fought an entire state and and a layabout to keep his children safe, all along hanging on to his job while he was dragged in and out of court. The man who lives paycheck to paycheck with no support from the other half of the DNA chain. You bet your ass I am all that, and a hell of a lot more thank you very much. The person who had to stop hating himself to learn to like himself and the people who can just tell he needs to be knocked down a notch at first glance or first inkling. It's been a long hard road and the beauty of it all is that I've only just begun, so life has taught me well enough to choose my paths with care ;8o)