Friday, April 9, 2010

Superdaddyman Takes on Oxycottontail - Part 7

Continued from earlier .. see part one here .. see part two here .. see part three here .. see part four here .. see part five here .. see part six here .... Indeed it was the very last thing that the fiendish Imtoocutus had ever wanted to see coming out of the woods. The courage, the speed, and the bravery of the one that can put any of these situations to right in a hurry. The horror was apparent on her face, as the Caped Pervader walked out of the woods, even if it was because of the five foot tall rabbit that was standing beside him. “Hello George,” the diabolical little queen stated matter of factly but of course in a more stunned than bored sort of way. The rabbit didn’t even respond and our favorite super villain turned super hero was looking a bit perplexed until the rabbit piped up at him, “Old joke, you kinda needed to read part 3 to understand it,” and he continued out of the woods and towards the dais of the queen. Of course the awe inspiring might of the Superdaddyman at his back, must have given him that amazing courage that only greatness can provide. “You realize you aren’t the real queen, and all of your manipulation abilities won’t do you a bit of good when the real queen comes back!”

Imtoocutus standing atop her dais with her scepter and tiara upon her brow didn’t look all that impressive to the Superdaddyman, but then again the multitudes of guards around her looked rather flimsy as well since they realistically were just playing cards with legs and arms. “Well now the day is complete, as I get to take care of all of my nemesis at the same time now,” she said in a mocking style voice, and gestured towards the two of them, “Seize them!”

In theory the dozens of card soldiers had superior numbers, but the Superdaddyman was too skilled and quick for all of them! Well at the very least he was quick enough to get out of Peter’s way before he went all Bunny-Fu on all of their wicked asses. For an idiot, Woodrow Wilson wasn’t that far off the reservation about human sized rabbit warriors. To the left, to the right, Peter was all mad skills all over them at the blinding speed that only those that tried to breed rabbits could truly understand. By the time Peter was done with all of them it was hardly noticed that hundreds of more had appeared and had already taken control of the Superdaddyman and was surrounding him as well. The last thing either of them remember before being knocked unconscious was the laughter coming from Imtoocutus, and Captain ADHD telling Rahm that he owed him 5 bucks.

Awakening from their unconsciousness the Superdaddyman found himself in the stockades alongside Rahm and Captain ADHD. No hero should have to go out this way, but it definitely appeared better than the predicament that Peter Rabbit found himself in tied to the headsman’s block with a man standing over him reading a proclamation. “And on this the seventh day of April two thousand and ten, we have all met here to watch the capital punishment of the nare do well Peter Rabbit, in the name of our Queen, Amen!” The crowd cheered as if they had just saw the first touchdown of the Super Bowl, and our brave young {damn you!} super hero wondered what would become of all of them.

Using his keen intellect, the Superdaddyman decided that it was time to delay, and shouted out, “And what would the crime be to which the rabbit is getting executed?” which made the crowd gasp in shock. He didn’t hear anything for a long moment before he yelled out again, “In a fair and just society we all have the right to know the charges brought against us, don’t we?”

He didn’t hear Queen Imtoocutus before she was directly in his line of sight and staring right at him with that, “I just got away with another one” grin on her face. The Superdaddyman reminds himself at this point that he will have to give a certain little girl a spanking for all of these executions later. “The charges against him are the same as the charges against all of you,” she said in a calm sort of voice and then it ramped up a bit as she proclaimed, “Because The Queen Said So, and don’t you ever mention a fair and just society again, this Superdaddyclown is a benevolent dictatorship, and even YOU can figure out who that benevolent dictator is can’t you?”

“You’ll regret all of this young lady, you mark my words,” the Superdaddyman started while Captain ADHD tried to yell over him things about telling her teachers, her principal, most of her family how evil she is, and she won’t get away with it this time. He started to continue and was having a hard time keeping her in his line of sight as she paced back and forth and his neck and hand were in the stockade, “He has a point, think of all the joy you will miss out on causing chaos at the Casa Di Evils’s without us?” and as lame as that sounded the Superdaddyman was starting to draw a blank. Could this be the end for our favorite super villain turned super hero?

Imtoocutus got back into his face again, so that all he could see was her angry face and the words that came out of her mouth, “You really are that stupid aren’t you? Can’t you see that world domination is within my reach? All I have to do is not delay this, and go on and on about all of my plans for the future of the world, and I can get away with this before something unexpected and …… OUCH!” and with that the fiendish Imtoocutus fell to her knees after a hard shot to her kidney.

“Listen you little twerp, what have I told you about taking my things out of my room!!” bellowed Lazius Boycrazius as she ripped the tiara off of her head. “I ought to kill you this time you little brat!!” and she picked her up and put her in a headlock, and started walking away with her. All you could hear out of Imtoocutus was muffled gurgling, and the card people started chanting about the “Real” queen being back.

Lazius Boycrazius kept walking towards the woods swatting away card people as they tried to grovel at her feet, “Get away from me you losers, if I get seen with any of you my Facebook and Myspace friends will all abandon me, get back .. don’t make me!” and ranting away and a whimpering Imtoocutus still under her arm she vanished out of sight, with the entire throng of card people disappearing as well.


The silence in the clearing of the Queen’s court lasted for a few minutes until the Superdaddyman turned his head as best he could to almost see the diabolical Captain ADHD off to the side of him, with a beaten half to death Rahm Emanuel next to him. His hands waggling along side of his as were the Superdaddyman’s, Captain ADHD said, “Well I don’t suppose your super dummy brain has cooked up any ideas on how we’re getting out of these stupid stockades has it?” .. to be continued