Thursday, April 22, 2010

Superdaddyman Takes on the Evil Imtoocutus - Volume 6

Just another cooler than need be day in the streets of Megalopolis, as an evil assault in “Operation Get the Daddyman” {OGD} is being perpetrated by the smallest of all the known evils's. You see boys and girls, it isn't easy protecting the world from the various terrorist plots from “The Terrorist Organization Known as the Evils's” {TOKE} and just to have the will to do so requires, a certain level of training and mental acuity, that everyone's favorite super villain turned super hero has managed to wrap around one endeavor! You see it is a daily part of the Caped Pervader's regimen to head to his super secret location {Planet Fitness} to train, not just his fine tuned physical greatness, but also his finely honed mental alertness.

Of course of all the days that the Superdaddyman really appreciates at the super secret training facility, Thursdays and Sundays are the most important to him. There are many reasons for this, but the most important of them all are the fact that it is chest and arms day. In the super hero world, this equates to better posing n the mirror, and better opportunity to work on the mental angle as the careful balance of spying out the fair maidens and showing off to himself are especially hard to balance. Thanks to superior ego abilities, the Superdaddyman swears that these are the two days when all of the fair maidens are completely enthralled with his particular brand of “physical greatness” as well. You can of course see, boys and girls how important this is to our favorite crime fighter, can't you?

Well as the Superdaddyman awakens with great vim and vigor to attack his training {and of course keep an eye on the fair maidens of Megalopolis} he ends up hearing the romp and stomp of little feet! It never ceases to amaze him how the smallest inmate at the Casa Di Evils's always seems to stomp the loudest on all of the floors, but we all digress here. This is not a good sound, as immediately the dread of “warden duties” fills the mind of the Caped Pervader and almost instantly after that withdrawls start creeping in. He quietly sits in the Superdaddycave and hopes that be being as quiet as a church mouse he can avoid the blatant responsibility that he knows will ensue. The very first foolish tap on his keyboard to update the grueling activities of a crime fighter on something the world calls a “Twitter” started an immediate stampede of chaos above him, and then the footsteps on the stairs.

“Imtoocutus is home sick with Idontwantogotoschoolitis, and I have a hair appointment,” immediately flew out of Greektradgedius Inyiddish's mouth as the door flew open. CURSES FOILED AGAIN!

Of course it wasn't THAT easy as Greektradgedius tried to come up with solutions to the whole thing that would make the Superdaddyman feel worse. She suggested that Imtoocutus could go with her and sit in the car. Boy wouldn't that just throw another nomination on the “Father of the Year” award that is practically carved out for our hero. Then there was the idea of leaving a nine year old criminal mastermind who has already faked being sick for the thirty fourth time this year alone in the Casa Di Evils's with lots of things that catch on fire. Score one for the write up in “Father's Weekly” as the Superdaddyman sets up his cross in the front yard and hangs himself on it. “No I can skip going to the gym today,” he says while thinking, “and miss the influx of miniskirts that has been coming in thanks to the warmer weather, and miss out on the only time of the day that you can actually get near any of the equipment!”

The loud stomping of sixty something pounds of evil, was still doing it's impression of the Indy 500 above the Superdaddyman's head, as Greektradgedius Inyiddish made her great escape. This prompted the Superdaddyman to use the only defense he has in the whole war against “sick” evils's. “Damnit, you are home sick, get in bed and be miserable with it!” he barked out at Imtoocutus while she was working on the refrigerator contents, watching soap operas and running around in circles around the coffee table. She gave him one of those traditional, “Do you know who you are talking to?” stares, which always makes the Superdaddyman think about getting back to writing those articles about “Why daddys should spank!”

After putting all of the food that didn't already have a bite in it back in the refrigerator, the Caped Pervader went back into the living room where Imtoocutus was already running around in circles because she had somehow forgot about being sentenced to the bedroom. She remembered all of a sudden as the Superdaddyman went to pick her up and carry her there, and like a stomping wisp of smoke she was back upstairs again. All those fair maidens being perved on by amateurs as we speak, and the super hero's union won't think twice about sending a rep to collect the dues this month regardless of how many benefits were missed out on! Again the agony of a super hero goes unsaid while the world is safer for his existence.

Of course the hair appointment turned into lunch, and then it turned into a little shopping. By the time Greektradgedius had appeared again so that the Superdaddyman could simply take a shower, it was almost time for him to fire up the troop transport {the uber sexy Superdaddyvan} and pick up the diabolical Captain ADHD. Nobody knows the woes of a super hero as he is forced to watch a sick nine year old criminal. During the simple five minutes it would take to wash his impressive physique, Imtoocutus could have had the contents of the refrigerator emptied, walls colored on with permanent marker, fires set, windows broken, at least two of the four animals shaved, computer viruses set on all of the computers in the Casa, and Joe Biden invited over for coffee! Every last one of these things justified in her mind “because I'm sick and I'm cute, and you have to love me!” which wasn't in the contract, but always seems to work on the Greektradgedius! Yeah the Greektradgedius that escaped her own monster! All of this completely dealt with while at the same time the very grounding forces that the Superdaddyman uses to escape from this reality stripped from him! Stick that in his “Father of the Year” award, tramp it down with your copy of “Father's Weekly” and smoke it! ;8o)