Saturday, January 23, 2010

Some More Reasons I Am Jeremy Crow Afterall - Volume 14

Today is just lovely. It's a balmy 40 or so out, but the sun is shining and the mountains of snow are starting to melt. I myself am sitting in a basement hoping to ride out another storm of discontent, that looms in the demilitarized zone upstairs, and hopefully make it through to my date later. Yes I schedule things to look forward to these days in hopes that it will stem off the tide of real life that often interferes with my ability to be happy on my days off, so sue me. The hard part will be getting from point A to point B in one piece, but I will do my best.

I was awake a grand total of say 15 minutes when the fun and games started. Imtoocutus came bopping down the stairs with that look of extreme content on her face, that could only mean she ruined her brother's day. Greektradgedius Inyiddish came down in a huff, meaning that she obviously assisted Imtoocutus in what was making her so elated. Captain ADHD was downstairs in his room playing video games. Greektradgedius made her point loudly that “Captain ADHD is not allowed upstairs because he is being a jerk!” and Captain ADHD started mouthing his protests downstairs. I foolishly thought I would rectify the situation {what a freaking moron huh?} by stopping them both and asking what happened?

When dealing with children under 20 and over 70 there is a certain sort of linguistic talent that you need. I happen to be fluent in both forms of “Whineybaby” through years of being immersed in it. Rosetta Stone has contacted me on several occasions to make the English to Under20brat and English to Over70brat versions of it's software, but I keep telling them that it is all in the regional dialect and hard to translate perfectly. Needless to say, Captain ADHD appeared to understand that it was a good time to just clam up and let the hole be dug in Over70brat. It went like this, “I told them both to clean the playroom and he said that he didn't have to ..”

Again my idiocy {Rosetta Stone wants me to translate English to Flamingidiot as well} interfered with my ability to let the thing blow over. I interrupted by pointing out that we had talked about this somewhere in the 6 to 7 hundred times arena, “Captain ADHD cleaned the playroom last weekend and it's Imtoocutus's turn. We had talked about this because THEY won't do it together, and I even got the Therapist to explain it to you,” and before she could argue further, I broke into my Western European dialect of Flamingidiot to say, “He took it upon himself to clean the playroom last weekend just so he would have to this weekend and it was a lot worse last weekend.”

The explanation to trump mine was “I wanted them to cooperate!” which loosely translated from Over70brat means to Under20brat, “It was my favorite's turn so I expect them both to do it,” and the plan was concocted SPECIFICALLY to stem off these situations. In theory Captain ADHD had done it the first time, and then the very first time it was Imtoocutus's turn it became a “YOU TWO” and I would be a horrible parent if I didn't defend him in this situation. I was angry that I even had to defend my position, and when she started complaining I did go strait to the Eastern European dialect of Flamingidiot by saying, “What is he supposed to think when it becomes a 'team' concept only on her days?”

Now of course she left here furious with me, with an even more excited Imtoocutus in tow because she had caused two fights. The advantage of all of this was that I was on the phone with someone who got to hear it all, and was able to confirm that I wasn't a bigger a-hole than usual and might have actually been right. That's nice for a change huh? Of course it didn't change the fact that after I got off the phone with her I got to sit and think about what kind of retribution would be taken out on me. The good news in all of this was that Lazius Boycrazius was at work, and missed a wonderful opportunity to add the older form of Under20brat speak into it all, and brand it a complete catastrophe. Oh but that was before a new wrinkle was added.

Imtoocutus came running into the house to warn me ahead of time that Greektradgedius was crying, but did let me off the hook by telling me it was over the Pharmacist. She probably did that just to ruin the guilt attack that Greektradgedius would have turned it into had I not known. Apparently her section 3 generic prescriptions that she payed 8$ for a 3 month supply was now 75$ a month for a 3 month supply, and it set her off into a huge crisis with the Pharmacist. Keeping in mind that I am trying to be sympathetic when in my mind 25$ a month doesn't sound like a tragedy for medication that keeps her alive, but I can see the fixed budget idealism. After calming her down we looked it up in her Part-D plan and she called the Insurance Company, who confirmed that it was a section 2 now, and would cost her 45$ for a three month supply. The pharmacy had messed up and they would straiten that out for her. She was still furious about it going from 8$ to 45$ and was ranting about Obama fixing all of this for her. 15$ a month for a vital heart medication that without it she probably wouldn't have long to live, but I will leave my political rantings out of this. It turned into complains about the 58$ a month she pays for the Part-D.

Now aside from the fact that she talks weekly to her family in Canada who can't even legally get the things she does unless they come to America and pay cash {which she talks about often especially as it pertains to her eyes} I managed to get her calmed down about it all again. Unfortunately I was still speaking Flamingidiot, when I tried to explain to her about the Captain ADHD situation. This was all boiled down to the same thing it always is. “He was a jerk to me all week,” which translates into “He was a jerk to me all week, I didn't do a single thing about it, let it get under my skin so that the second you woke up on your first day off I could ruin it by horribly unfairly expecting him to assist in his sisters irresponsibility, but don't worry next week I will enforce the rules to the tee when it is his turn!” Yeah Over70brat is a very “compact” language while Under20brat is a complex language. I gave up and resorted to hiding out downstairs.

Then there was the grocery shopping. I didn't do it last week because of my teeth being ripped out the day before, and I was assured that someone else would pick up the slack. This is where life at home mimics life at work. I took 2 days off last week because of the surgery, and when I got back on Monday I had 3 times as much work to do because absolutely NOBODY does my job while I am gone. In this case, it is even worse because last weekend “The Faction” went out and spent 90$ on junk food that they hid in their rooms. The family was forced to scratch food from every nook and cranny in the house for a week, and then today I had to replace EVERYTHING that had been stored in the pantry's and freezers. Two shopping carts full of groceries. The trunk and back seat full of food, and for my trouble I will get bitched at about not getting the junk food they all want, and the scraps that people wouldn't eat when I get home from work every night. Keep in mind that 99% of the reason I bitch in blogs is because I DON'T take this crap out on everyone here, and often there is someone out there that goes, “Thank God I am Not Alone!”

Back at home, Greektradgedius is nice to me now, nice to Imtoocutus, but still being nasty tempered with Captain ADHD. I admit that I went back down to my lair after putting 300$ worth of groceries away, refilling the pantry and all. This is the demilitarized zone theory, and Captain ADHD is either going to learn it, or he won't. He and I both live in the basement for a reason. Boys are the enemy in this house, and if we are down here we don't have to deal with it. If he wants to stay up in enemy territory that is his problem and I'll never be able to teach him differently on my own. Hell I've written this incredibly long boring blog with him being up there getting yelled at and demeaned the whole time. He hasn't come down here once, and I've enjoyed the peace and quiet at least. He'll either learn that or he won't, and I'll take a moment to remind him later like I always do. What he does with that information is his business, but I'm only going grey and not losing hair over it ;8o)

Hey! If you're bored take a minute to check out the redesign of my site http://jeremycrow4life.com/ .. It's starting to look pretty good!

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of Jeremy Crow} Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} Mental Rants & Political Rage {For Those That Like His Political Rantings} Mental Imagry & Random Perversion {Adult Stories .. Assume they are rated X} Itching For Coffee {Community Blog} Jeremy Crow on Twitter {For The Easily Amused} Blogaholics Anonymous {E-Mail Blogging Group}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, screw ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

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