Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Deadly Sins Therapy - Volume 14

My grandfather used to come up with some pretty good sayings. He was after all a farmer, from way up in Maine, so they tended to be a little cryptic on their best days, and far from mainstream. This one always reminds me of the truth in the world though, which is “What I know would barely fill a thimble, compared to the silo of what I don't know.” Despite my “know it all” status, I have no problem admitting that I don't know crap, but I won't admit that I know nothing. The hardest thing in the world for me is balancing my intelligence, my arrogance, and my inability to be tolerant. I know I have this fault, and the easiest way to deal with it is to ignore people that continue to be flagrantly stereotypical while swearing that you are being obsessively over judgmental. The best thing to do is walk away because nobody ever feels happy if they try to do the right thing in the face of indignation.

As I find myself doing, more and more, I take my real life experiences from the only social melting pot that I participate in {the gym} and apply them to my thinking as best I can. The gym is after all the best place to see the seven deadly sins at work with hardly any confrontation. Some of it is very humorous actually, depending on what you are looking at and how you see it afterwards. My best example is when you see a teen to early twentysomething staring at a forty year old woman with nothing but seething hatred because her figure might be the textbook definition of perfect. I could always be wrong, but I don't think they take any of the hard work that went into that perfect figure into account, and their youth might have something to do with that. A few in particular I have seen at the gym for 10 years putting in hour long workouts that would KILL ME, and beyond that I remember when a few of them had their children, and put in EXTRA work. They EARNED those bodies with the type of toil that the younger ones are probably too young to understand. On the other hand I imagine {because I know I do it} that some of these older women who get the seething looks probably look back at the younger ones and think “oh if I could just be that age again.”

My own personal faults fly into my face rapidly when I am at the gym too. Don't let me ever give the impression that I am a perfect man noticing the faults of others. I have had a few extremely tolerant people, and several intolerant ones assist me in my own evolution over the years. I actually learn from them all equally whether it is a negative or positive power of example, but I almost always learn something. The example that brought this whole topic to my thought process, happened just today, when I went to the gym with a tank top on. Seriously speaking I haven't worn a tight shirt or a tank top in many many years. Aside from my own physical image issues, and my disdain with going to the gym to “show off” I had seemingly not realized that I was the “baggy t-shirt and baggy shorts” type of gym rat. This isn't exactly a fault, but my insecurities were running rampant as a lot of people were staring at me. This isn't an ego problem, and you'll see as I explain further. I spent far too much time being insecure about the looks, and as my workout progressed I started to become angry about it. My gym mindset is completely geared to producing my own testosterone and I can get pretty “throw the machine over” intense as I do my sets, and now I am a walking Catholic sermon on the deadly sins.

This was good for me actually since because the normal gym mentality of someone like me is to work out, control my rage between sets, keep from being caught eying the scenery, properly control my tempo, get the right amount of stress on the muscles, keep from being caught eying the scenery, create the kind of pain that stresses a correct workout, keep from being caught eying the scenery, and get out of there without an injury. Today I had an extra few sets of things to control my mood, which involved insecurity, and embarrassment which I usually don't have. In the end one of the women my age {who I talk “books our kids should read” with usually} met me at the water cooler to point out to me that she was shocked to see I wasn't overweight. It opened my eyes pretty quickly that perhaps going in there prominently displaying the 30 inch waist that usually is hidden behind an Xtra-Large softball shirt, might have a lot to do with the attention. Of course I started looking around immediately to see if there were any teenage to twentysomethings I could publicly shun, for being catty, but I thing the stigmas had worn off. My bad.

I've had similar types of Invidia turned to Ignorance moments in the gym. I happened to be blessed with a very sharp tongue that is a hell of a lot quicker than my brain. In most instances it could be considered a curse, but I still think of it as a gift. One of the women in the gym that I admittedly spend too much time gawking at {dark haired goddess carrying about 10 to 15 extra pounds beyond the mainstream norm .. I love those}, and merely hope she doesn't notice me doing it was at the water cooler. Now keep in mind any time I ever saw her looking at me {through the mirrors, great pervert trick for staring without being spotted too often} she has one of the greatest looks of disgust I ever noticed on a woman that was NOT my wife. This translates into “God she HATES me” while I am busy working out and trying to not be outted as a mirror pervert. I simply made a normal snarky observation like must of us with no ability to talk to women does, “I must be running late today or you're running early” which was based on the fact that she's usually there before me. I know this could have gone horribly wrong looking back on it because it had “stalker” written all over it, but her reaction was FAR different then what I thought it would be. She immediately turned deep red and started stuttering over her words. I was so shocked I honestly don't remember what she said, but I completely understood the meaning behind it all. I also completely understand the fact that she stays about 50 feet away from me at all times now. Yeah I do that too.

I had a “What?” thrown at me before in the gym. That's the punishment you receive for not knowing when to turn away before you are busted staring at someone. The poor thing that had thrown that at me continued with her victory, “I'm half your age?” she said loudly and with the type of venom that usually would have dropped me to my knees, but I had two things going for me at the moment, and only one of them was my smart mouth. The more important of the two was that I was staring at her mother. “I have a hard time taking my eyes off your mother, but at this point I don't know which of us to apologize to her for?' Apparently I was saved by the fact that her mother didn't have any problem at all being stared at, but did remind me that she takes her wedding ring off when she works out. I still found it moderately less embarrassing. Aside from that I've only had a couple of other issues like this one in a lot of years of going to the gym.

Of course I've complained all along about people that either stand in the way of everything and “chat” or jump on equipment that you were using and refuse to give it back when you are done. This is the same type of arrogance that ruins society in general. Some are just new to it all and get over it, but many of them have been doing it for years. In the grand scheme of the world most of these people are the ones that disrupt traffic and get indignant about it, either driving too slow, or too fast, or too erratically. Many of them are the type of people that show up at your city council meetings railing against things that are near universally popular. They are the type of people that make you groan when they walk into your place of business because they will usually demand a higher level of customer service than is even rational, and loudly proclaim their dissatisfaction with any failing to accommodate an impossibility. They were the ones that banned smoking absolutely everywhere, and they probably are looking for other things to ban because they are ultimately right. Yeah I'm sure that it is just my own Invidia getting out of control when I spout off on these people but it's my blog! They can start their own blog and gripe about me any time they want ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of Jeremy Crow} Jeremy Crow on Multiply {For Community Types} Blogaholics Anonymous {E-Mail Blogging Group} Itching For Coffee {Community Blog}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, screw ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

All writings Copyright © 2009