Thursday, August 21, 2008

The Battle of Megalopolis - Volume 1

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I guess to be blunt about it, I am making a conscious effort not to play the game this time around. One would usually assume that I don’t have a choice in such matters but in all situations there is always a choice. Cases like this there aren’t exactly a right one either, but sometimes you have to walk away from what is comfortable and try something different to see what the outcome might be. Welcome to my life, and all of the wonderful drama that plays into it, but this week has been clouded by a wonderful visit by my mother {often codenamed “That Woman” in other blogs} who has been here for two days now. This is my family dynamic you see, which consists of a certain order and structure that has functioned for centuries now, and my mother is just a spoke in the wheel.

The structure is very simple, and I have explained it before, but here is a brief lowdown on it all for those that weren’t brave enough to read back. The men in my family all die before they make it to the age of 70. All the generations that I personally remember died at the age of 69 and none of them have gotten past that looking through the family tree that the Mormons were nice enough to print up for me. The women all live to be well over 100 years old aside from 2 or 3 that only made it past 90 but there were spurious circumstances in all three of those cases. They live that long because they suck the life out of the men and then after putting those in an early grave start working on the younger generation of men. This is done through the abusive use of drama, guilt, irrationality, closed mindedness, and every other stereotype that a man can use about a woman times ten. I’ve watched, and I’ve learned, and I’m planning my escape the day my youngest turns 18 {9 years and 4 days to be exact} and they will NEVER find me again.

My mother is s separate anomaly, in the fact that she will probably live forever and kill all of the men and women around her equally, and she uses a different tact. Sure she is full of drama {former Soap Opera Diva, what do you expect} and guilt, but she adds another dimension to it all in the form of being an elitist snob and a name dropper. This is the curse of the Semi-Famous, in that they have to spend a good bulk of their time trying to convince everyone that they are Actually-Famous. It grates on me rather quickly when she starts pulling people’s names out of the air, so she actually showed an ability to adapt to that situation this time around by using her dramatic skills to achieve that goal. She took my kids to Wal-Mart to search frantically for Kinks CDs so that she could get my daughter to open up the conversation when they got back with, “Grammie Do is dating one of the members of the Kinks!”

I didn’t even see it coming because I have been beaten down by 3 generations of the Greektradgedius Inyiddish, and am quite prone to being encased in drama, but I did recover quickly and get a jab in while I was still standing, “Aren’t they all horribly fat now?” which threw her off her guard and have to start denying that when she said it was Ray Davies that she was dating. Can you picture having a parent that the first thing she says to you after a year is “I’m dating Ray Davies?” I can see how I ended up marrying a woman that goes 3 months without talking to her kids, only to call so that she can tell her daughter all about her new tattoo, and never get around to letting her daughter talk. The vicious circle and cycle of the hopelessly damaged, is what you could clinically call all of us fuck ups on this end of the blue rock. There is still a rather large part of me that is wondering if Ray Davies even knows that he is dating my mother.

Well I have established that my mother is rotten, and she is only going to spend 4 days making everyone in this house miserable, as she has already made the anxiety level in this house intolerable for the two weeks leading up to this, but who is to say that the other women in this house aren’t equally as rotten? I mean, I had a bit of an epiphany about all of this today as I realized that she is simply invited into the house like a vampire to inflict the amount of misery necessary to sustain these Greek Tragedies in desperate need of suffering. I am NOT playing. In other words I have successfully avoided ALL of them the last few days and am perfectly happy to assume that when she leaves tomorrow that they will attempt to level sympathy from me for whatever reason they require and I will FUCKING IGNORE THEM THEN TOO! I could care less, because I have my own issues to deal with these days.

I relate it all to the battle of Thermopylae which was glorified in the movie 300, and rightly so actually, as it was one of the greatest last stands in the history of mankind. What doesn’t translate very well in the movie is that the Persian Empire was most definitely a very heinous set of people that met their doom because the 300 Spartans led by King Leonidas broke the spirit of the Persians. By demonstrating the Spartan will to defend itself, and inflicting such disproportionate carnage that what was left of the Persian Infantry was broken, and from the tales might have even been prepared to die. The Thespian Navy wiped out all chance for the Persians to escape, and when they pressed on they came head on with about 20,000 Spartans who made sport of what was left. It all makes a wonderful story and all, and we all had every right to root for the Spartans as they showed the evil Persians where the bear shit in the woods. What doesn’t get talked about very much is that the Spartans were most likely the second worst group of people on the planet. Their own horrible treatment of the rest of Greece through their warlike nature is also the stuff of legend.

I see it like this, as I know who the greatest evil in my life happens to be in the form of my own mother. It’s been that way since I was 2 years old and she kicked me {accidentally of course} into a table and I still have the fat lip to remind me of that encounter regardless of how sketchy the event was. The huge difference between her and the two women in this house that beat me down on a weekly basis with guilt and irresponsibility, is that she GOES AWAY, and more over she has no effect on my psychological well being in the least. She has made a wonderful thing to write about in my blogs but in all reality, I could give two shits what she says or what she does, or what she thinks about me. This is a sharp contrast to what I deal with in the eyes of the other two who she is winding up like tops at this very moment, by their own invite, and perhaps it is a better thing than what one would assume from the outside. If I could find a way to transfer my apathy onto them then I would be all set, but in the meantime, I might as well sit down here and root for the bad guy for a change ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of Jeremy Crow} Jeremy Crow on Multiply {For Community Types} Blogaholics Anonymous {E-Mail Blogging Group} Itching For Coffee {Community Blog}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, screw ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

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