Thursday, August 28, 2008

A Murder of Crows - Volume 21

This is a repost of my writings from Itching For Coffee ... Where I often post writings with other talented writers ...

It’s getting pretty old at this point, but I have to thank my ex-wife for finally forcing me to put a lot of things into perspective yesterday. She didn’t do it on purpose of course, but she did all the same, and as always forced me into a situation that I wasn’t very comfortable with. This isn’t exactly her method of operation, but with it all becoming quite old, it is also getting to the point where you just can’t cover up for her neglect anymore either. This is how it worked yesterday.

There was a phone call, and it was “that woman” who wanted to talk to her youngest daughter. It appears that she just remembered that her birthday was around now, and she figured that she should call and talk to her. Imtoocutus wasn’t exactly thrilled to talk to her, because like the oldest daughter she has learned the proper emotions that someone should have towards a mother like hers. The phone call was two days late for any proper birthday wishes, and Imtoocutus didn’t even bother to correct her on any of it. Her only intention was to get the phone out of her hands and into the hands of anyone but her. This is the way that Lazius Boycrazius would treat her mother as well, and it is simply systematic of how daughters relate to their mothers, especially if they are bad mothers. Problems start at this point as she hands the phone to Captain ADHD {a boy and incapable of ever truly comprehending how rotten his mother is .. genetics} and he takes the phone down to his bedroom to talk to her for an hour.

She filled his head with all of the shit that she always does. Told him about all the things she has at her apartment, her new snake, the bedroom she made for him, the toys she has been collecting for him, how she would love to see him but nobody will bring him out there, etc etc etc. I’ve said it enough that she is just the most evil woman on the planet, and clinical definitions of issues that only Oprah Winfrey could love doesn’t change the fact that at this point the only good thing she could do for her children is kill herself. I know it sounds pretty bad to say something like that but bear with me as I proceed further. In any regard, my son, as always gets to spend the first week of school, the week before his birthday, and the most hectic time of his father’s life, miserable and crying because his mother is a monster. I was at a total loss, and devoid of time to comprehend the proper way to deal with this. I had already gotten up 2 hours early to take my father to the doctor, and was sick as a dog from all the extra burdens this week. I decided to just lay it all out on the table for him.

The first thing I did was I sat him down and decided to just start with right and wrong. I explained to him that he is a little boy, and little boys are supposed to be taken care of by their parents. It doesn’t sink in all that great at first, so I had to elaborate, and this is where my own feelings started getting in the way. I told him about when he was living with his mother, and how I used to come and pick him up every other weekend. He remembered this so, I continued rationally. I said to him that I used to drive 5 hours to get here, 2 hours to pick him up, 2 hours to get back here, and then we spent 2 days here. I told him then that I would drive 2 hours to take him back home, 2 hours to get back here, and then 5 hours to get back to my home in New York. He comprehended that really fast actually when he said that it was 18 hours of driving every other weekend, and I said that it was MY responsibility as his parent to do that and I never gave him a hard time about it. He agreed. I then pointed out the contrast that in 6 years his mother has driven here to see him 2 or 3 times, and she can come see him every Saturday if she wants, and she only lives an hour away. If anything he at least comprehended why his sisters hate their mother.

At this point I had to be rather cunning in explaining to him that daddy has to work {and his mother doesn’t}, daddy has to organize trips to the zoo and the amusement park etc for him, his sisters and all of their friends {and his mother doesn’t} and most importantly that daddy does it because it is part of his responsibility as a parent. I added all of their sports {at two different schools} doctor’s appointments, library trips, grocery shopping, and a host of other things daddy has to do for them and himself, and then asked him if he could understand why he doesn’t have time to take them an hour each way to see their mother who won’t make the trip themselves? I absolutely hate the fact that that freak of a pathetic excuse for a mother {a fucking mother of all creatures!} forced me to have to have that talk with my son. This is the bulk of the reason that my oldest daughter can’t be trusted alone in the same room with her mother. As much as she dislikes her brother and sister, she hates her mother {really really hates her mother} because of this type of crap. I’ve had to hold her as she cried through long diatribes about how she hates her mother for doing this to her brother, and no matter what any of us do we just can’t keep her from damaging him at will.

I also had to have the talk with him about responsibility. This is not an easy talk with any child much less one that has ADHD big time, and misses his mommy. I had to ask him if he understood why he gets punished for things. In a roundabout sort of way we came to the conclusion that he is punished so he will admit what he did and then hopefully not do it again. Sometimes he scares me at how easily he just “gets it” sometimes, but he reasoned out rather quickly that his mother blames everyone else for everything. He even started saying how he wished that he could just meet with his mother at the court house like he used to, but then changed his tune when he remembered on his own that they can’t. He remembered on his own that they can’t because she couldn’t follow the rules, and then even noted that she still blames everyone else for that too. In the end of the conversation I had to head off to work, and I had a crying 9 year old boy clutched to me. This is simply more of the wonderful things that the so called “mother” of these children doesn’t have to deal with when she creates this kind of damage. Aside from the fact that she would never reduce herself to going to a job either, she wouldn’t take something like this head on and would simply assign names to blame.

Needless to say I had the wonderful job of filling out an inch thick stack of paperwork for all of my kid’s schools last night after work. These things seem trivial but they grate on me. I do all the hard work, get no support whatsoever {financial or emotional} from their mother, and as always I just hang myself on the cross out front in an attempt to be above all of that. She sweeps in every few months and damages her son, and for what? Her desperate need to control all of these scenarios has forced me to treat her like an enemy combatant, and I would be an idiot if I didn’t. You really need to think about it all to truly grasp the situation as it stands. Mother’s are supposed to be the one person in the world that loves you and cares for you above all other things. This mother won’t even visit her kids because she has to have them in her world. In her dangerous, irresponsible, state certified unsafe, world of despair, misery and much much worse, and if she doesn’t get it then she will completely destroy her only son to get it. Most people can’t even comprehend doing this, and there is a reason for it! It is below the level of “normal evil” that the average person can even comprehend. It will take an army of Oprah Winfrey’s to convince me of anything different ;8o)


  1. 1. Your ex-wife is truly evil, a jerk, irresponsible, and probably some other stuff as well. I feel for you, for the kids, and for Cap't adhd who doesn't have a good handle on this yet.

    2. "He remembered on his own that they can’t because she couldn’t follow the rules, and then even noted that she still blames everyone else for that too."

    This is amazing insight for any 9 year old. I really hope that he is able to/will be able to follow rules as best he can so as to avoid real shit and also that he does not blame everyone else like his bio-mother does.

    You may not want a love life, and you may not believe a love life is possible. Quite frankly, I hope you meet a nice woman who doesn't play games and who can be there for your kids.

    Meanwhile, I suppose you will have to continue to be mother and father to your brood.


  2. I dont think were getting both sides of the story here now are we >mr crow???????

  3. Actually the other side of the story doesn't matter. It's gotten old :)