Thursday, July 31, 2008

A Day in the Life of a Wounded Crow - Volume 9

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It was killing me to fight my way through my deadlines this week, as the searing pain in my shoulder has made it difficult to type. Of course this hasn’t stopped me from fighting my way through writing this, but my inability to take care of myself properly adds to my charm. I have something that a doctor would call a “region six pull of my trapezes major” but more commonly referred to by football players as a “stinger.” It’s not actually my shoulder that hurts but it is where I feel the pain, and it is actually caused by sleeping wrong on my neck. It’s really sad because I don’t even have some sort of heroic story involving small children and family pets being dragged from burning buildings to explain my limp arm. Yep, that’s me. Get in the best shape I have been in, in many years and then walk around like an invalid because I slept wrong.

I used to do this a lot back in the married years, believe it or not and as the pain is absolutely killing me these days it has forced me to admit that The Mother of all the Evils’s actually did have something good about her. She was able to pinpoint the source of the “stinger” and usually force it out in about 5 minutes. Of course then I would go off to work and she would fuck all the neighbors, so I never found it to be that great of a trade off, but then again I have never been in this much pain from it either. If I could locate her these days I might go ask her to fix it since she’s still fucking all the neighbors anyway. In the end my youngest daughter had the time of her life yesterday as I had her stand behind me and locate the “stinger” and then spend about 20 minutes punching it until my arm started moving again. What is it with little girls that makes the concept of punching their father like a trip to Disney World? She practically wrote a blog about it after she called all of her friends to tell them. I get the feeling that the next PTA meeting is going to suck when the other fathers in town come and confront me about why their daughters keep punching them now.

I have found that biting off more than I can chew in the writing department these days doesn’t help the shoulder, but it sure as hell has renewed my ability to crank it out. After I started writing “The Chosen Ones” with what little time I had, my mind opened up better to continue adding to “The Slammer.” With that when I started writing “Fear of the Dark” it started opening up that massive writing block I had for the “Twins of Kane” and somehow that started making the corny sports and political articles come out. There was a time when I was worried that I would never be able to write anything but right wing rantings, and in the end the political process took care of that. Could there have ever been a worse set of political politics to follow in the history of America? I mean seriously, Franklin Peirce is rolling over in his grave and moaning “No Mas Senior!” We have officially gotten to a point in American politics where both sides are completely dedicated to voting against the other side, and not for the candidate themselves. Don’t even think to blame Bush for that, but blame yourself and the idiot standing next to you, and that includes me as well. This may be the first election for President I will write myself in. I have done that in local elections, and once in a great while in state elections, but have never done it for president before. Jeremy Crow in 08’ .. You could do worse.

On that note, God smiled on me again. I was starting to get behind on my bills. It happens to us poor people from time to time, especially when things like gas and food keep going up, but as I have managed to do over the last couple of years, I relied on my credit cards. Like what has usually happened over the same last few years, something would “happen” to fix that as long as I don’t “depend” on it. Sometimes it would be a circulation bonus inside my mouse fart {which is nothing to sneeze at because a circulation bonus can most times be like 600 bucks dropped in your lap}, or other times it could be an IRS rebate check {thanks George}, or in many cases {like this one} it could be a company profit sharing check. I have mixed feelings on this one actually, but I did need the 500 bucks. I felt sorry for the GM of the company who had to come in at 11pm to explain to everyone on the crew what a “profit” check is. You get a share of the profits when there is a share of the profits to be had. Our business has been through the roof, and we have been working a lot harder than usual so most of the chowder heads that I work with have been crabby because they didn’t get “their profit check” last quarter. I tried to explain to a few of them that in an asphalt plant {which we work in} all raw materials {flux, rubber etc} are made from fossil fuels and the price on all of those things tripled, so the company is ok, but there are no profits. Let’s just say I work with deaf inbreds and they are never going to get it. The president of the company decided to give everyone a flat 500 dollar bonus for all their hard work, and they all complained. I need the 500 buck but part of me was screaming “fuck them, and let them learn about the real world the hard way.” At least they have jobs these days, and you get paid hourly to do the job. What do I know?

On the love life front; I don’t have one, and that appears to be ok. I think I have fallen into my comfort zone again, where I don’t have to force myself into anything that would in the end become a hassle. I know that probably sounds really bad, but it isn’t. I have {on occasion} come to grips with my limitations, and the most agonizing realization of my limitations is the fact that I am not capable of having a relationship. My responsibilities to my kids, as much as I hate having them are what they are. I haven’t the resources or the facilities to maintain even a sick relationship, much less a healthy one. I know quite a few people were put off by the way my last “dating” scenario ended, but I wasn’t that damaged by it because taken at face value it was completely correct. I either end up in situations that I can’t maintain because I can’t afford them, or I end up in situations that I can’t maintain because I haven’t got the time the other person in the scenario requires. It isn’t completely my fault but it definitely isn’t the fault of the innocent {sometimes} victims that I take hostage {date} either. As I always say, “Life isn’t so bad when you get used to it,” and apparently I am back to being used to it ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of Jeremy Crow} Jeremy Crow on Multiply {For Community Types} Blogaholics Anonymous {E-Mail Blogging Group} Itching For Coffee {Community Blog}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, screw ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

All writings Copyright © 2008