Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Some More Reasons I Am Jeremy Crow After All - Volume 11

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No good deed goes unpunished after all, so I wasn’t too surprised when the owner of the cat came looking for it. It was a bit of an emotional struggle as to whether or not I would give the cat back or not as the person was quite obviously a loser, and the fact that his girlfriend hadn’t even noticed that she left it in a parking lot was a bit dubious. All the same I ended up handing the cleaned, brushed out, taken to the vet, given to my kids, cat over to the idiot, and he was nice enough to offer me a kitten. Great! I refused of course because quite frankly I had had enough personal involvement with this particular inbred faction of southern New Hampshire. Now of course it can’t end there as I had to promise my son that we would go to the animal shelter on Monday and find him another cat. It seemed like a good idea and I went back to work to hand the cat back over.

The next morning I was woken up by my kids who had spent the entire morning driving to hell and back with my aunt {the cat killer} looking at pure bred cats from every breeder within 100 miles. They all had picked out the ones that they wanted {Maine Coon Cats at about 400$ a whack} and were waking me up early so that we could go get one, maybe two. My mind was racing as I had faint memories of a loser Aussie Sheppard {the thing would cower at your feet and refuse to move whenever you carried something heavy, and then peed when you kicked it out of your way} that she had taken my ex wife out to get many years ago. To be honest with you I loved her and all but I was happy when she left me and took that fucking dog with her. That was done completely against my wishes and started the war in the house between Greektradgedius Inyiddish and EX3 that went on for months until I gave up on both of them. My aunt played innocent after that ordeal as well.

Now aside from the fact that I have had to bury so many of this woman’s animals {all pure bred, all needing drugs from the inbreeding that killed them young} I have had it up to my eyeballs with her taste in animals and her interfering with the controlled chaos that is my life. Everyone was forced to have a sit down {too early if you ask me for my temper to be under control} so that I could explain how things are ACTUALLY going to work around here. Then I compromised because I have never actually had any control over how things are going to work around here, but it was a lot easier when I explained the amount of money I was going to pay for a new cat, and convinced the kids that their aunt would pay for their Coon cats, and even suggested they get 3! It was amazing how easily everyone was willing to compromise after that, and I at least agreed to go to the animal shelter and get a cat that day.

The oldest was at work by this time so I just had the two little ones with me, and the half hour drive to the animal shelter allowed me some time to explain moral issues as it pertains to pets. I explained to them that human beings are actually very shallow people and it is our responsibility to overcome that. I didn’t go into the whole boring lectures about how “cat breeders” sell you inbred and inferior cats that probably shouldn’t have been born in the first place, but took a more healthy approach explaining to them about how you need to take the animals that really need a home. They seemed to understand their civic duty to grab an older cat, as opposed to a kitten, and try to choose the ones that aren’t auditioning. By convincing the kids that the cats auditioning for a home would be gone within a few days, they seemed to get into looking for the mellow cats that probably wouldn’t get adopted if it weren’t for us, and took a little more pride in the affair.

The lesson was really easy to demonstrate as the cats and kittens that were all full of energy by the door were getting scooped up by other people the second we let go of them. In the end we managed to get to the back of the room with the cages, and found a very sweet natured cat that wasn’t too full of energy, but seemed interested. Her name was Duchess and she was a very long haired 8 year old female. You could feel the bones through her fur, but despite her obvious starvation over the years she didn’t get angry about being bothered while she ate. This is a very good sign of a cats temperament, and more over she seemed to be perfectly happy to forgo food to get attention, which I think sold her to us almost immediately. I filled out the adoption paperwork, paid the 60 dollars for the cat, 15 dollars for the transponder, and another 12 dollars for a “getting started” kit so that Captain ADHD would be all set with his new cat. Oh then another 22 dollars for the bounce charge on my checking account because I hadn’t paid attention to my budget. Oh well.

The cat actually happens to be better than we thought. She’s overly affectionate, and will follow you around all hours of the day and night demanding to be played with. My son has taken to standing by the food dish so that she will eat, because she doesn’t really like to be alone too much. I tried all the tricks to annoy her into leaving me alone and not a single one seems to work. I have petted her rough, and against the grain of her fur, and she loves it. We all have started picking her up and carrying her around, and she adores that too. You can wake her up, and she acts like you are doing her a favor, because she had forgotten to play. She is still having a hard time jumping up on the beds because of her weakened body, but we set op series of stairways using the Staples boxes I keep bringing home from work obsessively, and she gets the concept. If you were to drive by my house today you would see her perched in her favorite window in the basement where the Captain and I live. It takes ten Staples boxes to make that stairway for her, but she seems to appreciate it, even when it’s raining. Of course I think she knows that wet fur means a half hour of brushing out from the kids ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of Jeremy Crow} Jeremy Crow on Multiply {For Community Types} Blogaholics Anonymous {E-Mail Blogging Group} Itching For Coffee {Community Blog}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, screw ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

All writings Copyright © 2008