Monday, May 19, 2008

Things You Learn When You Tune Out The Noise - Volume 5

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Well I have been reading the usual tirade of whining that follows the latest service pack to the OLD version of Microsoft Windows operating system, and as usual found it amusing. I also found it to be the perfect time for me to say some horribly mean things about large quantities of people with no regard for feelings or emotions involved with doing so. It is after all one of my favorite hobbies and I can’t always point my fingers at Macintosh users. There really aren’t enough of them to begin with, and most of them don’t read anything that isn’t approved by their indoctrination tool of choice, so sometimes I have to go after the “other” computer users out there.

This one actually is a hoot, to be honest with you, because it involves another company that I love to trash whenever I have the opportunity, and that would be my friends at Hewlett Packard. Now I can’t insinuate that everyone that owns a Hewlett Packard computer is an idiot because I happen to own many of them, but I can say that those that use them out of the box might be a bit brain damaged. Four of the computers in this house actually are Compaq computers, and I purchased them all for the exact same reason, which is price. In reality they are horribly overpriced considering that they use sub standard equipment and are so loaded with spyware that I can’t recommend them to anyone, but if you are like me, and have access to certain resources, then they can be a steal.

The trick with Hewlett Packard’s is to first understand what they are {functionally useless out of the box}, what they are truly worth {a HELL of a lot less then what they are released at}, and are willing to shop at Wal-Mart {they are after all a big conglomerate, out to screw the little guy by charging better prices yanno?}. The translation for all of this is, the computer can NOT be sustained using Hewlett Packard’s preloaded software, you can’t run out and buy the newest one, and you have to wait 6 months for Wal-Mart to realize that the computer won’t sell, and mark it down to cost. All 4 of the Hewlett Packard’s in the house were bought new for under 300$ and all but 2 were brought into the house and immediately formatted, one was simply cleaned out of it’s software except for Windows XP, and the other was whipped of all of it’s software except for Windows Vista.

Ok now with all of that behind us let’s talk about the newest round of whiney little bitches cluttering the internet with their “holier than thou” reports of XP Service Pack 3 failings. For the most part it is a typical shmoz perpetrated on everyone by Hewlett Packard, with the aid of their “useful idiots” in the “look at me I am so smart” faction of cyberspace. It appears that {and I have seen it on one of the computers here} that if you load service pack 3 on a Hewlett Packard computer it “could” go into an infinite loop of rebooting which is very annoying I can imagine. Hewlett Packard can’t come right out and tell you what the problem really is and they are holding Microsoft hostage by its “preferred partner” status, since it buys so many copies of Windows software licenses a year. I am not beholden to either of them so I will tell you that it is simply one of Hewlett Packard’s own “exploits” that they built into your computer, and Service Pack 3’s security enhancement fixes it. The Hewlett Packard engineered version of Windows Boot gets pissed off about it and reboots until you put its marketing exploit back in there.

I read all of the stories talking about how it has to do with the AMD processor and Windows XP, and a myriad of other excuses, that don’t add up in my scenario. I have two HP computers running Windows XP and have AMD processors that worked flawlessly the second I installed Service Pack 3. The only difference between them and the other two is that they were formatted and a clean copy of Windows XP {that was never touched by an HP technician} was installed instead. I wouldn’t have even put two and two together if it weren’t for my own knowledge that 99 percent of Windows failures {dating back to version 3.1} are caused by compatibility issues, and Microsoft has spent billions of dollars over the years doing anything they possibly can to correct these things. We’ve all been blindsided by every self proclaimed genius complaining about it all forever now, so most of the time people just go along with the flow. Windows wouldn’t have gotten to be such a kludge over the years if software and hardware vendors were simply forced to conform with the platform, but on the other side of the coin, that would make it a Macintosh, and worthless every other year.

It gets to me when I am forced to be a free tech support guy for people that call me friend when they need something. The obvious answer to a lot of the problems that I get from people is UPGRADE. This happens with everything from Incredimail, to Paint Shop Pro, to Windows, to even the antique that they are calling a computer. I tell people to put 10 dollars in the bank each week, and call it the “computer fund” so that they can buy a new Acer each year, and never have to worry about the “old and slow” compatibility issues that they have. I tell my friends that are using a 2 year old copy of Incredimail that somewhere along the 75 free upgrades they have offered since then, there probably was something changed in the compatibility, and they always go on a rant about how “such and such” told them that the upgrades were crap. You can’t convince them that companies stop producing revenue if their upgrades go down hill with each and every incarnation, and that applies with Windows too. I personally love Windows Vista, and have from the moment I looked at it.

Now for the bad news about Windows upgrades, which will take a bit of self exploration for some to accept it, but after Bill Clinton taught everyone that anyone with more money than they had stole it, Microsoft has been beholden to everyone. Those nasty “government funded” lawsuits to try to take Microsoft’s money away from them has forced the company to bend to the lowest common denominator at every turn. I personally do believe that everyone on earth deserves to own a computer and I hope that they all find some sort of joy or productivity out of the thing. I don’t happen to believe that everyone is entitled to be protected from themselves at the expense of everyone else. If someone is far too stupid to use a computer then they are far too stupid to use a computer. All of the security fixes that Microsoft installs into its operating systems so that a million nitwits won’t file a class action lawsuit because they refuse to learn about anti-virus, and purchase the best one before they surf the internet is a bummer, but it is what it is. The biggest problem with Vista that I can find is that it is far too secure, and requires a lot of software upgrades to do what XP used to. It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t do it better when you invest a bit of time and effort.

The Macintosh commercials slay me when they point out how a person who is too stupid and lazy to figure out Windows Vista goes back to XP, and in their opinion should try a Macintosh. I mean let’s get real here, but if someone is too stupid and lazy to get the XP to Vista jump, then Macintosh is betting all of their money that they will be too ashamed to admit that the XP to Leopard jump is like trying to figure out Latin. I mean why not try the XP to GNOME jump for free and skip the OS that stole all of its code from it? It still comes down to what people have been told and what they heard to begin with. I happen to follow my own lead, and get from point A to point B by the most direct route. Bucking the norm doesn’t always mean that you follow a different route than everyone else, and sometimes it means that you follow the same route, but simply learn to do it your own way ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of Jeremy Crow} Jeremy Crow on Multiply {For Community Types} Blogaholics Anonymous {E-Mail Blogging Group} Itching For Coffee {Community Blog}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, screw ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

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