Monday, April 28, 2008

Superdaddyman Takes on Captain ADHD - Volume 7

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It takes the heart of a tyrant to run a prison camp in the best of circumstances. The Casa Di Evils’s networking kingdom had gotten so out of hand over the last few months that the Superdaddyman was left with no other choice than to go to the source. Sitting downstairs from him at this very moment is the most diabolical criminal mastermind of this generation, and he has to be stopped at all costs. He can pull out the “cute” card at will and render most super heroes completely helpless in the blink of an eye, but this is no ordinary super hero he is dealing with. That malware infested, network killing, shortcuts to fill the screen, slow as molasses running up a tree, pitiful excuse for a PC that sits in his internment cell needs to be dealt with swiftly, and all of the whining of “But I like those Wild Tangent Games,” and “What about my high scores?” will save him no more! The Superdaddyman is armed with a Windows XP CD and he knows how to use it!

Now it takes stealth for any super hero to take on such a mission, so our favorite super hero {being of cunning mind} staged the first task of “Operation Diversion” by setting up an awe inspiring tool {Xbox} in another room, and then gluing {turning it on} Captain ADHD to it! Supplying the indoctrination tool with many covert add-ons {disks} so as to make sure that he is enthralled for the necessary 2 hours it will take to get the quest completed, the Superdaddyman then starts the tasks. Opening up the machine {and coughing up all of the fur balls that immediately escaped} he then added memory from his box of recycled parts. This diversion tactic is used after the Captain realizes that his entire life has been wiped clean. The Superdaddyman will immediately run phase two of “Operation Diversion” by pointing out to Captain ADHD that he has twice the memory and can destroy the world twice as fast. This tactic has worked on the other two evils’s with amazing ease when they pulled out the “temper tantrum” from their bag of tricks after such maneuvers.

The computer being a Hewlett Packard was furious over the sudden emotionless format that was being perpetrated upon it. The 7000 pieces of spyware that Hewlett Packard puts on your computer from the beginning is guarded by its own bios to make sure that people like the Superdaddyman don’t steal away its own profit engineering adventures. Knowing full well that reinstalling the disks that came with the hunk of crap will simply re-create the problems and worse {adding the virus known as Norton Anti-Virus to the issues as well} the Superdaddyman used a different XP installation disk. This one had been accidentally {of course} stripped of any of its miserable time wasting habits as well, like registration, and the need to input serials etc. It will be a clean copy after all is finished, and the added bonus of Captain ADHD being confined to quarters while he desperately scours the internet for all of the tools of his trade again is icing on the cake.

After removing all of the Hewlett Packard partitions for this, and partitions for that you could almost hear the computer scrubbing all of the dirt off of the hard disk during its format procedure. At that point Hewlett Packard is losing the battle, but you never know what evil lurks in the heart of bios. The restart should be an interesting conundrum to say the least. We’ve been down this road before as the other two evils’s both own reengineered Hewlett Packard’s as well. Technically they are Compaq’s but we all know the only thing different is the box they come in. These are what the Superdaddyman always acquires for the evils’s when their old ones die, since you can hit the local Wal-Mart at 5am during the Christmas sales and get them for under 300 bucks, and then reengineer them when they get crappy. Of course this one here came in the actual Hewlett Packard box so it could have some extra security in place to keep super villains turned super hero from stealing their spyware revenue purely out of pride!

The look on Captain ADHD’s face was priceless at the time of reckoning when he saw that his screen was clean and green, 5 Icons and a start menu that could be displayed in one row, instead of the 4 rows that it had before. Immediately he started protesting the decision to wipe his computer of all of his malicious little friends that were desperately trying to install themselves on the other computers in the Casa. Usually after they were rebuked the malicious little friends would resort to plan 2 and kill his connection to the internet {in an attempt to drive the Superdaddyman mental} forcing the Captain to launch into the Superdaddyman’s room while he tries to sleep complaining about not being able to play his “games.” Pre-programming the firewall to block the major spyware game downloading sites from the start should keep his computer spyware free for days, perhaps … ok maybe hours … Oh hell I bet if the Superdaddyman was smarter he would go downstairs and see that the computer is already back to the way it was. Ignorance is bliss ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of Jeremy Crow} Jeremy Crow on Multiply {For Community Types} Blogaholics Anonymous {E-Mail Blogging Group} Itching For Coffee {Community Blog}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, screw ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

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