Saturday, March 8, 2008

Superdaddyman Takes on the Evil Imtoocutus - Volume 5

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It was a cold and rainy Saturday at the Casa Di Evils’s which eliminated the “Operation Get the Fuck Outside” {OGFO} that everyone’s favorite super villain turned super hero, had hoped to be his saving grace. Now aside from the 30 Hour Famine that Lazius Boycrazius had pledged to go on {she has a crush on the 23 year old Pastor of the church}, and the festivities that Captain ADHD had been committed to {something called a “Spiderwick Chronicals” with his evil accomplices} it was still up to the Caped Pervader to entertain the smaller of 3 evils’s, Imtoocutus! Even when faced with one on one interaction with fiends, it is a never ending battle between evil and less evil around Megalopolis, and the Superdaddyman does not get sick days from this!

Now this isn’t just any super hero we are talking about, but arguably the greatest super hero known to mankind {after blocking those Spiderman a-holes from the pages of Mental Notes anyway}, so the plan was put into action from the moment the biological alarm clock started going off this morning. It sounds a lot like “Daddy, are you awake yet?” and it doesn’t seem to shut off until about 45 minutes after his half naked ass poured coffee for both of them. Hey, mind your own business, she’s tall enough already! During the complete recap of everything she had been doing over the last 4 or 5 weeks, twice, the Superdaddyman was able to think up a few, in the house activities that would hopefully keep her occupied and perhaps {with a little luck} continue to do so for weeks to come. It isn’t easy to be able to concoct these plots without incorporating the three major factors that matter to her {annoying people, driving people nuts, and annoying people until they go nuts}, while at the same time satisfying the three fruitless goals that the Superdaddyman strives for {getting her out of his hair, hiding, and keeping the other two out of his hair too} as well.

Well the Superdaddyman might be unrealistic at times, but he isn’t completely stupid, so he decided to incorporate a bit of what he used to keep her occupied {and at the time had hoped would bore her to tears and force her to go away .. yeah right} from the week before, and build upon it. He chose of course to take the perfectly set up network {Captain ADHD’s PC, Lazius Boycrazius’s Laptop, Imtoocutus’s PC, The Superdaddyman’s PC and Greektradgedius Inyiddish’s PC} and install a homemade mail server into it all. This would be time consuming, complicated, and would give her a way to drive others crazy with inane “in house” emails, instead of walking from room to room and creating fights. Like the Superdaddyman always says, “Why go half assed when you can be a whole ass like the Superdaddyman!” Immediately we started setting up the Linux Server that we had made out of all the spare parts to be an SMTP server, and then installed Outlook on every one of the computers in the network. Hey, maybe it’s EXACTLY what a 7 year old wants to do on a Saturday! Maybe you all should try it!

The server was set up rather quickly, and easily {Suse Linux 10.3 rules guys!} and after showing the diabolical assistant how to set up Outlook on her own computer, she was off and running to install it on everyone else’s computers while the Superdaddyman linked the SMTP into the domain. Within 30 minutes an e-mail had hit the Superdaddyman’s desktop … “Whatcha doing? … Signed Imtoocutus” which the Superdaddyman smiled and replied, “Setting up the domain … Signed Superdaddyman” and he was back to trying to reconfigure the Apache Scripts. A few minutes later an e-mail popped up in front of him again “Why? … signed Imtoocutus” and the Superdaddyman replied, “To keep the bad people out … Signed Superdaddyman” and back he went to the scripts. A few minutes later an e-mail popped in “What bad people? … Signed Imtoocutus” which prompted the Superdaddyman to realize that he had already given the bad people access! 30 messages and 2 hours later the Superdaddyman was able to get the final 15 minutes of work done anyway. Selective ignorance, serenity now!

Now an e-mail pops up “I’m done with the other computers, and I made a Myspace page … Signed Imtoocutus” which inspires the response, “You know you are not allowed on Myspace, how did you get onto it, and what is the address? … Signed Superdaddyman” to which she doesn’t respond. Email hits the desktop from the church pastor “Am I Hypo Glycemic {damnit Glycemic doesn’t come up on spell check}? … Signed Lazius Boycrazius” to which the reply of “No, why? … signed Superdaddyman” and back we are on configuring the router gateway so that it is bidirectional.

An e-mail comes in and the Superdaddyman is expecting it to be from Lazius Boycrazius and it is really from Imtoocutus now revealing the address of her new Myspace page and explaining how she used Lazius Boycrazius’s laptop to make it. Off to the Myspace page to see what she had done. The Superdaddyman’s mouth dropped when he saw the picture of Captain ADHD with a big red line going through his face and a big red circle around him. “The Society for the Prevention of Stupidheads” is the name of the Myspace page, and there were many pictures of cat’s saying ignorant things like “Meh Thinks Dis Noob Es Stupidhead Eh?” Email is sent denouncing the Myspace page and ordering it’s removal, and then the Superdaddyman was forced to sit and ponder where she would have gotten ideas like this from? Shup all of you!

Email pops up “The other kids are telling the Pastor that they are Hypo Glycemic {how do you spell that anyway??} and they are allowed to eat every hour while the rest of us are starving! … Signed Lazius Boycrazius” the following e-mail went out along these lines, “Remember how I told you that you shouldn’t lie because you are really bad at it and always get caught? Do you see the difference now between you and people that are good at it? … Signed Superdaddyman” Then the Superdaddyman was off to dismember the Myspace page that Imtoocutus had created. He is fortunate that she takes after Lazius Boycrazius in this regards. Diabolical and evil as she is, she is also dumb as a dog that eats its own feces. She used the same login and password that the Superdaddyman had set up for her e-mail on the new server. He then made a mental note to add Captain ADHD style security measures to her own computer when she is at Casa Di West {school} on Monday.

It was finally time to fire up the Superdaddymobile and acquire Captain ADHD from his cohort’s house on the other side of Megalopolis. On the return journey he was explaining to the diabolical leader of TOKE {The Terrorist Organization Known as the Evils’s} about the new e-mail server that we had set up and how we had internal household e-mail {and a Jabber server too, but I was going to let him help me with that tomorrow}, and he groaned. “You let her on my computer?!?!” which put in that context really did sound less than brilliant. The Superdaddyman assured him that it would all be well and good, and besides, there is nothing that she can do that he can’t fix. He agreed with the last statement purely out of ego, and because it usually is right. Yeah Yeah, I know I know.

Sitting back at the Superdaddyman Control Center {SCC} our hero sits down and lights a menthol flavored “don’t kill the evils’s” stick, and watching Top Chef {shup!} while disposing of the 100 e-mails from Imtoocutus and the one e-mail from Lazius Boycrazius saying “Ha Ha” before an e-mail pops up yet again from someone called “Stupidhead” that reads “Brilliant idea, I might have to miss church tomorrow because Imtoocutus has left me 400 e-mails, and she changed my computer theme over to Barbi Cinderella! … Signed Captain ADHD” … Oh well, better luck, next weekend ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of J~ Crow}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, screw ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

All writings Copyright © 2008