Thursday, January 24, 2008

A Day in the Life of a Wounded Crow - Volume 7

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well i am trying something new here by writing my blog today on a cell phone. i am horribly sick and got all of my work done ahead of time and decided to kill the last hour killing time in my utility closet. its quite comfortable actually because i have this old box of rags that i have crumpled in so that it has the feel of an easy chair. listening to harry potter on my ipod and typing this out on my palm centro cell phone on a program called data viz seems like a decent trade off to sitting at home with an old man skulking behind me anyway. this is how this week is going anyway.

unfortunately it isnt exactly easy to be me. both of you who read my rantings last week know that my evil mother was here and it pissed me off knowing that it would ruin the week before my father was here. this of course is the week that my father is here (damn i type really fast with one thumb .. what a loser!) and that is a different type of "oh shit" to deal with. he has the mental capacity of an 8 year old with the reflexes of a 70 year old and i have spent all of that time i used to sleep driving his ass to doctors appointments so that they can yell at him for ignoring thier orders. what a fucking treat!

damn this kills the shit out of the phone battery but the good news is that it might cure my long-winded-ness (this time) but i think i can do this. the doctor today accused him of not taking his pills and of course i believed that he hadn’t but didn’t feel like arguing with him. the truth of the matter might actually be more amusing as the doctor said to his diet could disrupt it as she had told him. he assured her that his diet had been good all last week and then explained how he had eaten a huge bowl of collard greens every night.

this is where it gets a bit foggy as i had tried to let the doctor explain it to him. we all knew that large doses of vitamin k interfere with blood thinners and she did her best to explain it to him. he looked at her pidly and then asked "well how am i supposed to know that collard greens have too much vitamin k?"

the doctor looked at him pretty much ready to accept this casual mistake and i saw the weakness that he had exploited. i blurted out "because you were a botany teacher for 40 fucking years maybe?" and then followed it with my usual "i give up" sigh. i mean if a certified horticulturalist is allowed to blame "scatterbrained" for not knowing why they are getting too much of some vitamin then what chance do i have? chalk it up to schools and doctors giving me no help with my 4 brain dead children. ugh!

Ok back on the desktop where I can use spell check and capital letters. The phone does a decent job making Word Documents but I haven’t figured out how to capitalize yet. Now where was I? Oh yeah, my father. His fly by will last exactly one week this time. He tried to escape quicker, but the plane tickets for Friday would have cost an extra 60$ over plane tickets on Saturday. This will give him an extra day to really sink the smell of that pipe into the walls of my bedroom. My back isn’t going to make it through this round of sleeping on the couch, I can already tell as every stretch I make has rather dire consequences. He will be forced to sit here an extra 3 days on the other end when he comes back in February. He wanted to show up on Sunday and then have me transport him to all of his doctor’s appointments starting the day after but the plane tickets for that day {being a holiday weekend} were all in the upper 300’s. This means that I will have to get up about 3 hours early and pick him up the Wednesday before that. Why do I put myself through all of this? Is it my sense of duty? Is it the inheritance? Is it the chronic brain stress that all the drinking and attempted suicides left behind? Well actually I think it is a lot easier than that really. I have a lot of ground to cover if I am going to con God into letting me into heaven. This should be the ticket before it is all over ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of J~ Crow}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, screw ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

All writings Copyright © 2008