Friday, December 21, 2007

The Jeremy Crow Christmas Countdown 2007: #5

This year wasn’t any different than the last few as I started receiving the phone calls this week asking about if the kids could spend Christmas with their mother’s family. The first call was from The Mother of all the Evils’s {TME} herself which was not very welcomed whatsoever. I think there should be some background on this though, as it has been chronicled over years it might have been distorted a bit and should be refreshed. First and foremost should be brought to everyone’s attention {especially the 300 or so idiots that I have to deal with on THIS side of the computer} that the rules have been the same for 5 years now. They get them on Thanksgiving, and I get them on Christmas … PERIOD! It should also be noted that through stupidity, neglect, selfishness, and lack of learning through any of it, I don’t have to let the kids go anywhere at any time. She completely lost any and all custody 5 years ago, and the evidence over THAT 5 years could get her emancipated outright.

Here’s the big problem though in all of this which causes me to rant often, in the fact that MY family is no better than hers in a lot of respects, and in a few far worse. TME’s mother called me a while after I had hung up on TME and wanted to make sure that I wasn’t angry at them. I actually wasn’t but often wish that they would try harder to encourage their daughter to smarten up, or get her locked up in a mental hospital, but I really do try to understand what they have to deal with as well. Her mother did point out to me that she tried to tell that end of the family that I wasn’t going to let the kids go and that they had Thanksgiving, so that is where I have to say that my family is far worse. My family on the other end had planned for the kids to be here for Thanksgiving {100% behind my back} and then had the audacity to flip out on me when I told THEM NO. It all ended in a rather vicious screaming match where I had ended up sitting in the basement alone worried that I was going to break things, and I am not exaggerating. It’s a pile of rubbish that I have to put up with this crap on both ends.

More history on the matter goes like this, and I will try to be simple about it all. TME lost all custody of the kids because she is a horrible mother, and the state told her that. She refused to accept it and then managed to lose her 1 hour a week of supervised visitation monitored by the county because she was a totally ungracious pain in the ass to them. This is her MO and she makes it impossible for anyone to deal with her until she gets her own way. The state had seen this problem and finally legally put me in total charge of everything, which would have been a grand plan except it is a good way to lose all of your hair when you are dealing with a sociopath that happens to share DNA with your children. After a while I finally let her see the kids again despite the fact that she wouldn’t pay her whopping 50$ a week in child support, or be stable and responsible. After a bit I started letting the kids stay overnight at her place out of my own selfishness needing a night off here and there. I regretted that when I found out that I dropped them off one night and then was alerted after I had done so that her lunatic boyfriend was arrested the night before for beating the crap out of her and could get out at any time. She didn’t bother to tell me herself. Overnights ended, and she was put back on “Visitation when the kids were at her parents” and she then started fights with her mother. I gave up and simply said that was it and wouldn’t let her see them unless they happened to be at a family member’s house and they accepted that she came over under THEIR duress.

She started the games again of calling and asking about having the kids over night and I simply said NO. I finally had it out with her newest boyfriend a little over a year ago, and then decided to start a dialogue to let her get a path to certain “rights” again, and I made it really simple. I discussed it with her boyfriend because she can’t talk rationally with anyone {and seriously she is probably insane} the simple rules. She would start paying child support. She would start visiting the kids on Saturdays {unsupervised, but would stay in the area … take them to McDonald’s or a park or whatever … just stay local} and she would live in the same location, and then after doing these things for a while they would be extended. She’s still with the same boyfriend and they are now engaged. She calls the kids and fills their heads with their “bedrooms” at her new place, she hasn’t visited them once, made a child support payment at all, and again the bedrooms at her NEW place AGAIN! When she called about having the kids on Christmas she wouldn’t hear a word about not even doing any of these things ONCE in over a year. She then irrationally got incensed with me because I wouldn't drive them over on Christmas eve so they could see her new apartment. As I said she is fucking crazy.

Yes believe it or not there is a Christmas theme in all of this other than the fact that she is starting the usual Christmas shit. I sat down with a pack of cigarettes and actually talked to myself out loud. It may be a very good indication of insanity, but in this case I equate it more towards the “reading the instructions out loud and you will remember them” and I think that I had a bit of an epiphany but it actually sounded better when I said it all out LOUD. She has never been a good mother, and I have said that enough to simply be a broken record, but the fact of the matter is that she has never TRIED to be a good mother either! It’s beyond the point of immaturity at this point and the damage that she is doing to the kids is immeasurable. I finally talked myself into accepting that the children are better off without her in their life whatsoever, BUT I will give her one more chance after I write down all of the rules, and hand them out to EVERYONE so that they can consult the notes when she whines about it all. The most important part of all of this is that I will simply put it in writing that this is IT. I will be completely done trying after this and it will be her fault.

In all of this I have given myself the greatest Christmas gift I have ever had though. I am not going to deal with any of this until next year. I decided that, I don’t have to allow her to talk to any of the kids. I don’t have to take her phone calls, and I don’t have to be afraid of what anyone will say when the police show up at her new apartment. Oh did I mention that Lazius Boycrazius got her address for me and left it in a note on my desk? She always moves whenever Child Enforcement shows up and they have a warrant out for her. Yeah I used to think it would make me a bad person to have Health and Human Services go and get her for failure to pay child support, but that was before I had the talk with myself, and realized that I am just enabling her. Here’s to a new Christmas ;8o)