Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Superdaddyman Takes On The Pink Mafia - Volume 13

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As the sky opened up, revealing the sun above, and signaling a new day had begun on the great city of Megalopolis, it was all everyone's favorite super villain turned super hero could do to even keep his eyes open. Here he was again about to enter the fiendishly evil halls of the dreaded Pink Mafia {PMHQ} on yet another day where he knew that he would be in charge. One would think that this was a good thing as he steered the reins of the most diabolical machine of evil in all of Megalopolis, but alas is was not. In his alter ego state {that simpering mullet head Jeremy Crow} it appears to be impossible for the Superdaddyman to conduct to many counter insurgent activities while holding true to his credo of “You chief me Indian” thus allowing most of his greatest pranks to go wholly unnoticed. In better state it is best for us to just say that all of these days of Superdaddycheifdom are getting old really fast.

It was a typical excuse and rather tired and boring that the fearless leader of the Pink Mafia Cell that Superdaddyman had infiltrated used on this day as he pretended to be on “Jury Duty” which must have been code phrase for “Tainting Jury” as no prosecutor in his right mind would allow any of these Mafioso freaks stand in judgment of anyone! The biggest problem as of such is that every time Jeremy Crow {meaning Superdaddyman with much less personality} is left in charge of this Pink Mafia Cell he inevitably does deeds that leave grave ramifications like greater responsibility and often time vendor relations that cease to end when he throws the cursed reins back to the Fearless Leader. It is starting to get to the point where Superdaddyman is hardly left time to do his janitorial duties that create his cover to get the real information necessary to take down the Dreaded Pink Mafia {and of course a raise would be nice} for the betterment of mankind as a whole.

Aside from the usual ramifications of control being thrust upon him {standing in the tattered clothes of a Janitor while trying to pretend you're important} the Caped Pervader was faced with a different challenge today mind you. Today was the day when the one vendor that Superdaddyman had always hoped to avoid was scheduled for a very important meeting on a new set of pricing guidelines that would effect a very large part of Pink Mafia operations for many years to come. Fearless Leader assumed that this was a fine place to leave Jeremy Crow has his noodle headed idiocy was perfect for driving prices down. His lack of concern for company harmony always allow him to start at a price tag of “free” and often end with a price tag of “free” as the thought of the company loosing a contact was never his concern. His bargaining abilities are quite sound except for one problem in this instance, which comes in the form of the five foot eight inch blond always in a skin tight barely below the panties miniskirt and five inch heels who will be sitting in the cramped office with no desk between them negotiating. You guessed it boys and girls, but what we have here is Superdaddyman's equivalent of Kryptonite!

Nobody ever assumed these things were very easy, but The Powers That Be {PTB} that have come to rely on the simpleton Jeremy Crow to do their evil bidding, finally went a little too far on the Superdaddyman's abilities and now it had left him actually afraid to be sitting in a room behind a locked door with a certified hottie! Who would have ever seen that coming huh? If his cover hadn't been so iron tight and impregnable {oh bad choice of words in this instance} one would have thought that they were actually toying with the Superdaddyman in some sort of James Bond, just kill him and stop talking, style moments. How could he possible get out of this scrape as he has to sit and negotiate with this obvious Pink Mafia spy without revealing his true identity {aka immediately humping her leg like a horny stray dog} and thus ruining any chance that the people of Megalopolis have to keep the Pink Mafia under control? This as you all can see boys and girls is NOT for the weak of heart and that is why you are all so lucky to have the Superdaddyman to protect you.

The Superdaddyman finally formulated a plan to counteract the {now seeming more and more} plot to try to take down his cover. It was not going to be easy but this is why the professionals are up for this super hero gig and not just anyone. Superdaddyman surmised that the first thing he would need to do is mop the floors throughout the PMHQ. This is actually quite heavy work and usually get the Superdaddyman really sweaty and smelly. This should hopefully {but you never know} keep the operative with the five feet of legs {at the very least} from throwing herself all over the Superdaddyman like most women do when faced with his awe inspiring greatness. She may still want to though as it is nearly impossible to resist, so the Superdaddyman waited until nearly the interview time to go and empty all the trashcans in the break room. The ones that sit right by the heating ducts and always smell like rancid bananas. Should she somehow either find the smell of Superdaddysweat appealing or worse yet, full of pheromones then the smell of rotten bananas should cut through it all and keep her at a safe distance. The things that a super hero must go through to save the human race, let me tell you!

The plan so far couldn't have gone any better as at this point the Superdaddyman could barely stand the smell of himself and merely hoped that it was enough to force the damsel to not throw herself all over him as so often happens and making it easier for the Superdaddyman to concentrate on her legs ... um ... business. He must stay focused at this point less his cover be broken, but also so that he may conquer one of his greatest demons as well. The time of the meeting loomed as he could here the buzzer for the lunch truck thus signaling that he merely had to take two steps towards it and she would appear as if summoned by the very same noise. One .. two ... and then just as it always happens he hears the voice come through the other door as the vendor used the wonderful timing necessary to ensure that he would miss eating lunch. Superdaddyman's shock and dismay over this is stifling trust me.

Superdaddyman {disguised as that moron Jeremy Crow} walks over to introduce himself and usher her into the office ahead of him. This is a common trick that most in the super hero world uses so that they can get a long good stare at the goodies in motion before having to succumb to sitting and focusing their attention everywhere BUT there. She {code name Tina} took the seat across from the Superdaddyman in the rather cramped office with the desk facing the other way and the Superdaddyman took his chair from his desk and turned it to face her. Her meaning the tight skirt that couldn’t have been more than a foot long and the legs that started around her neck, but who noticed anyway? Superdaddyman was a rock! A very sweaty, stuttering, nervous, fixated directly ahead, rock. Her first major maneuver to try to sway the Superdaddyman from his stated set of goals was the hour long at the very least crossing of her legs forcing the Superdaddyman to gulp nearly audibly, but he passed that test as he continued on to the business at hand. It was the mind numbing tapping of the shoe against the heel of her foot that she was using as her secret weapon desperately trying to divert his attention partly to get her way in the sales deal but of course out of desperate yearning for the Superdaddyman himself. Who could blame her really?

After a tenuous 20 minutes of going over sales figures {sweating profusely at trying to ignore the sales girl’s figure} and going over company perspectives and such, the Superdaddyman very bravely set forth his final offer for goods and services. Like the eyes of the Superdaddyman could not meet the five feet of stocking clad legs with the waggling foot desperately trying to divert focus, the quota on price could not be met as well. The Superdaddyman was forced to stand up {of course giving him opportunity to errantly bend over and get a great shot of the calves and waggling foot to calm the curiosities} and he reached to shake the operative known as Tina’s hand to thank her for her time. The look on her face was a bit shocked as she had obviously never been in the company of one as great as the Superdaddyman. She also apparently didn’t realize that as another side plan the Superdaddyman had already gotten the faxed in quotes of her chief competitor and she didn’t even come close. Gorgeously long legs or not, the Superdaddyman was all about business and a super hero after all. Let’s also throw in the fact that he is not stupid and knows full well after taking the heat for getting a bad deal he wouldn’t even get to be the one to stare at “Tina” every time she came in to show off the new products and the new skirts. Like Superdaddyman always says boys and girls, “Screw those guys!” ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of J~ Crow}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, screw ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

All writings Copyright © 2007