Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Superdaddyman Takes On The Pink Mafia - Volume 12

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So begins another week into the life of everyone’s favorite super villain turned super hero, the Caped Pervader, Sacred Guardian of the Evils’s, sworn enemy of Mophaka Al Queholic, the one, the only, yes, the Superdaddyman! It should have been a rather easy week of undercover work deep within the evil halls of the Pink Mafia Headquarters {PMHQ} and for that very reason he walked right into the PMHQ on this Monday with a head full of steam to get all of his work done quickly and spend the rest of the day flirting with Natasha, on the Superdaddycommunicator {powered by Nextel} in exile. It was when he received a different communiqué on that very communicator that his entire world had changed for the worse! Apparently his counterpart on the west end of Megalopolis had gone down in a freak accident {old age mixed with heavy objects equals an ouchie in the back region} and the call for the Superdaddyman was on.

What makes this so special is that only the Superdaddyman can do the death defying fork truck stunts that are required for duties on the west end PMHQ facility and because of that he has to be sent over there to work alone. Had it not been for the fact that the horrible injury had taken down the only other person who could do these death defying fork truck stunts, then the Superdaddyman wouldn’t have been even noticed by the Pink Mafia hierarchy and this was not a good thing. Stealthily the Superdaddyman is able to do what is necessary to take down the Pink Mafia in PMHQ East and now he is stranded in PMHQ West. All alone with the mold and the dust and the other things that make it very … um … yucky!

In the short run it was a very rotten exchange of responsibilities though as all of the set up time was gone and the day was to be an extremely busy one over there. The Superdaddyman showed up at PMHQ West with 3 trucks already waiting to be loaded and late, with none of the orders waiting on the floor which meant 45,000 lbs of asphalt needing to be found and then loaded onto trucks that are quite impatient. The other 10 trucks that showed up throughout the day were spread out perfectly to ensure that the Superdaddyman would have absolutely no time to fart. It was ok as he hadn’t brought a lunch with him because he didn’t know he would be trapped in the middle of nowhere with no way of getting at food for 11 hours anyway, so that time consumption was not there. The day did fly by because he was in as we say in the business “the shits!”

Of course through all of the hurrying around the Superdaddyman did take time however to test out the various “safety equipment” throughout the facility, like every good super hero should. Take the seat belt on the Fork Truck for example when the brakes gave out and he hit the wall. It worked perfectly as he had trouble breathing for about an hour. The steel cage above his head worked perfectly too when he was driving around a triple stack of year old product that finally got sold and the pallet on the top broke toppling 1500 lbs of rolls down on top of his head as well. Fortunately he didn’t have to find out about the absorbency of his underwear during that one, but here’s looking towards tomorrow anyway. You never know when the mold all over the walls will finally form that creature to go over to Japan and take on Godzilla, or how hungry it will be at its birth.

Now what excruciatingly busy day would be complete without that stray truck driver that really is in no hurry to get anywhere? The one that graced the Superdaddyman came about three quarters of the way through the day and was driving a 96 inch wide by 48 foot long decked flatbed which means in the shipping industry that you have to “chimney block” the load so that it will fit on properly. There is a certain way to load everything so that it balances properly on the truck and the Superdaddyman does not deviate from this no matter how much the truck driver’s whine. They know their truck but the Superdaddyman knows the load, and the two are completely different things. In this instance the Superdaddyman loaded the bed to the specifications of the load and then discovered that there was an extra 5 feet open at the end of the bed. This signifies that this driver didn’t even know his truck because it obviously was a 53 foot bed, and then he came over right after to alert the Superdaddyman that it was too heavy in the front and had to be unloaded and reloaded, but still was arguing that it was a 48 foot bed. An hour of Superdaddyman’s life that he will never get back and three trips on the back of a flatbed with his wheels sitting on the rails doesn’t make him smile either! The 3 trucks that were waiting as he finished this redo weren’t exactly patient despite the fact that they were all late, and one of them was called off and was only there to argue about it.

By the time the Superdaddyman was finally finished loading the last truck it was almost an hour past the 2 hours extra that he had sprung on him that morning and he wasn’t exactly chipper! All the rolls that had fallen on top of the truck still laid in their pile as it was easier to move the aisle over then to move the rolls from the floor and that was how busy it was, and today they were waiting for the Superdaddyman when he appeared at the same location, because it may be his new home. Some of them were still on the floor when he lest today actually as it is a “do it when you can” proposition. He has it on good authority that the person who got hurt was actually supposed to have his drug test the day before, and that might hinder his return. Superdaddyman found a way to make it up to the beautiful Natasha for being incapable of plotting evil with her on Monday {by plotting evil with her today of course} and one would think that all is right with the world. Of course there is always tomorrow ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of J~ Crow}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, screw ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

All writings Copyright © 2007