Saturday, June 2, 2007

Superdaddyman Takes On the Evil Imtoocutus - Volume 4

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So today was an interesting day for all to behold as it was up to everyone’s favorite Super Villain turned Super Hero Superdaddyman to fulfill his other dutiful obligation as Prisoner Transportation Service {PTS} as it was the object of Imtoocutus to go to a top secret meeting of the Terrorist Organization Known as the Evils’s {TOKE} sleeper cell on the other side of Megalopolis. They always schedule these things with top secret cover up routines and this was no different as they were calling this faction meeting a “birthday party” but the Superdaddyman see’s right through these things! It takes keen intellect to stay on top of Evils’s and that is why the Superdaddyman is on the case to make sure that these little terrorists are kept in line at all times.

Now as far as the Evils’s are concerned all of their extraneous cohorts always come from la familia of their own, and in Megalopolis most people know that the Superdaddyman and the Evils’s are the only poor ones in the whole city. This usually means that all of the Evils’s cohorts come from very rich families and it often tends to be various professions that keep those familia in line. Some are politicians, others are doctors, many are lawyers, a lot of them are mega conglomeration contractors, CEOs, CFOs, and just about anything that involves money and corruption. This of course makes an awe inspiring Super Hero like Superdaddyman very intimidating to most of them. This happens to be the one friend of one of the Evils’s whose familia is THE la familia, and the intimidation often is on the end of the Superdaddyman.

Realistically this is Imtoocutus’s greatest ally in the war against the world, and has been featured in many tales of the Superdaddyman as Notsocutus and was even in on the plot to save Santa Clause from the evil penguins last Christmas, but she also happens to be the anomaly. Lives in an expensive condominium right on the beach, always has huge volumes of money for the family celebrations like operation “birthday party” and nobody has ever met her father. Her mother doesn’t work and has the really poofy hair and usually wears Capri pants and high heels, and there are a lot of other stereotypes that we could roll with here but let’s just say that her name ends in a vowel too. It isn’t a stretch to think that she might happen to be related to the other members of the community that have names that end in a vowel and never wants to talk about what happened to that idiot uncle who just went away one day.

The Superdaddyman goes through this every year around this time as he takes Imtoocutus out to whatever really expensive local that the Pink Mafia hierarchy wouldn’t even be allowed to bring in their family to be at and he drops her off to the huge men that stand at the door with one side of their chest being a lot bigger than the other. Sort of like when he has to drop Lazius Boycrazius off to the ones that are hosted by the politician familia of her Evils’s cohorts, only these ones are usually talking and hugging everyone. Superdaddyman gives the customary hugs {that are eerily similar to a friendlier “pat down” like he had in the Super Villain days} and then hops into the Superdaddyvan to fight the traffic back to the Casa Di Evils’s. Simple stuff actually as he is used to this. The shocking part was when he went back there to retrieve the dreaded Imtoocutus and it was the first time that Notsocutus’s father was actually there.

Now it is really hard not to play along the lines of stereotypes during times like these but realistically when I looked at Notsocutus’s mother sitting over in the corner with a big man that very easily could have taken the place of Tony Soprano should they want to continue that series. Superdaddyman gave out the customary hugs so that he could get into the waiting area with the other terrified looking PTS and it was hard not to stare. In over 4 years of Imtoocutus keeping Notsocutus as her primary confidant the Superdaddyman had never seen this man before, and there he sat with a huge pinky ring with gold nuggets on it, an expensive Italian suit, slicked back hair, and smoking a cigar in a place where smoking was not allowed and I didn’t see anyone even thinking about asking him to stop. Would you? Yeah the Superdaddyman decided it was not the hill to die on either. This was when he saw the Superdaddyman because Mrs. Notsocutus pointed him out and Mr. Notsocutus got right up and started heading right over to Superdaddyman with his arms open saying “Eh so you must be the father of Imtoocutus,” which had Superdaddyman nodding as a man roughly twice his size it two directions muckled on to him.

Needless to say it was a very good conversation actually. Not that Superdaddyman said anything, but he did a lot of nodding. Before it was over the Superdaddyman had agreed to keep Notsocutus for a weekend while Mr. & Mrs. Notsocutus went off to “reacquaint” some weekend, agreed to work on one of his websites for his “trash business” and agreed to a weekend out on his yacht with the family. It could have been worse actually, like Superdaddyman could have opened his mouth and allowed something stupid to come out. Hey there’s hope for anyone I imagine at that point, but don’t think that the Superdaddyman wasn’t absolutely elated to get out of there as was the rest of the PTS. Damn at least the politicians and contractors evils’s give you much better things to write about, or at the very least much safer things to write about, but such is the life of a Super Hero. Superdaddyman managed to pack away the cases of soda and left over party gifts that Mrs. Notsocutus insisted that they take with them {that’s what happens when you are the one that usually has the familias whispering under their breath “their poor” whenever you show up somewhere} and the trek back to the Casa Di Evils’s was underway.

Of course back at the Casa it was Greektradgedius Inyiddish that inquired first whether the Superdaddyman had actually met Mr. Notsocutus this time around which had his head nodding rather weakly. Lazius Boycrazius of course having no tact whatsoever blurted right out “Yeah he’s back after his stint in the pen,” since she happens to be casual associates with his oldest son, and they tend to be a lot more frank at that age. Figures that she would know these things before the Superdaddyman did, but after all she is evil. Greektradgedius starts freaking out over the new revelations until Superdaddyman tells her that we all get to take a trip on his Yacht to which she REALLY starts to freak out. Lazius {never missing an opportunity to interject} throws right out there, “They never kill anyone with their kids around on TV,” which actually put a look of shock on Greektradgedius before she said, “but that’s just TV, I’m sure they’ll kill us,” and the Superdaddyman was smart enough to be down in the Superdaddycave talking to HIS favorite cohort before that statement could be finished. ;8o)

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Jeremy Fink and The Crow's Nest