Monday, June 18, 2007

A Day In The Life Of A Wounded Crow - Volume 6

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As far as Father’s Days go, I have had much worse actually because yesterday all of my family must have forgotten that it was actually Father’s Day. That would be what made the most sense realistically because since I have had custody of my kids not one of my family members around here have been able to forgo coming over here and eating all of my food. What was even more astounding was that I actually got to pick what I wanted to eat, and was so stunned by this that I drew a blank as to what I wanted. In the end I chose a Spinach Salad with Veggie Bacon on it, and almost got that even. Around here that is a huge triumph and now has me terrified that they are all up to something. The usual Father’s Day tradition of having to spend large quantities of money on what the kids want to eat and then at the last minute having several family members come along to co-opt the whole event and simply brand my Father’s Day {meaning I paid for it so my kids would be happy, aka typical Father’s Day right?} their own as well didn’t transpire.

I think it has more to do with the Fire Breathing Dragon that I have recently become with most of my family these days and especially as it pertains to money, and when I say I have been abrasive we are talking “sandpaper through a newborn’s asshole” with a little more grist. I went as far as to not register my Minivan this year partially because I couldn’t afford it, but mostly because it is a registration, gas filling, motor fixing, tire replacing, black hole of my money that everyone else seems to drive except me! This might have also been a big part of it as well since I wasn’t exactly hospitable at all times to my house guests over the last week either but if there is one thing that I have less of than money it is time, and it was a total waste of both. In the end GTIT finally gave me the money to register the Minivan because she needed it, and it won’t be inspected until someone other than me fixes the windshield too.

That’s the new me around here as I have finally been bled dry and I don’t have the ability to care about it all. It actually plays into the old me that is just counting the days {4087} until the youngest one can get her “Golden Footprint” on her ass at the front door. I have since revised that strategy since the whole reconstruction of the house to incorporate GTIT and Husband of GTIT into it to say “I get the Golden Footprint” and they can all try to find me. The little one can stay with them for all I care. Regardless of if I ever make it out of the state of New Hampshire it will be 4087 days until I no longer live at the Casa Di Evils’s and if the Winnebego that is parked in the side yard {assuming that I still get a parking space after it is all said and done} should be the big clue that I mean business.

Now along those lines there needs to be sustainable goals to be reached towards that whole Exodus that I plan to have on August 25, 2018 {God Kill me it looks so much worse written out like that} and that is the hard part on my end but should keep the rest of them confused. You see sustainable goals are not a customary practice around here unless they are somehow sucking the very life from me like a dog going after the marrow in a bone. I have started working on the exit strategy by raising my 401k a bit {so that the leaches don’t see that they aren’t getting my whole salary … aka Ugh Me Thinks Saving IS Scary} and leave the passive aggressive hints that I am not planning for things past that date. Sure it has lead to me losing total control of what goes on around here but it also is a relief to not be standing at the Roman borders as the Huns are coming either.

We still have all of the “Well this is going to happen” and “I am looking forward to” mentalities here and I would have to write a book that looks something like the Tax Code to actually list all of the broken promises that have been handed out by everyone involved here and most of them have lead to the very situation I find myself in right now anyway. I treat everyone here like they live in Disney World {yeah I know while I write A-Team parodies about a bunch of friends on the Internet … Eat Me!} and they treat me like the Troll under the bridge. It’s good to see that we finally have a symbiotic relationship that makes sense at least on this end. I think the last straw was when I finally realized this week that GTIY is now simply getting the money to help out from my father before I can even ask, thus eliminating the middle man, but also making it so that I as always will be the only one here that is in poverty. What’s worse is that I really have fallen into the simple belief that I don’t give a crap anymore anyway. 4087 days!

Well back to the point of yesterday where I got a God awfully bright orange colored shirt, {that has kinda grown on me as I wore it today} ink jet cartridges for my printer, {so I could use them all printing up pictures of stuff to be named later} the weirdest looking wall clock I have ever seen, {which still had the 1$ tag on it from Wal-Mart which definitely gets an A+ from me for frugality as it was a bargain} some home made cards, {which came out really cool} and an iceberg lettuce and cucumber salad {that gave me the trots like mad} but most importantly NO COMPANY! By contrast this day was about 40 dollars cheaper on me than my birthday and well over 100 dollars cheaper than last Father’s Day or the birthday prior, and for that I should be grateful. The fact that the ringing in my ears from the kids screaming all night and refusing to get away from me because it was Father’s Day and the trots being over are what make today even better ;8o)

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Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, screw ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

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