Monday, April 16, 2007

Superdaddyman Takes On Jeremy Crow - Volume 4

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Well today boys and girls we find out brave young {cough cough} crime fighter taking the reigns from that total dolt Jeremy Crow, and going to the Doctors office without being so indisposed as the same simpering weenie that went for a cold and left with Viagra. Yes it is the one, the only, the man with NO plan, The Caped Pervader, Virginity Defender, and all around Defender of the Fair Maidens of Megalopolis, Superdaddyman who walks in there today and he is kicking ass and taking names! Well actually this is just a follow up visit for a complete physical, discuss the blood work and see if those little pink and blue pills has increased the size of the nerve going into the Superdaddyspine. We already know that it had increased the size of other things but this is a G-Rated blog people, so work with us here!

This was not going to be with The Superdaddyman’s primary doctor today for it is just a routine physical and follow ups on medications if necessary, so Superdaddyman was forced to face her younger assistant {practitioner} who we have aptly code named Whoa! This code name was applied after the Superdaddyman had noticed that her skirt today was barely below the end of her panties and actually had a slit on the side also! This is not a good sign for the Superdaddyman as unfortunately for him the woman is going to have to touch him in order to give him a physical! The nylons she was wearing were ultra sheer and black and it was extremely hard for the Superdaddyman to focus his attention properly, but he does to the best of his ability for the good of humanity!

We first start with the peace keeping demands. This involves her sitting down across the room from him so that she can torture him with such diabolical methods as “the shoe wag” with her legs crossed and as we all know boys and girls that is just plain fighting dirty from the get go! While testing every ounce of sanity that the Superdaddyman has left desperately trying to maintain eye contact and simply stealing drools whenever she gets up to get something {sanity breaks we shall call those} she started explaining to him the differences between good and bad cholesterol. It appears that Superdaddyman has plenty of one and not enough of the other. Can you guess which one is which? Actually to put it bluntly it appears that the Superdaddyman may just possibly be the first human being known to mankind that doesn’t have blood running through his veins and might actually just have plaque in there. Being a woman she goes right in for the kill too by reminding the Superdaddyman that if he doesn’t get that taken care of then he may never get an erection. LISTENING NOW!!!

Now of course the fact that he is taking two of the little blue or the little pink pills {still couldn’t get the green ones that threaten the 4 hour erections on TV … damn!} a week for the spinal nerves should solve that problem but she still insists that smoking has got to go as well because the oxidants are causing the cholesterol issues. {Mental Note – Remind mother that whining about how nothing will help her cholesterol between cigarettes doesn’t flush anymore. If I am going to be pissy then she should be too!} The good news is that the X-Rays did reveal that the Superdaddyman has that 1 in 99,000 chance nerve almost fully grown back into his once ruptured disk. Even better news is they still gave him a shopping bag full of more blue and pink pills to continue that treatment for the next 6 weeks. YAY DADDYMAN!!! But they are to go with the new purple pills that he has to take for his cholesterol.

The hardest part of the whole mission comes now as the Superdaddyman is put through some of the most rigorous tortures know to any Caped Pervader, as Whoa has him stripped down on the doctors table. Despite the fact that many of the Superdaddyman’s favorite movies begin this way there is a certain level of torture in it all as well. First and foremost being that he has to PISS like a race horse and her poking and prodding him about the abdominal areas is not helping at ALL. Let’s also keep in mind that this was even worse when she decided to perform all of the reflexive tests on him and held his arms in a way so that his hands grazed along the nylon on her upper thighs. Spectators would have noted that he didn’t actually need the pink and blue pills. He did need something to cover his flaming red face but like most people in an industry that requires you to touch perverts … um … super heroes, she was perfectly capable of ignoring the spectacle going on just south of the reflexive tests. Needless to say there is no need to cue up the Superdaddyman music with the really funky bass in it.

After another long lecture involving the removal of anything that actually brings joy to the Superdaddyman {damn I am married to Whoa already} including smoking, hamburger, butter, eggs, cream cheese … um … lets just leave it at anything with flavor, or that controls his temper around the Evils’s the Superdaddyman was off to get an Ice Coffee and have a smoke. Geeze people, Rome wasn’t built in a day yanno? Our favorite super villain turned super hero decided to forgo sitting at the coffee shop to … um … protect the streets {yeah good one} as any more street protecting today was going to force him to break off one of his favorite appendages {accidentally of course} later, so it was purely a drive through mission, and on the way back to the Casa Di Evils’s for him.

Back at the Casa which was being onslaught with rain all night to the point where the Superdaddycave and the cell of the diabolical Captain ADHD were underneath an inch of water the Superdaddyman was met by Greektradgedius Inyiddish who handed the Superdaddyman a mop. His quizzical wonderings of why he was standing in the demilitarized zone reserved for Greektradgedius and the feminine evils’s were met with “Greektradgedius Intraining and I have the bank appraisers coming over tomorrow to finalize the loan on the addition, so you have to mop the downstairs!” and then of course the Superdaddyman’s retaliation of gut busting laughter. {Mental Note – Go down stairs and pee then come back up and continue the gut busting laughter} Should he actually just tell her that you can’t simply mop a full inch of water that was brought in by the water table rising, or should he just wait until the appraiser points out to her that loans don’t get given to homeowners that can’t keep two of their basements out from under an inch of water? Muahahahahahahahahaha ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... Mental Notes& Random Musings {Daily Blog} The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of J~ Crow}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, fuck ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

All writings Copyright © 2007

Jeremy Fink and The Crow's Nest