Monday, April 9, 2007

Musical Methadone & Mental Masterbation - Volume 23

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Deep in the heart of Megalopolis there lies a huge Gothic block and mortar cube with little to no redeeming qualities other than the diabolical deeds and plans that go on within it. This would of course be the heart of the very cold and evil Pink Mafia, where dastardly plans are constantly being worked on for the ruination of the great townspeople of Megalopolis! Alone in the crusade to take down such fiendishly wicked plots, capers and otherwise bad people things there is the lone defender of good, the Caped Pervader, The Man with NO Plan, The Guardian of the Evils's, Virginity Defender, and all around hero to all, Superdaddyman! Once again disguised as his feeble minded alter ego Jeremy Crow, the Superdaddyman lurks the halls of the Pink Mafia Headquarters {PMHQ} in his never ending quest to take down the fiendish Pink Mafia once and for all. We shall now cue up today’s Superdaddyman theme as performed by Jeremy Crow as he walks around the plant “OH WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT .. NO, WE AIN'T GONNA TAKE IT .. OH WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE .. WE'VE GOT THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE AND .. THERE AIN'T NO WAY WE'LL LOSE IT .. THIS IS OUR LIFE, THIS IS OUR SONG .. WE'LL FIGHT THE POWERS THAT BE JUST .. DON'T PICK OUR DESTINY 'CAUSE .. YOU DON'T KNOW US, YOU DON'T BELONG”

When last we saw Superdaddyman in this location we had dealt with the trials and tribulations of a superhero possessed to clean up more turmoil as it had been wrecked upon all, as he foiled Operation Leaning Tower of Asphalt {OLTA} and made the hallowed halls of PMHQ safe to walk again. He has since been thwarted by another one of his fiendish foes “The Know It All” who found it within himself the energy to take apart all of the asphalt stacks that Superdaddyman had installed after great catastrophic turmoil, and stacked them again, HIS WAY. As Superdaddyman walks down the halls to the scene of the crime he notes that HIS WAY is now all over the floor in a big pile as it had been the last time it had been done HIS WAY. Superdaddyman of course gives off the normal reactions in times of great trouble and tumult but as this is a G Rated blog entry, we shall simply allow you, the faithful Superdaddyman fan to form your own version of Saxony, and hopefully more under your breath and not as constant on the way down the hallway again. “OH WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT .. NO, WE AIN'T GONNA TAKE IT .. OH WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE .. OH YOU'RE SO CONDESCENDING .. YOUR GALL IS NEVER ENDING .. WE DON'T WANT NOTHIN', NOT A THING FROM YOU .. YOUR LIFE IS TRITE AND JADED .. BORING AND CONFISCATED .. IF THAT'S YOUR BEST, YOUR BEST WON'T DO”

Oh ye of the troubled head, think the Superdaddyman as he storms down the hallway to get the trusty Superdaddymobile {PMHQ Sized} and spouts off about how if he were the supreme ruler of the universe he would outlaw the existence of most of the people around him at the moment. Doing this of course with that twinkling super hero style smile that you all have come to expect, but never the less with a passion that can only be described as ... um ... Saxony. Never mind the fact that there is now about 500k worth of finished goods that has cascaded down to the floor on not 1 but 3 separate occasions which pretty much means on the best of scenarios it is about 100k worth of product now. This of course makes the Superdaddyman even angrier as he notes the shrinking size of the Superdaddyprofitcheck!! “OH..................... OH..................... WE'RE RIGHT/YEAH .. WE'RE FREE/YEAH .. WE'LL FIGHT/YEAH .. YOU'LL SEE/YEAH .. OH WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT .. NO, WE AIN'T GONNA TAKE IT .. OH WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE .. OH WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT .. NO, WE AIN'T GONNA TAKE IT .. OH WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE .. NO WAY!”

We will now take a moment to point out that if the Superdaddyman doesn’t get that {insert Saxony here} song out of his {insert far more Saxony here} head then he is going to {Saxony} the {yep Saxony} out of one of the {long trail of Saxony that is often pardoned as French} that {oh my who knew that he knew this much Saxony} idiot that restacked these {um come to think of it that might be Mongolian} rolls of asphalt! The audience that was forming to watch the Superdaddyman as he performed the duties of cleaning up after idiots {it is the job description after all} does not make his mood get any brighter, but he did finally use his superior intellect to manipulate the situation a little better. “King George said that you guys have to pick this {Saxony for dirty … learned that in college} up off the floor,” which had them all speaking a little Saxony. The Superdaddyman wasn’t there to hear it as he decided to go decontaminate the bathrooms until someone finds out that King George said no such thing. “You mesmerize slowly .. Till I can't believe my eyes .. Ecstasy controls me .. What you give just serves me right .. Without warning you're here .. Like magic you appear .. I taste the fear .. I'm so afraid .. But I still feed the flame,” ah Judas Priest and at a much lower volume, we can deal with this.

The booming voice came over the loudspeaker of PMHQ “Jeremy to the shipping office NOW!!!” about an hour and a half later, when the Superdaddyman had already forgotten about the whole OLTA and was playing with Paint Shop Pro on the laptop in the closet he hides in. Actually, he didn’t really even think that that could have been the issue as he sauntered over to his desk to see King George sitting there with his arms crossed, “Why did you tell my guys to clean up that mess in the warehouse,” he asked the Superdaddyman with a stern look on his face.

The Superdaddyman decided with the cunning of a fox to beguile King George with the truth as he said, “Because they were standing around looking bored, and I figured that you would want them to be productive,” and then threw on his famous smirk as he knew that the truth would be almost as intricate as the Saxony that he had been espousing earlier. Now boys and girls it would be hard to explain the utter look of horror that came across the face of the Superdaddyman {as he knew that he had just stepped in it} because King George gave him the sigh. Not just any sigh, but THE SIGH, which could only mean one thing! He was about to get a long boring lecture about growing up in Pennsylvania, from the only man on the face of the earth that really did live in the “Leave it to Beaver” household. Oh the humanity of it all! “When all the world is a hopeless jumble .. And the raindrops tumble all around .. Heaven opens a magic lane .. When all the clouds darken up the skyway .. There's a rainbow highway to be found .. Leading from your window pane .. To a place behind the sun .. Just a step beyond the rain” oh my {the BIG Saxony} Lord this can not be good!

Forty five minutes later the Superdaddyman emerged from the shipping office with a blank stare on his face, bored stupid from a long story that involved stealing a cow, and hiding it in a neighbors bedroom, and how he couldn’t sit down for a week, or some crap like that, and the Superdaddyman was almost totally incapable of thinking up evil what so ever. “Somewhere over the rainbow way up high .. There's a land that I've heard of once in a lullaby .. Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue .. And the dreams that you dare to dream .. Really do come true” and worse yet a song that methadone for has never even been examined stuck totally in his head. He was even a bit jittery as he had haunting visions of cleaning up cow {Saxony ayuh} out of an antique bedspread. It was about 20 to 30 minutes later when the Superdaddyman had finished cleaning up the rest of the piles of asphalt rolls that it hit him like a flash of lightning, and then under his breath he pondered as he got that fiendish grin like the Grinch had in that famous cartoon, “I wonder if there are any cows around here?” ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... Mental Notes& Random Musings {Daily Blog} The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of J~ Crow}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, fuck ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

All writings Copyright © 2007

Jeremy Fink and The Crow's Nest