Thursday, April 12, 2007

God Bless The Rest Of Us - Volume 3

Well it was a wonderful way to start my day actually as I had a truck driver show up who couldn't speak a word of English. This is not anything new and happens quite often actually but this person was a little more special that usual as I couldn't figure out his language. I'm one of those prodigy types that pick up languages pretty quickly and can wrangle my way around Italian, Serbo-Croatian, Portuguese and most importantly now a days Spanish, but whatever the hell this guy was speaking was not any combination of any of those. It was obvious actually that he spoke some form of Middle Eastern dialect and probably was Somalian or some other African form of Arabic, but this was not an easy task given the fact that he didn't even have an order number or know where he was even going.

After prying out of him a word that sounded sort of like Missouri, we ascertained that most likely he wasn't even supposed to be at this warehouse and then tried to do the long hard task of getting him over to our other warehouse. Despite the fact that I had made some pretty damn cool maps giving thorough directions to the other warehouse, he didn't even comprehend the concept of a “Turn Left at the Mobil Mart” and it was not making my temperament suitable for this conversation what so ever. I did finally at least get him to nod his head in a certain form of agreement that perhaps he could get from point a {meaning here} to point b {meaning anywhere but here} and pointed him in the direction of the exit.

Now mind you as we were basically standing around debating how someone who can't even read English is allowed to drive 80 thousand pounds of death around the country, the guy ended up driving the wrong direction towards the plant entrance. As the truth is known I simply said to everyone around me, “Just let him go that way, as long as he gets to where he is going, there isn't enough traffic anyway,” and that was the big mistake as the guy then proceeded to demonstrate that he didn't know how to drive anyway. This coupled with his inability to read and you have what you see on the picture above, when I went around the building to go stack pallets. The ass end of the trailer ended up stuck in the ditch and you can't really tell from it but there is a Jersey barrier underneath that. How he did any of this absolutely escapes me. The guy who was driving the truck walked up to the top of the hill and started hitch hiking with the truck blocking the entrance to the plant.

“Um, you're going to have to come down here and deal with this guy because you make the big bucks for just these sort of circumstances,” I said to my boss on the trusty walkie talkie Nextel thingamajig and then added, “I'm going to go take pictures for the insurance guys, and my websites,” and then I pretty much ignored his slew of obscenities that came back over the phone. I did spend a few minutes trying to get the truck driver to come back down and wait with his truck but he pretty much ignored me and continued to hitch hike on the road that has no traffic, so I figured at the least he wasn't going anywhere.

The truck was making creaking noises as I was taking pictures of it because of the strange angle that it was at, it probably would have fallen on its side if the fifth wheel had given way. The pole that carries all of the electricity into the plant is that one you see right in direct path of where the truck would end up if it did. I did take some time to ponder what a calamity this truly is as the guy whom I have no idea where he is from still is trying to hitch a ride, and I am not dealing with him. It was finally my boss that went up the hill and started trying to tell him that he had to come down or he would have to call the authorities. The man ignored him until my boss used the word “police” and the guy then knew exactly what he was saying by the look of terror as he went running down the hill and got his wallet out of the truck so that he could get his green card and start showing it to him. It was around this point when I started realizing that this was just too ludicrous to be real. Even by my own standards of spinning a good tale out of hardly anything.

He spent the next 20 minutes as we waited for the wrecker to come lift his trailer off the Jersey barrier and out of the ditch, showing his green card to anyone that walked within 20 feet of him, which became the company joke when we passed each other for the rest of the day. We would whip out our time badges and salute each other, but realistically this is not funny. This guy finally got his trailer back on the road {showed his green card to the wrecker driver when he wanted his gold card} and then drove away. Well actually he drove across the street to the factory there which was about 3.6 miles short of our other warehouse, but whose keeping track. Our sister company across the street {which makes plastics} had a bitch of a time explaining to the guy that they are NOT the other warehouse and about an hour later he was back over here but he wasn't going to be sent away he just pulled into the dock door and wasn't going anywhere until we loaded him.

My boss was getting really aggravated and was finally going to call the police but that's when I decided to call the trucking company on the side of the truck. The person on the other end of the phone could barely speak English, but at least they were in Santa Fe, New Mexico which from the last I checked was an annexed part of Mexico now anyway so they had an excuse. Through broken English and Spanish I was able to find out that this guy was Somalian, so I was proud of myself for guessing that, but he was in the wrong town, and was looking for Elm Street and not Pine Road. I was not very happy to say the least but at least I could direct him the mile to get on 101 and travel the 35 miles away from here! I'm not to happy though as I am typing this up because I am worried that Elm Street in Manchester {which is what he is looking for} is a street with a ton of people walking around it all day, and this person scares me driving a truck out in the boonies, much less in the biggest city on the busiest street in New Hampshire. Heaven help them all out there but I just don’t know what to say about these things anymore ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of Jeremy Crow} Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} Mental Rants & Political Rage {For Those That Like His Political Rantings} Mental Imagry & Random Perversion {Adult Stories .. Assume they are rated X} Itching For Coffee {Community Blog} Jeremy Crow on Twitter {For The Easily Amused} Blogaholics Anonymous {E-Mail Blogging Group}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, screw ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

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