Tuesday, April 17, 2007

A Murder Of Crows - Volume 3

This is a repost of my writings from Itching For Coffee ... Where I often post writings with other talented writers ...

This is a rather strange topic coming from the mind through the fingers of a man, but I feel that it is important for me to talk about it, especially considering that I am going off of the old adage that usually people of most genders only listen to those of the other gender anyway. It is always important to note that it is usually the message and not the messenger that need be listened to in a lot of occasions and this topic is beating me down pretty hard right now so as I usually do I bring it to a blog and expect some sort of closure on it afterwards. There will be people reading this that will be extremely uncomfortable with the topic and for those reasons you may want to continue reading. This is brought forth from a string of events and I am adding my own observations to, so please bear with me.

I happen to suffer from super hero complex really badly so as often is the case I get stuck in the middle of many dramas based on my emotional stupidity as well as my inherent need to be a hopeless do gooder. A lot of people know this about me and one of the things that get my dander up something fierce is domestic abuse. All aspects of it weather it is spousal or child make me angry to my very core, and I have often been noted for getting myself into trouble over these things whether it be my arrest at Toys R Us for assaulting a man who was abusing his child, or just being stuck in the drama of a person trying to leave a loved one who is going to kill them sooner or later if they do not. I have never had a very good on and off switch for dealing with people who are abusive regardless of the venue or the circumstance and it will probably be my Achilles heel until the day I die. I can think of worse things to get myself preoccupied with but never the less it is a definite form of my own emotional abuse to care far too much for people who were probably just born to be abused and may never have the capacity to live without it.

A couple of weeks ago I was approached by a friend online who was being abused by her spouse and I of course found myself being rather saddened and concerned for this person. She's very typical of a woman that is in an abusive relationship really as she didn't have it in her to leave the relationship {despite her stated intentions to do so} and started to become abused again. Like most women in abusive relationships that I had met she had actually found her online prince charming to give her the emotional stability that she didn't get off the computer, and in the end I imagine that he had broken up with her when that stopped being fun or he stopped appreciating the fact that he was merely “the other man” but regardless I used that as my advantage to get her into “Safe Place” so that she could get away from the abusive man regardless. Telling her that he obviously didn't want to be “the other man” and she needed to fish or cut bait appeared to work regardless. Here's where it gets a bit curious to me so I will give two sides to this story, the could be and the what you all should know.

Within a day or so of her escaping the man she was in safe place and had a brand new CherryTAP profile and was spending long hours rebuilding her new profile {If any women are reading this and are serious about leaving your abusive spouse then you need to STAY AWAY FROM THE INTERNET} then she was back in contact with all of her old friends {women who are stalked by an abusive animal will inevitably be found through her friends so DON'T DO THAT} and of course she was back with the online romance {If you are leaving an abusive relationship the very first thing you need to know is that inherently YOUR TASTE IN MEN SUCKS and you need to AVOID MEN UNTIL YOU LEARN WHAT A MAN IS!} and then it was HE that told her husband where to find her, which he did, and now she is back home after a good throttling. This of course put every woman in jeopardy at the “Safe Place” home that she was at {if she was} and now they are all probably scared that the information about the home will be posted somewhere and men looking for their punching bags will come from miles around to check the place out.

Now with that said I happen to know a lot about “Safe Place” and I can tell you that they do NOT allow you to use the computer like that because they are professionals at dealing with abused women, and I hate to be curt but an abused woman is every bit as bad as an alcoholic in the sense that they are incapable of making the right decisions. A friend of mine actually called the place a prison but necessary for a lot of women to escape the abuse, just like someone who is being reprogrammed after a cult had them. This has a lot to do with the fact that when they inevitably get in touch with their abusive spouse {because their mind can't live without the abuse or the love that they think the abuse is} it puts the lives of every other woman there in jeopardy. These women of course are trusting people to help them and it was a very huge step, and nobody should be allowed to jeopardize that. I learned about this first hand when I was about 12 years old and the “Safe Place” down the street from me was burned down in a fire after one of the women there got in contact with her husband to come pick her up. He started contacting people until one of the lunatics whose wife was in there found out and torched the place. I then learned everything I could about the place from every source I could get it from. The curiosity and the rumors needed to be satisfied by me, and it was.

Let’s not forget rule number 1 in an abusive relationship, which is that NO MAN has the right to hit a woman. This is an ugly reality and I am having a very hard time believing this drama with these two as it unfolded with me, but assumed at the very least I could make my statements about abuse be known through all of this. I find myself getting messages from the woman and the rat bastard that turned her into her husband floating around the mental spectrum, and my own life is to burdened for that crap. I basically said as much and with what I am writing here it is currently kissed to God because I tried. If you are being abused by your spouse, mentally and or physically and you are scared for your own safety then you need to leave. The only happy ending at the end of all that is that you will be dead someday and not care about the fear anymore. The chances are pretty good that your spouse is teaching your children how to behave that way when they get older and THAT IS YOUR FAULT! In a lot of occurrences the psychopathic spouse will end up seriously harming your family members, your friends, and many other innocent people along the way and abuse is NOT love anyway.

Should you actually get away from the monster with the help of family or great organizations like “Safe Place” {Google – safe place and the state you live in for more information} then you need to be LOST and any of your friends that truly love you will understand. You need to stay away from people of the opposite sex because quite blunt, you are too insane to be around them. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results, so it is best to listen to the people that know what they are doing in these regards and that usually includes staying out of relationships! All you are doing is holding on to your own insanity long enough to kill you the way you have always done. The first thing an alcoholic does to recover from alcoholism is to STOP DRINKING, and in turn the first thing that a person with a pattern of being abused should do is STOP LOOKING FOR LOVE. You've already demonstrated that you don't know how to find it so feel free to learn, but like with most degrees it takes at least 2 years for a certificate and 4 years to be considered learned.

As far as the drama unfolds in this instance or any other instance that may arise whether it is true or not I am holding fast to a few of my favorite expressions here to keep ME safe from being held hostage emotionally by others. The first of which is “You are what your parents make you and if YOU chose to stay that way then blame YOU” which I have tried to tell people for years but often have to remember how it pertains to others as well. The other happens to be “Everyone in this world has their own Higher Power watching over them and most importantly I AIN'T IT” which at the very least should allow me to walk away from being held hostage emotionally because help comes from within as the opposite is without. I make the pact to myself from here on in that whenever a friend is in need I will be there with the appropriate links to the websites that will help them out, and then from that point on it is up to them. I have done all that I can realistically do at that point, and going further than that is tantamount to saying “Fuck you Jeremy die inside with them” ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of Jeremy Crow} Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} Mental Rants & Political Rage {For Those That Like His Political Rantings} Mental Imagry & Random Perversion {Adult Stories .. Assume they are rated X} Itching For Coffee {Community Blog} Jeremy Crow on Twitter {For The Easily Amused} Blogaholics Anonymous {E-Mail Blogging Group}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, screw ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

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