Sunday, March 4, 2007

The End of the 37th Year

Well it was a bit typical albeit uneventful end to the thirty seventh year alive today. A lot can happen in a year, and I am not free from the life changes that one endures, so I shall take a moment to reflect on it all. My last birthday party kicked it all off and that cost me a fortune last year, as being a single father means you have to celebrate these things and until the kids get jobs {lazy bastards} I tend to have to foot the bill. The problem in it all is the rest of the family that shows up and helps deplete the resources actually as the pizza bill was 80 bucks last year. This coincides with the fact that at this time last year I was barely bringing home 350 dollars a week since my back injury had stagnated me at work.

As luck would have it I had managed to work my way into being important as a few of you had read and managed to increase my salary by 40 percent by threats and confusion. I threatened to quit and they were confused as to how they could replace me. My demands were met so during that year my style of living had increased quite a bit, factored in with selling the rights to my first novel and I am happy to announce that this has been the most comfortable birthday in many years. I made everyone eat American Chop Suey this year and made my own cake so that helped in keeping the leaches from ruining my wallet this birthday too. The rest is left up to debate, but I managed to get a box of Enteman’s Chocolate Donuts {the ones that are like a chocolate donut wrapped in a candy bar … yummy}, a bag of Snickers, and George Carlin’s “Brain Droppings” which actually was a better score than last birthday. Oh actually my daughter gave me 5 dollars for my next two ice coffees as well as the card up top.

I feel a lot older than last year actually, and it worries me somewhat that my life is starting to scream by at this point. I spend all of my time working on this working on that and I never have enough time to finish and that does make the days fly by. If I was to be a bit morbid, by my family’s standards I passed middle age two years ago as the last three generations of men on both sides of my family died at 69 years old exactly. My father is the next one approaching that mark as he just turned 67. I’m a bit concerned as I didn’t get my usual birthday card from him, but I am sure that it is just hung up in the mail. My mother actually sent me a rather touching birthday card though, and I haven’t decided whether it is all a ploy yet or not but here’s what it says …

My Wonderful Son … I’ll never forget the day you were born.
It was the clearest, finest March day I’ve ever seen
It was the Stanley Cup playoffs and Boston won.
Your Dad got so faint and had to leave the room.
It was nearly as perfect as you are.
Thank you for making me proud and for my beautiful grandchildren.
I hope your day is as wonderful as mine was 37 years ago.
XXOO … Love Mum

Now it’s not too hard to see where I get my writing ability from, I will leave it all on that nice note and not wax poetic of how I feel about her or anyone else today. I will simply go to bed knowing that when I get up in the morning it will be the last day I can say “You don’t look a day over 37 Jeremy” and then go to work where nobody knows it’s my birthday. They never do because the HR Director never posts them till after my birthday for the month. That suits me fine really because to me it is just another day. If I woke up breathing, I’ll thank God to be alive and then start praying for Friday … Have a great night guys ;8o)

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Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, screw ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

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