Sunday, March 11, 2007

Superdaddyman Takes On Mophaka Al Queholic - Volume 1

It is another cold morning in the great city of Megalopolis as everyone’s favorite super villain turned super hero embarks on another skilled mission of OGH {Operation Get into Heaven} with the two smallest of TOKE {the Terrorist Organization Known as the Evils’s} in tow. Now utter Hell prevention maneuvers is not easy for the Caped Pervader, especially as the weather outside is starting to get warmer and with that the fair maidens of Megalopolis seem to be getting shorter and shorter skirts. This is of course a part of the greater scheme to get the Superdaddyman to fall from the very lofty heights to which he has come to be heralded within. Little do the know it works like slathering peanut butter all over the ugly cousin to get the dog to play with them, and Superdaddyman usually leaves a trail of drool that people can literally follow all throughout the EEC. {Evil Extraction Center aka Church} The Superdaddyman after all is a man, and has his ills despite his ability to single handedly protect the world from TOKE and the Pink Mafia!

It has been well over a month since Captain ADHD had been re-patriated into the flock, and the Superdaddyman is not amused with his inate nature to only create chaos now as it serves him. Being thrown out of EEC was one of the few things that had served the Superdaddyman well, and as the Superdaddyman lolls back and forth with his eyes half open and his tongue hanging out from the sheer mind numbing bordom of yet another sermon on feeding the Church {aka .. put yo money in da basket my brothers} he starts to daydream rather hard about the good old days. Captain ADHD would come in and start doing his “cockroach on crack” impression. The women would all go running for cover {thus making their skirts ride up once in … um … never mind} and forcing the Sunday school teachers to flash the number 23 over the getyourfreakingkid-ometer. That magical, “get out of boredom free” card above the dais, and then the Superdaddyman could stand outside with the greatest criminal mind ever known to man threatening him while smoking cigarettes. The good old days, are long gone realistically as again the Superdaddyman is slapped awake by his friends wife who starts to feel the drool of a sleeping Superdaddyman on her shoulder. Where has he gone wrong in his teaching of TOKE.

The only plus side of al of this is that Lazius Boycrazius is off being reprogrammed on one of those Church retreats, so there isn’t as long of a wait, nor the sheer effort it takes to drag her away from the goodie table at the end of it all. Imtoocutus is walking around practicing her lines for the Church play that is coming up in a few weeks. Again she is pouring on the charm and doing her best to try to fool the Church, God, and the rest of the human race that she is cute and innocent, but fortunately for all of the unwitting fools of Megalopolis, the Superdaddyman is never fooled by her act. Still it is the big evil member of Mophaka Al Queholic {MAQ} who is eerily absent from the foyer where she and the other “guilt squad” members sit after successfully imprisoning their families inside the great hall to make them look better. As strange as it sounds the mental battle begins of should the Superdaddyman actually look for her, or leave her there in hopes that some other family will adopt her?

As the Superdaddyman searches for the fiendish Greektradgedius Inyiddish {you didn’t think he would actually take on the guilt trip of leaving her behind did you?} dragging in tow two kicking and screaming members of the cult of “I wanna fuck with this” he finds no trace of where she might have gone too, and can’t find any of the other members of the guilt squad either. The first impression was to assume that they all ran off to get brunch while leaving behind their indentured meek to deal with the soul saving for the day, but that of course would have been too easy. The cars of the other members of the guilt squad were still there so lord knows where they all went to. The Superdaddyman of course pondered the notion of the whole leave her for adoption theory again, as he struggled to keep hold of the two Evils’s that were desperate to go make this day of soul saving meaningless. Back inside EEC the Superdaddyman found a few clues as to the whereabouts of one Greektradgedius Inyiddish, and was not too particularly thrilled that they all had been in hiding in one of the unused Sunday School rooms eating Dunkin Donuts!

“Ok look, I play this whole church farce every week and for the love of God you people are going to start saving your own damn souls, because I have had it up to my eyeballs with it all!” was what the Superdaddyman said {and for your information that was exactly what the Superdaddyman said} as he opened the door and saw 9 old ladies covered in powdered donuts and drinking coffee. “At the very least you could have given some of that to the people who are in there keeping up the appearances for you all,” came out next. This of course was followed by typical “old lady” groans of being offended, and the Superdaddyman is truly the man as he managed to get one out of every single one of them including the ones that fake deafness for that extra little stab of guilt on their children and grand children. Like he cares, he has too many issues of his own. “You might want to get ready to leave, because I can get worse and you know it.”

Most people do not know the chaos involved with taking care of an elderly woman that is like your kids only more irrational at times. The Superdaddyman deals with all of this like a waning giant. Insert cross in front yard, hang yourself on it, but this woman has managed to completely install chaos into an already messed up life on so many occasions that it just doesn’t help to be kind. The fact that the Superdaddyman goes along with all of the anecdotal little schemes to create some sort of normalcy at the end of a very long life for her should be enough to get him into Heaven, but of course some of us do fall unto the altar of the punishing God after all, but unlike saving a lot of money on car insurance by switching to Geico, the Superdaddyman brings really great news of real value to him! Since he got home with the diabolical leader of Mophaka Al Queholic she has been pouting upstairs, and he has been in virtual silence to write the blog as it is nice enough outside finally for the kids to be locked .. um .. encourage to play outside. Score on for the Daddyman ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of Jeremy Crow} Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} Mental Rants & Political Rage {For Those That Like His Political Rantings} Mental Imagry & Random Perversion {Adult Stories .. Assume they are rated X} Itching For Coffee {Community Blog} Jeremy Crow on Twitter {For The Easily Amused} Blogaholics Anonymous {E-Mail Blogging Group}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, screw ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

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