Friday, March 9, 2007

Superdaddyman Takes On Jeremy Crow - Volume 3

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Another day in the life of a brave crime fighter foretold, as everyone’s favorite Super Villain turned Super Hero, as the diabolical leader of Mophaka Al Queholic {MAQ} known as Greektradgedius Inyiddish brings down an intercepted communication from one of the Terrorist Organization Known as the Evils’s {TOKE} Lazius Boycrazius. It looked like this only harder to understand in her super secret code writing.

Dear Prince Charming,

I am so much farther than FED UP with all of your shit! You cheat on me and then you lie about it, and I just can’t deal with all of your fucking drama. Have fun with NAME WITHELD and I hope she satisfies your sexual needs because I sure as hell NEVER would have! Oh by the way, the thing NAME WITHELD II told me about Monday? Yeah you asked me out that day, and had sex with NAME WITHELD III or whatever that night. What the fuck is your issue? Oh never mind I don’t want to know, and as a matter of fact WE ARE OVER! Do not ask me why because that would make you as stupid as everyone says you are.

Lazius Boycrazius

PS I hope that NAME WITHELD & NAME WITHELD II know about each other because if and WHEN they do you will be in deep shit!

Now of course Greektradgedius Inyiddish ordered shit and ate shit on this one, because as she was walking around ranting about the intercept Superdaddyman first pointed out to her that it was her own fault for digging through her stuff, and reading it. He then of course used his keen powers of observation, to point out to her a few other things that she was forced to agree with. First of those being that her writing skills are getting excellent, and that she isn’t having sex!!!! Woooohooooo … Score one for the Virginity Defender!! That letter was actually word for word and without any editing on behalf of the Superdaddyman, so that is a diamond in the coal pile right there.

Superdaddyman was not finished there either as he was scheduled for maintenance this afternoon. He went to the doctor for his scheduled tune up after what would be a very bad winter, of being sick, hearing loss, and a horribly bad back to top it all off. This is one of those times in the life of an aging crime fighter when having a woman doctor that for the most part services mostly women patients comes in rather handy you see, as he went in there to discuss the “usual’s” and ended up on the very “unusual’s” before it was over. You see like everything else that happens in the Caped Pervader’s life he walked in there with a rather scaled method of attack {deafness, sinuses, back pain, constipation} and was rerouted towards the things that 37 year old men tend not to want to discuss {fingering his colon, erectile dysfunction, love handles, smoking} and in the end had to stand his ground!

Thirty minutes has now passed and the Superdaddyman is leaving with the knowledge that in a month the Superdaddyman will have a woman putting her fingers in his bum, he’s now on a diet, smoking stays damnit, and he went home with a paper shopping bag full of free samples. This is the bright side of your doctor not having many male patients, because now the Superdaddyman has about 400 dollars worth of little blue and little pink pills {unfortunately he didn’t get any of the green one’s which talk about 4 hour erections like it is a bad thing … sheesh} which at the rate he is going should last him until he is 115 years old!! He should pop one of those before the anal probe and see if it spooks the doctor out. Yeah we know she’s had to have seen worse.

Upon arrival back at The Casa Di Evils’s {CDE} the Superdaddyman was in charge of delivering Lazius Boycrazius to the prisoner swap, where the church was going to take her on a retreat for the weekend. His sly ability to seize opportunities made it the perfect opportunity to have a discussion with her about leaving top secret communications where 77 year old woman can find them. She is getting a lot better about accepting that it is better for her to hide things then assume that she will get any privacy, but that had to be beaten into her by the Superdaddyman over the last 5 years. Lazius Boycrazius reached into her pocket and pulled out a pile of notes that all of the apparently 8 girls that Prince Charming was fooling around with had written to him, and placed them into the hand of the Superdaddyman. “Read those when you get home, because mine was by far the most polite, and worse yet I was one of the 2 that wouldn’t put out for him,” which almost made the Superdaddyman crash the Superdaddymobile! Upon inquiring why she had possession of all of these communications she informed the Superdaddyman that she had found them in his locker since he had given her the combination {how cute} and she said, “See, and you think I am the only kid that is too dumb to get away with anything?” and started to laugh. Superdaddyman of course could hear in her laughter that this wasn’t exactly real laughter.

His super keen mind scrambled to find the perfect thing to say, but what came out was, “Look at the bright side you can make photocopies of those and hand them out,” and gave her a rather spry grin, because after all he once was one of the greatest Super Villains known to Megalopolis in his own hay day. These things are very hard to work out of your system yanno?

She started laughing with a much more pronounced bravado which made it sound more real than her little hurt chuckle from before, and then said, “Why would I do that when I already wrote them all in my MySpace blog? All of the girls who wrote these notes, him and all of his friends read that,” and she chuckled a bit more, “Should make for a great weekend, I’m glad I’m leaving town,” and with that I guess the proverbial apple doesn’t fall far from the tree huh? “Why do you think I don’t care if you have them? I’m done with them anyway.” ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... Mental Notes& Random Musings {Daily Blog} The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of J~ Crow}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, fuck ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

All writings Copyright © 2007

Jeremy Fink and The Crow's Nest