Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Livin' With Evils's - Volume 25

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As the Superdaddyman was furiously working toward solving the worlds problems at his trusty Inter-networked Communications Device {cruising the net for porn … um … ICD} there was a strange set of noises coming from above the Superdaddycave that forced him to don the cape and cowl and speed to the over world! Upon his arrival, and of course allowing his eyes to adjust to that “sunlight” thing people are always talking about, he realized that the noise is commonly referred to by others as “getting along” and of course that scared the Superdaddyman more than the usual fighting and bedlam. The Superdaddyman took great delight in realizing that it was just one of the Terrorist Organization Known as the Evils’s {lil bastards … um … TOKE} assisting one of the other ones with the their nightly indoctrination studies {homework … um … wait yeah homework!} and they both appeared to be fine with it.

Now aside from the normal fear of them actually getting along and everything, it is important to point out that what was most terrifying about the whole process to the Superdaddyman was the roles being portrayed. What most passionate followers of the Superdaddyman {God bless you poor misled sheep} would assume based on their knowledge of the Evils’s ages {Lazius Boycrazius 14 .. Captain ADHD .. 8 .. Imtoocutus .. 6} doesn’t exactly factor into Operation Get Daddyman {lil bastards … oops … OGD} on this occasion or perhaps it factors in more. Greektradgedius Inyiddish had simply walked away from the whole class as 77 years of life have made her un-teachable {oh God trust us on THAT one!} so she went back to watching Wheel of Fortune.

As everyone’s favorite super villain turned super hero watched on with feigned comprehension Captain ADHD had become bored with teaching Lazius Boycrazius algebra and was now working on getting her up to speed with geometry. For the most part the Superdaddyman was forced to just stand there and nod as the graphs and visual aids that Captain ADHD had drawn out on the paper and poster board to demonstrate the error of Lazius Boycrazius’s thinking were written in some sort of alien language to the Superdaddyman. After a half an hour of “refresher classes in geometry” with one of Lazius Boycrazius’s school books he finally did deduce that everything Captain ADHD was drawing out was quite accurate, and of course more scary. Not nearly as scary as the fact that Lazius Boycrazius was taking notes and actually paying attention to him.

The lessons went on for over an hour actually and when it was all over Captain ADHD brought all of the study materials he had created down to the Superdaddycave in hopes that they could be “archived” for when Imtoocutus needs them, as the Superdaddyman had conned him into thinking that he knew it already. Factually speaking his head still hurt just figuring out the first lesson. With that so noted and archived Captain ADHD was back on his computer and rattling away in the dungeon below where he is usually kept. The Superdaddyman after a while stopped what he was doing {back to the porn we know we know} and stealthily crept down to the lair of the fiendish Captain ADHD, who as always had gotten past the parental controls on his computer and was looking through The Library of Congress website for more study materials on something called Trigonometry. {Makes Mental Note .. He sure didn’t get this from his mother so Superdaddyman should try to find a MENSA score for their Postman about 9 years ago}

“Don’t you think you should find some games or something to play?” the Superdaddyman asked as Captain ADHD was hunched over the keyboard fiendishly compiling data on various math techniques. He ignored the question outright which then prompted Superdaddyman to ask it again “Yanno? I installed Real Arcade on there for you?”

“Look dad, I have to get this done before quiet TV. It’s a Fairly Odd Parents special on tonight, and I’d kinda like to see it,” he said in a very waning voice {did I mention lil bastard yet?} and then went on, “if we don’t get her into this we’ll never get rid of her!”

Now keeping in mind it is very hard during times like this for even the strongest of super heroes to keep a strait face, both in laughter and in the concept of sharing the same subconscious thoughts to be fair. Using his keen intellect to assess the situation quickly and come to the appropriate plan of action, the Superdaddyman decided it was best to just walk away and tell him when it is quiet TV time. Who knows, but it’s a lot easier than trying to stifle evil genius at work.

Fast forward to today as the Superdaddyman was at work, and received the super secret communiqué from one of his operatives {The Vice Principal} at the Detention facility of the Big Evil {High School} that there had been an altercation. Big evil had decided to finally deal with the two boys that were harassing her at school, and it appeared to get out of control. The one boy took it upon himself to actually punch one of her friends {yes a girl} and in an instant Lazius Boycrazius became the “Enforcer” of TOKE and from even the description of The Vice Principal went a little too far when the boy was on the ground and she was still beating him over the head with an Arizona Iced Tea bottle. Amusingly enough it was hard to hear any of the usual stern indignation in his voice when he said “God I hate to do this, but the school rules say that she has to be suspended for two days, but we can call today one of them if you come get her now,” and with that the Superdaddyman was off to transport prisoners. The boy didn’t get suspended but in the words of Lazius Boycrazius it’s better for him to have to be pointed at covered in Ice Tea and black and blues all day anyway.

After a short conversation about the incident, and an even shorter drive back to the Casa Di Evils’s the Superdaddyman had deduced that {even if it is amusing, and sounds like she can’t wait to go to school again … funny how that works huh?} she must be punished during her suspension. This works out good for the Superdaddyman {cuz it is all about the Daddyman after all … yeah baby!} for there are a lot of really nasty cleaning chores and other things that he really didn’t want to do anyway. The list was formed, and she was in enough shock over the whole sentencing process that she simply started doing it, when the front door opened above the dungeon. Captain ADHD came charging down the stairs apparently alerted to the news of the suspension from a very big mouthed old lady upstairs, and started right in, “How are you supposed to get better grades if you aren’t even at school huh?” which prompted Lazius Boycrazius to fire something indecipherable back, and it all ended up in a screaming match and I think as I sit here typing this that something fragile just broke. Everything is back to normal again ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... Mental Notes& Random Musings {Daily Blog} The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of J~ Crow}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, fuck ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

All writings Copyright © 2007

Jeremy Fink and The Crow's Nest

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