Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Deadly Sins Therapy - Volume 11

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It could have been construed as a very boring day actually, despite the fact that it was very busy. I get in that zone where everything just flows properly so the day goes by, but it can still be considered boring actually, so when noon time was quickly approaching it took me by surprise, yet still was going to be a welcomed change of pace. You see on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, I go over to the other warehouse for the last two hours to work over there, and it is a different sort of fast paced over there. Today also I was supposed to met one of my coworkers over there {the one who’s wife left him with the kids that I sympathized with in a previous blog for I was him at one time even though I was friends with her} who I was going to give money to, so as to buy his wide screen TV.

Now keep in mind I have the exact model of wide screen TV that he is selling me for 200 dollars {Sony 52 Inch projection widescreen} and don’t even have room for this one, but he is so down on his luck and so full of pride that he won’t borrow the 200 dollars, and demanded that I take it. I will leave it in the storage shed until he has the money to buy it back, and then we are both fine with it. Simple pride can kill a person sometimes, but I understand since his ex wife had totally ruined him, and as a medically retired marine he has a hell of a lot of pride, and I am not going to add to the pride she tried to, and is still stripping him of. There was a bit of a problem though as I was driving over to the other warehouse that needed to be addressed as I got one of those Nextel Beep Beeps pulling into the driveway of the lot.

It was his boss on the other end of the cell, who coincidentally was my old boss the notorious King George, and he had a problem as my friend had been arrested on the way to get the money. His ex wife had reported the car stolen. Now mind you, the fact that he didn’t have a driver’s license was his own problem, but never the less he was in jail and needed to be bailed out before they took him over to the prison for arraignment the next morning. King George asked me as a favor to him to go bail him out and have a talk with him about everything because he is finally starting to show the signs of totally losing it. Again the pride angle doesn’t help what so ever, and in reality I look back on what I went through when my wife left me under the exact same circumstances and left the state with the kids. She was also the sort of evil bitch that kept doing things afterwards to break me even more simply for the pleasure of it.

Well in my case anyway, the insanity took place of the pride rather quickly and I was also about 6 years younger than this friend is now as we are the same age. It’s hard to know what to say after I waited the 40 minutes for the bail bondsman to get there and process the paperwork, and all of the other etceteras because the fact remains that in the end I did the right thing, but I didn’t get there the best way. I had a year of total insanity, suicide attempts, an arrest for killing a guys dog, the loss of two jobs, moved 3 states away myself, and in the end finally went and took custody after my son burned their apartment complex down during unsupervised neglect. How do you translate all of that into “Hey look at the bright side, you can do what I did?” It seems pretty silly even as I relive it a million times in my own mind. Throw in the fact that he is a Marine that is my age, and I just want to scold him like he is one of my children for driving without a license anyway.

It was a torturous drive back to his home afterwards as I tried to listen, and I tried to be a good friend, and desperately tried to think up something intelligent or witty to say. I tried to gently get him out of the mode of being bitter because whether anyone admits it or not, that is what leads to the neurosis that makes you quite certifiable realistically. I got him to tell me about his kids as it appeared to be one of the things that would at least inspire him to talk in a more positive manner, despite the fact that he is only seeing them on the weekends and from what he was saying they appeared to be as neglected as mine were, and trust me I don’t doubt it. The fact that the 200 dollars was just to go towards feeding them and buying them some new clothes while they were with him {despite the fact that he has no way of getting them to a clothing store now anyway at least he was being up beat} and then put the other half into his oil tank. God, I have lived this nightmare and as sad as it makes me to hear it does at the very least give me the gratitude that most of that has ended for me.

Superbia {Pride} Ira {Wrath} and Invidia {Envy} are tearing him apart and I fucking hate watching it. I hate remembering those monsters in me despite my inklings towards those things at times they haven’t consumed me for a very long time. My Avaritia {Greed} and Gula {Gluttony} are quite in check as I am donating my time and my fortune to a fallen friend who just a couple of months ago was afraid to even look me in the eyes as I was friends with his wife long before him, and I need to reflect on that so that I can remember that I keep my house {inner self} clean from time to time. My Luxuria {Lust} isn’t in check at the moment because that special someone changed her default photo on her Yahoo {YAY Jeremy!} and as I look around me at the piles of trash that I have integrated into being furniture in my office here, I shall just say Acedia {Sloth} is my favorite Deadly Sin right now.

Two out of Seven isn’t bad for a day’s work especially considering that I am one of the sickest bastards I know. The whole drive became worth it though at the very end when he got out of the car with his 36 friends {yeah we stopped at the store because he wanted to sit at home and mope for the rest of the night with Budweiser, which a very long time ago would have been my preferred method of dealing} and then leaned back in the door to say “Thanks a lot. I don’t think I would have came out of this sane at all if I had spent the night in the County Jail. I have to worry about my kids now,” and then closed the door. It’s funny to say that I think he might have had that epiphany that it took me a year of chaos to get to, and for that I am also grateful. ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... Mental Notes& Random Musings {Daily Blog} The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of J~ Crow}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, fuck ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

All writings Copyright © 2007

Jeremy Fink and The Crow's Nest