Sunday, February 25, 2007

Tales Of Wallachian Fables & My Reality - Volume 7

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Greektradgedius Inyiddish cam stomping down the stairs this morning waking me up at 6am which was not appreciated in the least, especially considering that I had gotten rid of of The Terrorist Organization Known as the Evils’s {TOKE} for the next few days in the express hope of getting some sleep and hopefully feeling better. She had seen the caller ID and noticed that there was a phone call from the particular neck of the woods that her brother was last seen in Canada on the caller ID and raised herself into a panic over it. Waiting for me to wake up and question me about it was not an option in her mind despite the fact that that phone call had kept me up past my usual bedtime to begin with. Here’s where it gets a bit crazy as I try to figure out if I know her little secret that she appears to be keeping from me, as she immediately put on her new face and walked away when I assured her that it was not John.

By the title a lot of you know what the topic of this blog is and a few of you might even know the history behind it, but I will give you a quick refresher course about what it is like to be a member of my family on two different levels. The first level being that we are all amazingly fucked up, because of genetics and quite possibly in-breeding. My mother’s side of the family is not as obviously inbred as my father’s side, but it’s there and it dates back to the Upper Class English background routes before marrying into Slovakian ancestry, and in turn becoming a mixed breed of Scottish-Wallachian Vorbelach which the women appear to be born with nether worldly powers. My mother is so riddled with “sight” that it has driven her mad, my Aunt is so clairvoyant that she can drive people insane no matter how far away they move, my cousin has “enchantment” and so on and so forth. May all seem insane to most but I have grown up with it and accepted it as such, as I and my father can both call the dead, or in other words see and communicate with dead people, as that gift to the best of my knowledge was given to us by the ghost that I grew up with. Some I accept, and some I do not still because some “gifts” can seem really reaching and others really obvious. This of course brings me to my grandmother {Greektradgedius Inyiddish} who most have sworn has the ability to “wish death” on a person.

Now keeping in mind that that is one of those things that is often misconstrued and often reaching, it was her father {my great grandfather} and her husband {my grandfather} absolutely swore to their dying day that she could do that, and to a certain extent she has beaten herself up about it enough over the years to think it is true. Her behavior right now makes me believe that she really is believing it is true because I can’t think of another person on this Earth that she would have had one of those subconscious moments of wishing they were dead more than her brother. That is another whole dynamic of my twisted family as he managed to steal the family fortune from the rest of the family and spend it all effortlessly in almost no time at all. Big deal, in my mind as I have found that wealth does that to everyone and nothing dissolves blood like money, and how much she hates that man is a favorite topic of hers when she has been drinking. This coming from a woman that abandoned her family over 50 years ago, when she came to America and absolutely none of us have been close to any of them, but the fact remains that the first person to drop dead immediately after her wishing it aloud was her younger sister. Her father never seemed to forgive her for that.

Now my grandfather, mind you had known about this incident because of the Scottish propensity to drink and tell tales of things that may or may not be true, and the big mouth on my grandfather had received a rude awakening when he brought up the conversations that he had had with my grandmother’s father immediately after their wedding. My grandfather coming from the stock blood of a woman that would rant and rave all the time {as the women in his family all grow insane by the time they reach 30, yet still live to be 100} about what a hero Sed Pesch {or count Dracula} was to the great people of Wallachia. As it was what her mother and her mother’s mother and pretty much all of the women dating back to his family that was all entrenched throughout the armies of Dracula and were all blessed by the Pope for their defense of the Holy Roman Empire. He had also been quite indoctrinated into the beliefs of those that carry great gifts as his family was given them by God, and it was well documented. The power to wish death on anyone and have it be reigned down from God himself was a very true common knowledge of the most orthodox in the Russian church as was his entire family. Have I lost you yet?

My grandfather was the one who explained it to me as he had a real issue with drinking a bit too much {and alcohol actually stopped his diabetic heart in the end} and babbling about the things that people shouldn’t if their lips weren’t so loosened by the drink of the two times she had done it in his company. This is where it often gets blurred for me as there are times when people tell stories with a strait face and other times when they tell stories with a dead strait face, and the horror, and remorse in his voice no matter how much he had been drinking were dead serious. I have managed to completely skirt these issues with Greektradgedius Inyiddish for the 20 years that I have known despite the fact that she will talk quite openly with anyone about the rest of the family’s “gifts” as if it were simply a matter of “fact” as I do here. My first “Tales of Wallachian Fables” was actually for the most part co-authored by her, as she helped me to remember some of the best parts in my revelations. With this she has been avoiding me all day basically like she always does when she has been “figured out” on something and I assume that realistically I am going to let her slide on this one, as I am not prepared to bring forth any revelations in a 77 year old woman that is either going to drop dead on me from it, or beat me up with guilt about it until her 100 years has expired. It’s an interesting conundrum, as we are still getting phone calls from distant relatives that none of us have talked to for many years looking for John, and I see her face turn pale every time she is forced to talk to any of them.

That’s the background of it all as I spent a good deal of yesterday trying to teach a woman who can’t get the VCR or DVD player to work on her TV how to use a computer so that she can e-mail all of her family as they search the Earth for this guy. I should have put two and two together then while I was trying to tell her that a “pop up” ad did not mean that hackers had invaded the house and were going to turn off the electricity. I bought that Learning Windows CD ROM sets for my daughter {19,000 cherry bucks for your 70$ investment mind you … but I had been hooked on the thought of getting those anyway from the Infomercials} and after teaching her that the CD ROM drive on the laptop was not the way that President Bush or someone else equally as evil transmitted all of her bank account information from the desk drawer under it, she has been watching the things rather intently and learning a few things. It was what she started doing after she had realized that she was letting the cat out of the bag earlier today. It’s very hard when you have your own 3 children that have their normal little anguishes and heartbreaks that all children go through, and you as a parent have to love and encourage them, because it is the right thing to do, while at the same time having a grandmother that just so often you have to do the same thing for. In this case, I do the best I can just like all of the other scenarios that I lead into on a day to day basis, no matter how “weird” they are ;8o)

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Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, fuck ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

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