Saturday, February 24, 2007

Living Life On Tap - Volume 7

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Well now, it’s time to tattle a bit about my newest obsession here on CherryTAP as I am finding this new Crush of mine to be very interesting. You all know her actually, and you all adore her, but I am the one that is looking at her everyday when I sit at my computer. I never used the Crush feature before because I was quite convinced that it would create some sort of drama as women would try to figure out if it was them or not. It’s the jaded mind of a man who was way over his head at one time when he wrote, and in the end was cast out of his own little melodrama because of the obsessions that he was able to create at one time. Now I am sitting here with the obsession of sorts, and horribly concerned that it will create some sort of hysteria, but alas those days are behind me now, as I am one of many scrolls that go scrolling by with a pretty face, and admirers of my own. No more, and no less what I was yesterday or tomorrow.

I picked a beautiful woman to have my crush on after all, so it is nice to have that extra picture off to the side that doesn’t go anywhere, doesn’t make it so I have to chase her down or wonder if she is online or off. I can simply hold my mouse over her and get my updates should I choose too, and pop her notes every once in a while because I can. She’s been on my friends list since like my second day when I had only 5 friends on here so perhaps she has been my stalker all along. The facts remain that I have been lucky to have her around despite the fact that our first actual talking was when I was trashing all of her friends, and somehow she got over that. Then it happened when she started posting her new photos and I couldn’t stop running over to stare at them. Obsessed you could call it as she had the looks that I would have actually put together myself had I actually had the Mrs. Potato Head version of the perfect crush. Does she know? Does it matter?

I am after all a love addict and I could fall in love with every woman that I ever came in contact with, so the fact that I always try to stay guarded of these things, is something that I have ranted and raved about for years now. I have deflected women while I always find myself being full of shit when it comes to that as well. I have fallen in love online several times over the last few years, and some how, some way it ends or it never goes anywhere or it becomes too real. I have hurt women and women have hurt me and it has always been … are you ready for this one … MY FAULT! It’s a tough reality to face actually because I know it, knew it and I know a lot of people reading this have watched it. I also always believe that the next one is the right one, or the best one, and in a lot of ways it always is. I grow I learn I explore I make mistakes I grow I learn I go on. This one is so special that she probably doesn’t even know that I lose track of all time just paying attention to her. It’s taken me three days to write this for example, and I am fine with that. It has all the makings of the perfect crush, and I want to thank CherryTAP for once again accidentally teaching me something about me.

For any of you out there that have a crush, be it a real one, or a contrived one, or even if you are just throwing it around to see who you can drive crazy with it, sit back for a moment and actually think about that person. Try to remember whether you even know why you have a crush on them to begin with, or just try to figure out if in some way they have a crush on you. It’s been a natural part of your life since the day you realized that cooties were simply a fictional insect, and in most cases a little before that. I am pretty happy with the results of it all so far, and I can’t see it changing anytime soon. I think the only thing that could have made my little crush experiment go horribly wrong would have been if I had told her and she was mortified by it. I did, and she wasn’t ;8o)

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Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, fuck ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

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Jeremy Fink and The Crow's Nest