Saturday, January 27, 2007

Living Life On Tap - Volume 4

Want More Free Art? ...Visit the new angelis deZines on the web at or check out my galleries at CherryTap

At best, I can usually be thought of as the “perfect asshole” if I try hard enough and lord knows aside from that there is hardly anything in this world that I do perfectly. Some would even argue that I screw that up a lot of the time, while others would vehemently defend my abilities at being the perfect asshole. I really love CherryTAP because of all of the people watching you can do from afar. Everyone has a story and if they make the first paragraph interesting enough then I usually try to read the whole book. Many try to hard, and others don’t try hard enough to get the attention of others and I think that I actually try to read both of these types if I possibly can. In little shout box conversations I’ve had many amusing revelations about the different types of CherryTAP users, and started noticing them more as I started compiling my A List, so in typical Crow form I am going to emote about some of them. If anything I say offends you then please feel free to stop reading, or heaven forbid, change the behaviors so that we won’t pick on you off to the side.

As a man, the first thing I noticed when I joined CT was that there are a lot of women out there willing to bear their goodies for me. The fact of the matter is that there are VERY few women who’s goodies I have taken advantage of looking at, for a host of reasons. First and foremost of the reasons being that my kids are usually running around behind me as I am doing most of my CT stuff. Looking at the “goodies” are not really a great idea during these times so most people will find that I usually am more prone to rate and comment on the pictures of people’s children where I can actually include the kids in on these things. Secondly I have found that a good deal of the women showing the “goodies” are usually the one’s who get by on showing the “goodies” which basically mean, they have no other use. The few of you that have had your goodies rated and commented on by me it is actually more because you have a use, and they are part of the whole you. The opposite of this are the people who pretty much pop into pages and simply expect everyone to fawn all over them and their goodies, never to be heard from again, which reminds me of the old saying “You order shit, you eat shit” and I never could get into the taste of shit, although have been known to eat a lot of shit in my 36 years.

I then started noticing the people who like to place captions on their photos. Trust me it makes it a lot more fun to go through all of them if you have a bit of a story line. The people who can make a joke out of it all will usually find that I like to play along. Those that like to place particularly embarrassing photos of themselves or their children up {and better yet caption them} almost always end up being the best people to hang out with on CT. Don’t get me wrong, I want to rate everything on CT sooner or later as it is my higher calling, but the more fun I have going through the gallery the more I will rate, it’s just the results of dealing with a man that has ADHD. Intermixing all of your private stuff in with your non private stuff will result in a hell of a lot less rates because getting that “You suck you can’t see this picture” sign usually means … next profile to me. I tried once doing the “Back … Back to Gallery … Next” thing with a few galleries and then said to myself “Self? Is this person going to ever even care if she/ he was rated by you?” and the answer is usually no. I am extremely loyal though, and desperately try to keep all friends properly rated at all times, and appreciate it when I get the new “fried such and such has updated their photos” because it usually reminds me to go catch up {so damnit make sure you all post at least one photo a day … LOL} when I see it.

Then you have the “Fan Me Rate Me” types, OH MY WORD, show some self respect you prostitutes! I swear I have more fun with people who have “Fan me Before you Rate me” or some other sort of nonsense in their names. It ranks right up there with those that make it a point to remind everyone that they will “Tag You Back” or whatever kind of nonsense that I see in profiles and blasts, and YES I am a points whore, but I go about it the old fashioned way by sharing shit, and going out and meeting people. I have found in most of the circumstances of those that “Tag You Back” that they LIE … Go figure. I live off of the fact that I am a Rock Star every bit as much for going and getting my own damn points as getting people to come and give me points. Those that don’t just go out and raid photo galleries and “Master Rate” as Landry would say, are missing out on everything. I can’t even tell you how hilarious it has been to me {as a master of cut, paste, crop, and add effects artistry} to see all of the fake salutes that the CT Bouncers certified! Yes I do go strait to the shout box and get everyone to go look at them, and we all have a wonderful chuckle about them. I’ve been banned from commenting on a few people because I like to leave comments explaining the techniques that were used {Muahahahahahaha} but as I have said before CT is all about amusing ME!

I have to give the biggest props to the guys that are willing to go through other men’s pictures and rate and comment though. Facts are facts, but for all the shit I give women about being catty {and most of you are so don’t start} most men are ferociously homophobic or simply too “visually impaired” to lower themselves to rating or even dealing with other guys online. Women have no problem doing these things like rating and commenting on other women unless they are ubra-bitches then it’s a good thing they avoid you anyway. Most men want to look at some cootch and pray that the cootch will start chatting them up, so when a guy doesn’t disrespect other guys they are cool, and if they have a lot of cool photos to go through then they are even more cool. Just my opinion, but it’s also why you will see me speak highly of the men that I am friends with on CT too.

Last and certainly not least you have the writers out there. Most people don’t realize that displaying your writing abilities on CT is extremely under rated. You don’t get points for anything that involves a MUMM or a Blog, but there are some of us that take it extremely seriously. It’s the other window to whom we are, and who takes themselves and their friends seriously. I try very hard to read everything that my friends do and I always regard people a bit higher if they do the same for me. That’s just what it is all about when the day is over. Points are a lot of fun, and we all want to be popular {yes even you Lady Vic} but the true relationships I have formed are going to be with those that have allowed me to get to know them without getting anything out of it other than friendship, and if my brain is functioning, a little advice, laughs, or sympathy when needed. It’s also a way to make sure that only those that care are actually involved too. If we were all just point whores we could put our blogs and our MUMMs in our stash and rack up ubra points but I have to give credit to one of my friends here on CT that puts all of her Blogthings in her blog. When I pointed out to her that she could put them in her stash and get some points she reminded me that she does them for herself, which reminded me that that’s why I do this too ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... Mental Notes& Random Musings {Daily Blog} The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of J~ Crow}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, fuck ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

All writings Copyright © 2006

Jeremy Fink and The Crow's Nest