Sunday, January 28, 2007

And The Merry Go Round Broke Down - Volume 9

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So it was an interesting day already before Superdaddyman even donned the Cape and Cowl to try to take the unwilling hostages from TOKE {The Terrorist Organization Known as the Evils’s} to the usual Sunday Deprogramming Center {Church} where we shall just says, that their souls might be saved. The diabolical Captain ADHD has already made his attempt to seize control of the Superdaddymobile, by using his infinite powers of persuasion {whining like a 2 year old girl} to change the course of the mission. The fiendish Imtoocutus has already interjected her form of madness {as in hasn’t shut up since 5am} to wreak havoc, and the outlandish Lazius Boycrazius has already gotten herself ready for her mission once inside {raiding the snack bar} and you can see that carnal look in her eyes from it. This is a normal Sunday morning for the Caped Pervader, as he desperately tries to look at the bright side {lots of women in dresses to gawk at} as he sails the Superdaddymobile across the River Styx, and safely merge into his own redemption at Church, kicking and screaming of course himself, mind you.

Now the morning had already started off badly as he has realized that one of the few people he really had wished to leave behind in the old Yahole days, is rearing her ugly {well actually attractive but still a flaming bitch} head to start trying to make his life miserable in the new homeland. Despite his urgings that she simply admit that she is a lesbian and go on with her life, this evil freak being of absolutely no happiness whatsoever has decided to interject her own brand of evil upon our favorite Super Hero once again. Fortunately CherryTAP comes equipped with something that Yahole did not at the time called a “Block This User” switch to which the Superdaddyman applied with much bravado! Yahole not only made it so that you could not block certain individuals, but would then let them send obscene amounts of complaints against you until you had your profile erased, and the Superdaddyman for the time being does not fear that anymore! Factually speaking he really just doesn’t care anymore, but will still be on the lookout for whatever other crap the Kunt From Kansas {KFK … Note from the Author; If you know me then you know that I don’t use that word even if misspelled … If you know her then you will be surprised it took me so long}, tries to pull in the near future.

Back to the task at hand as the Superdaddyman brings the prisoners from within the confines of the Superdaddyman to inside of the big white building that they will try to take over very soon. Trust us on that one. The line on the way in of all of the “Special People” who shake your hands and try to make you feel welcome yet kind of give you the creeps, was all looking at the diabolical Captain ADHD with trepidation. This is a normal occurrence as they never quite know what he is bringing to the table, and realistically even Superdaddyman has given up on trying to figure out where he hides things to sneak into Church. The lady at the end is the hello that Superdaddyman was looking forward to as he has never seen her in a skirt that went half way to her knees much less below it, and she didn’t disappoint today either. The worst part about it is that she always catches the Superdaddyman “checking out the scenery” and LOVES IT, so we assume that she has one of THOSE types of marriages as we have never seen her husband here before either. The diamonds on her fingers shows the keen eye of the Superdaddyman that she carries around more value than Superdaddyman leaves at home.

Upon waking up from his best friend’s wife slapping him {probably drooled on her shoulder again} the Superdaddyman looked up to see that Captain ADHD’s number was not flashing on the “Get Your Little Bastard” alert system, and he was rather disappointed that he didn’t get them thrown out of Church still, but the good news is that the service was over. The people were all rising for the final attempt to destroy any hearing that the Superdaddyman had left as they tortured some poor song from the book of verses. {Mental Note – Rich white people can NOT sing} Without batting an eye Lazius Boycrazius started her “trample” to get at the goodies table, filled with more chocolate than she can even handle {of course if you threw in one of her friends the table would be eaten too} and the Superdaddyman tried to follow behind her as the “single mommies” all kept grabbing a hold of him to see how he is doing. It kinda makes you want to just say “I think it’s pretty obvious, have you not noticed how grey my beard is getting?” and hope that they take the hint, but that isn’t a wise idea as nothing gets these women hotter than seeing the Superdaddyman look like a knucklehead parent. Again the fascination of a man with 3 disturbed little lunatics screaming around him in circles being a turn on, escapes us!

Yes it actually did take the help of Captain ADHD and Imtoocutus, for the Superdaddyman to drag Lazius Boycrazius from the snack bar and you could still see her flailing wildly to grab at more treats as they did it. Did I mention that she is having a visit from her monthly “friend” in all of this? Sorry if that wasn’t made obvious enough, but rest assured there should be stories of Superdaddyman pulling rather disgusting things out of the washing machine later this week. It’s his early warning system anyway, because many years of talks will not change the “Lazius Boycrazius” from what her name implies. On the long slow sail across the River Styx once again, there is a pit stop at the refueling station for the Superdaddyman {Dunkin Donuts} which brings out a flurry of “can I have? … can I have?” which did force the Superdaddyman to point out to the big one that she still have 7 cupcakes and 9 rice crispies treats in her hands as she is begging for a coolatta! This of course starts the tears rolling because the Superdaddyman just doesn’t understand which he does now because she got her stupid coolatta, which meant that with the two hot chocolates and box of munchkins it was a 20 dollar trip! This too shall pass, and so will the sanity of our favorite Super Villain turned Super Hero. At the very least it has calmed him down enough to not go 1 the ever loving shit out of KFK’s page and photos ;8o)

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Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, fuck ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

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Jeremy Fink and The Crow's Nest