Tuesday, December 5, 2006

Throwing Truth Disguised As Stones - Volume 3

With Christmas on the horizon I figured it was important for me to give you all an update on the crack reporting that I have been doing to finally get to the bottom once and for all as to who killed Jesus. It’s been a bitter battle to get behind the truth despite the whole cover up that has been going on for the last two millennium over the issue, but I was able to get to the bottom of it last year when I finally had surmised that Santa Clause had killed Jesus and not the Jews, as the Romans had tried to spin it when the Jews had tried to pin it on them. It didn’t look good for the Romans for a long time there especially after Constantine had made the Empire of Rome a Catholic Theocracy. Now despite the overwhelming evidence that I had uncovered leading to the implication of Santa Claus, and his co conspirator Horatio Christ, it appears that the Fat Man {aka Jolly Old Elf, aka Father Christmas, aka Kris Kringle} is on the loose still to this day and I am seeing him with more frequency. First it was at the mall and then of all places I saw him out front of Wal-Mart simply standing there ringing a bell. You see he is throwing it right in my face that nobody can touch him, and unlike OJ Simpson most people treat me like I am crazy for speaking truth to power!

I hear that last year during Santa Claus’s “Reign Of Terror” he managed to single handedly break into the house of every single parent in the world, and nobody seems to care. His brazen disregard for the law has since increased as I hear that he is planning it again this year, and this is no way that any irrational murderer should be behaving especially when the person he murdered is the son of God and on his own birthday! Despite the raging jealousy that Santa Claus has always fostered towards Jesus based on the total mismatch of holiday songs written in his memory as opposed to that in the name of Santa there is absolutely no reason for people to simply turn a blind eye. I’m at times happy to see the liberals in this country trying to do their best to keep this menace from roaming the streets freely every year, but we have to get realistic about it all now because unfortunately the most left leaning people in the world are called loonies for a reason, because they are trying to ban the whole holiday of Christmas just to stop The Fat Man from violating the sanctity of everyone’s homes.

It’s like their idiotic ideas about taking all of the guns away from law abiding citizens in the hopes that it will somehow keep criminals from owning them, when realistically arresting criminals the first time usually solves these problems. That is {of course} part of the whole problem with allowing a fat man dressed in red {signifying his pride of killing Jesus} to simply commit the same crimes against the entire world at the same time every year like some sort of annual ritual, and worse yet to flaunt it and let the newspapers treat him like some sort of hero, and teaching the children that it is a “good thing” to break the law, while still trying to disinfect society of the poor son of God that this freak had murdered to begin with. Sooner or later you know that Judith Reagan is going to get her hands on this maniac and try to convince him to write a book about killing Jesus and breaking into homes every year in memory of it. Entire generations of lemmings will continue to lionize this lunatic while we simply try to strip any acknowledgement of Jesus from the schools and the court houses in a veiled attempt to protect us all from the very crime that Santa actually did. It’s just not fair! Santa is not the mother of Jesus so he does not have the right to kill him and pretend he never was alive to begin with!

Perhaps we should start looking at this from the Islamic point of view, since that religion is allowed in these places and more often then not, encouraged. Jesus is a high prophet in the Islamic religion so we could simply use the Shariah Law approach to dealing with the homicidal maniac running around who goes by the name of Santa Claus. For the most part, the punishment for murdering a high profit would obviously be death, but there would of course be the whole hour or so trial to banter over whether or not Jesus had besmirched the honor of Santa, yadditta yadditta, then they could go to the heart of the matter, Johnny Cochrane comes out and says “But what if this crazy man had killed Mohammed?” everyone oooo’s and ahhhhh’s, some scary Mullah guy comes out and straps Santa to the table and shlops his head off. They don’t have all of the investigative bullshit that we seem to need to get justice in these cases, and that’s why so many people wander around talking about their justice being supreme after all. I mean we have to be sensitive to their laws and ways of being, and you can’t just let someone kill their prophets and then tell them how to conduct themselves. We aren’t even allowed to argue about whether a Muslim woman should show her face for a drivers license photo for the love of God, and heaven forbid you even think about simply saying “We don’t treat our women like animals or property here, and would appreciate it if you integrate into our society” because that makes you a hate monger! I think I may be onto something here. No justice, no peace!

Now I just need to think of the way to bait the trap and get Santa to one of the places where Shariah Law can be implemented. I know from walking past him when he is ringing that damn bell in downtown that he is rather fond of whiskey. It’s hard not to actually from the smell, and the way he wobbles around the way he does. I’m sure it’s just to assist in the whole rosy cheeks and nose he likes to sport, and it seems to work for Ted Kennedy too. The hard part will be getting enough of it into him to actually get him agreeable to head over to the local mosque, since he seems to have been working on building up his tolerance to that method of interrogation for such a long time, but perhaps we can get some sort of deal going with Captain Morgan’s. Oh, that’s a great idea, I could just promise to stand Santa up with his leg bent up like he is standing on a treasure chest after his head gets cut off, and it could be the next big Super Bowl promotion, that would make Janet Jackson look like a virgin! Damn I should have plotted this back when the Tampa Bay Buccaneers won the Super Bowl, because it would have been a huge boondoggle, but then again what kind of idiot would have ever thought the Bucs would win a Super Bowl to begin with? Ok I have to get back on topic here before this starts to look foolish, and the last thing I would ever want to do is use rampant foolishness to try to prove a point ;8o)

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Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, screw ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

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