Wednesday, December 20, 2006

The Jeremy Crow Christmas Countdown 2006 #6


The first thing at Christmas that really sucks to me .. Detangling the phony Christmas tree.

The second thing at Christmas that really sucks to me .. Seeing my douche bag cousins, and detangling the phony Christmas tree.

The third thing at Christmas that really sucks to me .. Three spoiled rotten Evils’s. It was a long time for a reason, and detangling the phony Christmas tree.

The fourth thing at Christmas that really sucks to me .. Four cars parked on my lawn, Three spoiled rotten Evils’s, No let’s not see each other more often, and detangling the phony Christmas tree.

The fifth thing at Christmas that really sucks to me .. Five Broken Dishes! Four cars parked on my perfectly manicured lawn, Settle down kids it’s almost time, seeing my douche bag cousins, and detangling the phony Christmas tree.

The sixth thing at Christmas that really sucks to me .. Six different Christmas CDs I didn’t like last year, Five Broken Dishes! Did you have to squeal the tires on it? Stop being brats ok? Oh yeah they’re just great thanks! and detangling the phony Christmas tree.

The seventh thing at Christmas that really sucks to me .. Seven more shirts that are to ugly to wear. Why didn’t we buy new Christmas tunes? I’ll Clean It Up! I know that’s how they do it up north Zeke! Make me cancel Christmas next year! I still look younger than you two pricks, and detangling the phony Christmas tree.

The eighth thing at Christmas that really sucks to me .. Eight hours before I can get my family to leave here, No the picture of the bunny is charming. Those chestnuts are burnt Nat. I Know Chinette! Did I forget to tell you last year not to park there? Stop whining about the X-Box! Yes I know you make more than me, and detangling the phony Christmas tree.

The ninth thing at Christmas that really sucks to me .. Nine days until I can send the kids back to school, No feel free to leave whenever you want. Oh yeah, I’m sure those Izod Lacoste’s are making a comeback. Frosty had melted YAY! No Just Heirlooms! Well next time I will get a valet. Maybe next year guys! I am THRILLED to see you too, and detangling the phony Christmas tree.

The tenth thing at Christmas that really sucks to me .. Ten days until the kids have broken all their toys, Boy I really think they should’t have whole weeks off in school do you? Well let me just pack some of this up for you and you can leave any time now. Um .. when have you ever seen me wear teal? Oh man Bing Crosby had to be gay! Eat That In The Kitchen! No it was only 200 dollars in lawn seed honest. Sit down and shut up! No I think you don’t need to move any closer, and detangling the phony Christmas tree.

The eleventh thing at Christmas that really sucks to me .. Eleven different holidays demanding recognition, Can you guys maybe stop playing with that in the house? Oh God so when did you guys say you were going back to school? You know if you leave now you can beat the traffic? Well yeah I guess pink really might be my color. Look Rudolf is dead kids you can stop singing about him. Over The Table PLEASE! No you lined it up perfectly with the dead patch you made last year. Ok guys, cut it out or I’m calling Santa! I don’t care what college you two idiots went to! and detangling the phony Christmas tree.

The twelfth thing at Christmas that really sucks to me .. Twelve radical leftist organizations suing Santa, Oh FUCK YOU and your Romahanakwansmas Ok? Darius Stop Throwing Your Sisters Snow Globe! Please take the kids WITH YOU! GET THE FUCK OUT! WHAT MADE YOU BUY THAT! WHITE CHRISTMAS THIS! NOT ON THE CARPET! GET OFF MY FUCKING LAWN! THESE ROTTEN LITTLE BRATS! GOD I WANT TO KILL THEM!, and detangling the phony Christmas tree.