Saturday, December 2, 2006

Livin' With Evils's - Volume 22


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Who could deny the utter fear of Captain ADHD as the time approached for his next visit to Count Toothula in the Castle of the Effortless Mommy {The dentist at the Clinic} for the last time he had been at this place he had a rather large boil lanced and a rotten tooth extracted. The screaming from the “Root of all the Evils’s” as his rotten tooth had been extracted still burning in the mind of the Superdaddyman, and despite the fact that an “Easy Visit” was what the doctor had ordered on this day, there is always the fear of a misfire, based on the Dentist turnover rate at the Clinic. The Caped Pervader really has no choice but to bring the Evils’s here because no other Dentist will accept “Healthykids” {NH Medicaid} and to get a Dentist here you have to use this place for all the healthcare of all your Evils’s, or it is no deal. Keeping in mind that these are indeed the people who misdiagnosed Imtoocutus’s deafness, and then after the next set of tests revealed that she was indeed “deaf” they lost all of the tests for a very short 11 months. The Superdaddyman was forced to sell one of the former Superdaddymobiles in order to get an appointment with a specialist in the nick of time and get her the surgery that saved her hearing, but he IS very bitter that he is forced to see these people for his kids medical needs.

Now the Superdaddyman is not completely without heart as he realizes that it is a tough job running a clinic these days. Just waiting in line to sign in the Superdaddyman and Captain ADHD were forced to endure a piece of what these people have to endure on a day to day basis. It took 3 different translators to service the people in front of us. The first one was needed to translate for the pregnant woman who only spoke Spanish. The second spoke Serbian and it was mostly hand signals until the Superdaddyman stepped up to assist in the translation process. She was simply there to get her prescription, and I feel sorry for the man at the pharmacy unless he speaks Serbian but the Superdaddyman is to busy to go along to translate there. The third Brazilian woman and her Portuguese translator from out back argued for a while, and now it was about 15 minutes past the appointment time, we had been here for a half hour, and Captain ADHD is starting to look forth to create chaos. It’s what he does after all, and the Superdaddyman decided that it was best to simply let him go across the waiting room and destroy things on this occasion. There is a certain amount of time that any parent should be expected to keep their child under control on any given occasion, and then past that there is a “You asked for it” factor that is acceptable. Superdaddyman respects this rule when he is out in a restaurant for example where in if the restaurant is going to take longer than a half hour getting food on the table then the parents have done their job keeping the kids quiet for that amount of time, and they obviously WANT child chaos.

Once the Superdaddyman finally heard the name of Captain ADHD being uttered from the doorway the two of them started walking towards the door. The receptionist pointed out to the two of them that they had not checked in yet to which the Superdaddyman bellowed “No Hablo Ingles, Que?” and continued to escort the young prisoner towards the interrogation room. The two of them did actually recognize the Dentist which was rather rare. The last few times they had entered this laboratory, the cast of characters had changed. This of course didn’t change the ramifications of the last visit, as it didn’t take the dentist long to realize that he needed to remove the root of the tooth he had extracted the last time because the tooth that was supposed to settle in after he pulled the tooth, is growing strait out the front. Captain ADHD starts freaking out absolutely immediately and there really is nothing that the Superdaddyman can do to calm him down. The dentist decides to schedule the rest of the extraction at a later time {meaning that Superdaddyman is going to miss work} and decides to start grinding a cavity with a drill. The lack of Novocain or any sort of pain killer gets Captain ADHD’s attention instantly, but the poor little Evil’s clamped down and simply dealt with it.

The facts remain that for the first 4 and a half years of Captain ADHD’s life when he was in the custody of the Mother of all the Evils’s that she never expected the Evils’s to brush their teeth. Despite being totally a ward of the state with every form of social service that the rest of our little tax dollars could get to her, she wouldn’t put up with these little “inconveniences” to her drinking patterns. Despite the Gestapo style tactics of Superdaddyman to make the Evils’s brush their teeth and eat properly, there is still a lot of damage that was created by the neglect, and it is {as it always is} left up to the Superdaddyman to weather these storms in hopes of getting the baby teeth out as easily as possible, and hopefully salvage all of their adult teeth as best he can. Despite all of the hell that Superdaddyman had to endure getting Imtoocutus her hearing back {keeping in mind that the Mother of all the Evils’s couldn’t be bothered getting her to an allergist despite all of her government sponsored irresponsibility and stopping that for the first two years of her life} she does have good teeth because the Superdaddyman was able to get her into good oral hygiene before it was too late. We can’t even get into the plight of Lazius Boycrazius who didn’t brush her teeth for the first 9 years of her life, but let us just say that the Dentist gives her enough haunting memories every time she goes as well. It’s still pretty sad to see what Captain ADHD has to put up with every time he goes to the Dentist, but he is a bit hardened from the rotten life he was born into and he does take it like a little trooper in the end. It’s just another one of those little things that the Mother of all the Evils’s doesn’t have to go through and probably wouldn’t have anyway. I personally have no sympathy for her plight anymore.

As the evil leader of the Terrorist Organization Known as the Evils’s {TOKE} is taken from his cell to the wash room facilities to do the normal Teeth Brushing, and to take his pill {Melatonin} before he goes to lockdown for the evening, he grabs his bottle of Agent Cool Blue and shows it to the Superdaddyman. It’s down to its last few doses, and he states the obvious “Don’t forget to get more of this, so that I don’t forget to brush my teeth,” which is rather “grown up” for Captain ADHD, but that stuff has been quite a God Send in getting him and Imtoocutus to brush their teeth. They swish it around their mouths and it turns the plaque blue, and then they stand there with their little mirrors and brush until all of the blue is gone. It costs about 4 dollars at Wal-Mart, and lasts about 3 weeks, but I wouldn’t think about going without it. It’s all about doing “the next right thing” and despite the fact that the Superdaddyman doesn’t always do the “right” thing, the fact that he is always in pursuit of doing “the next right thing” not only makes life better, but in a lot of situations it makes life easier as well. Heaven forbid that as the last line of defense for planet Earth between Good and the Evils’s that Superdaddyman start dropping the ball now. Megalopolis would never be able to make it without a little common sense, and I can’t come this far to drop the ball now. ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes...
Mental Notes& Random Musings {Daily Blog}
The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of J~ Crow}

Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, fuck ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy

All writings Copyright © 2006

Jeremy Fink and The Crow's Nest